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What is your opinion about to get married?

I'm single now but I'm dreaming, one day I will have a family but in the same time, that thought scares me. What is your experience? Do you think it's good idea?

Sensiwoman7 6 June 22
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34 comments

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0

For me marriage is a contract to address the issues of end of life decisions, estate planning, inheritance, taxes, credit score, income, & child bearing. The last item I for one was never interested in. Love ends up on the shit pile so I would never marry for love.

5

I have been married for 60 years to a compassionate ,interesting ,generous ,Intelligent man . I have 2 beautiful l children . My marriage took place in a time and place that was more conducive to a successful union ,so my opinion has changed . I am not sure if i would get married in todays environment

granny Level 6 June 23, 2018
3

Was married for 8 years. Have been single for 36. Wouldn’t change it for anything.

3

It works for some people. I'm thinking of Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward.

3

Having a family is good if you know the two of you will last. Key question I asked my brother who had been married, "how do you know if you're in love?" His answer, "if you have to ask you're not." If you going to have kids--marriage is necessary for them--if no kids--only a tax break for getting married. For the people that say there's no commitment without marriage--unfortunately they are wrong. If you trust the person you want to marry, you don't need to get married. If you don't trust the person you're going to marry, marrying them won't change anything. Either way, you have to go with your gut--I wish you the best. Sorry, I just looked to see where you're from. Not sure about tax implications of marriage there.

lerlo Level 8 June 22, 2018
2

There are no guarantees in life except the ultimate one, and that is beginning to look like it might fall one day. Marriage is a legal concept, but it has other implications as well. It implies an agreement between two individuals to behave themselves, remain faithful, and be as truthful as decency will allow. It suggests that both parties will willingly put in the energy needed to make it a successful union over the long haul. It and subsequent children represents a series of serious responsibilities and that both parties will accept those responsibilities without hesitation. That I have made this contract with a woman and it has worked wonderfully is testimony to the idea that it can and often does work. There are others, many of them I have seen.

Because we are human beings, we can in no way predict that our contract will be one of the success stories. But similarly, we can't predict that it won't, with the exception of those potential situations where the signs are too obvious to miss -- yet even some of those work out well. So, if you are thinking about this, know that it can be a marvelous way to enjoy this life. There are no guarantees about anything. If you are moved to do it, then by all means do it. Just remember that it requires effort from both of you, that there will be rough times, and that it is a long term commitment. Oh, and do remember to have fun.

2

Other than legal implications, marriage has no bearing on a relationship.

2

Always remember what it was about that person that you found attractive. It might change over time, but a big part of the pain in a soured relationship is feeling stupid because you can't remember something so fundamental. If that's the path you choose, I wish you a long AND happy marriage.

2

I think that It is a good idea for most people to find a mate and have children. Fatherhood can be a rewarding experience for men, and I think that motherhood is even more likely to be a rewarding experience for women.

Marriage is a legal contract that varies somewhat with each society. In western societies the marriage contract seems to be more favorable for women, while in Islamic societies more favorable for men. Marriage also may sometimes be advantageous for passport or tax reasons.

In general I think that it is more important to find the right mate than to get married. If you find the right partner, marital status becomes a detail of your relationship, not the reason for the relationship.

2

People with bad marriages or a history of bad marriages will obviously advise you against marriage. People with happy successful marriages will probably encourage you to get married .That being said the divorce rate in the U.S is about 40 to 50 percent. I think if both individuals would agree to live together before marriage to see how things work out is the best option but rarely do both individuals agree on this idea.

2

That all depends on the reason for you getting married.

2

A marriage is what you put into it.

@NerdyOkieDude yes

1

I had a bad marriage when I was very young. I have a good marriage and children now. It's very scary in the sense that the idea of losing one of my kids terrifies me. It's also very rewarding. I thoroughly enjoyed raising my kids and teaching them to become productive adults.

1

I can take it or leave it. I'm afraid of lions, tigers, and bears. I'm afraid of debilitating illness or the day l can't play music anymore. Marriage, not so much.

1

Was married and divorced once and swore never again............. I'm currently reconsidering ?

Pete66 Level 6 June 22, 2018

@trblemaker hey she's put up with me for 7 years now! If it's a trap she's extremely patient ??

1

I don't see a point in marriage. Why do people need a legal binding contract to love and be with one another?

1

It is a wonderful and fine thing when it works..IMO too many people get married to the wrong people for the right reasons.

1

Its a public confession that 2 people intent to start a family, useful in societies where the law was the costumes and people need to know you and status is important. Today is useful for inheritance, taxes, insurance etc.
Or...
"I love you so much that I will put a priest and the government in our relationship"

The priest isn't compulsory

@Pete66 it is for the joke!

1

When my late husband and I got married on the beach, we had a JP and no mention of god. Basically, married for the state. We were in love after living together for several years and as we got older we decided that if something happened to either of us, we needed the security of financial crap. Since my husband passed it has been hard, you find yourself having to leagally erase their being. So hard.

1

I have been married for 20 years and it has been a very challenging, but ultimately rewarding experience. My advice is to make sure you have your life in order before getting married. So many people getting married because they are in love and they feel that other person "completes" them. That usually ends very badly. So, make sure you life is order. DO NOT marry someone who doesn't have their life in order. Finally, look for evidence (just like a scientist) that the person is honest, trustworthy and can handle commitment.

1
1

Marriage is an antiquated, and wholly unnecessary, social construct.
You can have a family without a government-sanctioned relationship.
I do not recommend entering into anything that is nothing more than a legal contract. It's also MUCH harder to get out of than into.

1

Marriage can be detrimental on many levels. i don’t want to discourage you. you have a BIG decision to make. i can only say it’s not for me. it was like instant slavery. good luck with your decision. i’m glad i don’t have to make it.

I am most definitely discouraging it.

1

It depends totally on the individual. I was married only once, got a divorce and have been single for 50 years and have no intention of changing that. I am a loner and an introvert and prefer to be by myself most of the time. I enjoy being around a woman when I have the opportunity, which isn't very often, but only for a short time frame (days at most).

0

If you are jealous, possessive, or controlling, do not get married, it won't work out, and remember you can leave your job, leave the state you live in, and leave your significant other, but unless you change yourself, your problems from the past (E.I) some past marriages, it will not work out. Treat marriage like a business, the harder you work make it a success, the more chances you have for it work out, i should know i followed my own advice, being married for the last 52 years the love of my life.

0

I've been with my other half for nine years. We'll likely get married sometime, to get me some of that sweet insurance. Don't particularly see a need for it otherwise. We've never been temporary.

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