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A woman at work keeps asking me to come to her church. I always politely decline. When she asks why, my response is "I just don't go to church." I've been hesitant to reveal that I'm an atheist, as I'm unsure how my co-workers would take it. It really bothers me that I have to be this subdued in order to protect myself!

slm22 4 June 5
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27 comments

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6

I understand how you would feel frustration at not being 'allowed' to state your position out loud without repercussions, but they don't need to know your position. It is none of their business. Unlike them you don't have a need to 'convert'. Just keep declining the invitation and they will eventually either give up (do they ever give up though???) or come to their own conclusions. This is how I would handle it.

5

Just tell her you have other plans, and you do. Sleep, or breakfast, or whatever pleases you. You don't have to tell her what the plans are, just that they are long term and a very high priority.

4

Well that has to suck. I guess from what you said that it might affect you job, if you told her the truth. For myself I'm retired and don't have to care about what people think. Any way do what's best for you.

3

Yes I feel you there. I've been born and raised in the rural South where almost everyone goes to church or believes in some sort of religion. It's incredibly difficult to deal with people sometimes after they hear you're not a believer. Luckily St my office the new doctor that a joined us is also an atheist and it had made work way more enjoyable because I feel like we have each other's backs when we get Bible beaten. But we had to both expose our beliefs, or lack there of, in order to find that we had that in common. Sometimes taking the stand for yourself and just letting people know who you are paves a way for other closet atheist to join you in that freedom and right

3

It is hard to deal with especially if you feel it will effect your job. I am totally out to everyone so it is really hard to offer advice on what to do. I like the others say do what you feel you need to do. But I do think it would be perfectly fine to tell this lady then next time she asks that you appreciate the invitations but wish she would stop asking. After all it sounds like it is a little bit of harassment. Good luck.

2

Or maybe "To be honest, I have had a really bad experience with church and I just have no interest in exploring another at this time in my life?" Maybe that would be enough of a explanation that she will discontinue asking?

2

Burn down her house and unfriend her on Facebook

Dilemma... unfriendly first or arson ???

1

I happily announce that I am an Atheist when pestered by proselytizeing godbots...if they persist which they ALWAYS do...I tell them it is pure hosshit and then they go away never to pester me again

Xena Level 6 June 7, 2018
1

As someone who often gets atheist=godless horror from believers I feel you. I am out when asked but don't lead with it. I would agree with those who say simply declining and moving on. If they persist simply add a firm no. Adding you are a non believer is only going to get them to try harder IMHO.

1

The first order of business is to survive. Perhaps she is not so duplicitous and may test is a prelude for a date Christian style. All I know is I’m far to direct and make no excuses about who or what I am

1

I can understand your dilemma. If you proclaim you’re an atheist, or in my case an agnostic, religious people will look at you like you’re crazy.

balou Level 8 June 5, 2018

They do, but I look at them exactly the same way. Fair is fair!

The only time I didn’t feel safe for my person and belief had been down South.... there are people who seems to contain so much hatred and where acting on those racist impulses seem far greater

I don't get why people hide their Atheism? Who cares what religious people think? They DON'T think!

1

say i know you mean well but I just don’t do things with people with whom I work.

1

Oh and where do you work. I used to tell everyone that my faith was between me and my creator and no one else. They always shut up and didn't ask any more questions.

1

Where do you live?

South Florida.

0

I just say, I'm sorry, I don't practice any religion. When they ask if I believe in god, I say, "That's religion, isn't it?"

NickyD Level 3 July 18, 2018
0

wow amerca is truly a weird place over here i currently don't know 1 person who attends any sort of church or even is religious

weeman Level 7 July 18, 2018
0

You could find a Unitarian or "Atheist" church to belong to. Then inviter her to attend YOUR church instead.

0

Maybe she's hitting on you.

0

"Sunday is my day of rest."

0

Do they have music? Might be fun for that.

We have attended some catholic things, and baptist things. Just to hear the great sound.

0

Everyone at my work knows I quit going to church when my mom quit bribing me. You might ask what she's willing to give you to get you there. She'll either offer something and you can say, "no thanks, what about cash?" Or she'll stop.

0

I know exactly how you feel, and I think there are others who've lived like someone antisocial for fear of bigotry or other adverse reactions from others.

In that situation, I'd feel having a conversation with the churchgoer might be difficult, and if it is a fundamentalist church, they might equate atheism with devil worship, which is bizarre. I don't want to lie to people, and don't want to expose myself to unnecessary criticism.

Welcome to Agnostic.com. Enjoy.

0

No need for anyone to know your lifestyle, unless you choose to share. If needed, suggest you're more of a humanist or a secularist than a religious proponent... then just baffle them with bullshit.

Tomas Level 7 June 6, 2018
0

Ask her to leave you alone and stop harassing you about church and if it doesn't stop, visit the HR department and file a complaint. No one should be harassed at work about anything they aren't interested in... Religion included.

@Vimdysam22
Once told no asking her to church repeatedly is harassment. Hostile work environment is why they hold trainings to avoid lawsuits.

@Vimdysam22 Nothing is wrong with someone asking you to their church ONCE. After you politely DECLINE, any further inquiries is HARRASSMENT.

The problem with reporting to HR is they all are prolly believers.

@Jacar doesn't matter. HRs job is to field complaints.

@Clauddvon it doesn't matter what their job is. What they DO is what matters. Just because their job is one thing, doesn't mean that is how they are going to act.

0

I just say I am a non believer, or I am Philosopher

Etre Level 7 June 5, 2018
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