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To Trust or not to Trust

Can trust ever be rebuild once broken? That goes for relationships of all kinds.

Mom-goddess 6 June 25
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25 comments

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6

Nope.
Once trust has been broken, doubt will always remain.

5

Trust can never be as pure as before, because the illusion, and that's what it was, of absolute trustworthiness has been shattered. But absolute trust is usually risky and unwarranted, anyway, so a measured, cautious, partial kind of trust might actually be the healthiest and most appropriate.

4

Broken isn’t broken.

Explain?

@Mom-goddess
A broken glass is broken. A broken heart isn’t broken. Just start again.

3

No. Trust is the healthy foundation to any relationship, friend or otherwise. Once it’s broken the crack will never heal itself and you’ll always be on shaky ground.

2

I entirely depends on how strong the relationship was before the trust was broken, how bad the rift or betrayal, that both individuals own their stuff, and whether or not they are willing to work through it.

2

This question reminds me of a traditional Native American lesson about life. Many years ago an elder explained this analogy: When we speak of "the circle of life" we are describing your personal life process. You start your circle when you are born and begin your journey forming a circle to end (die) where you began. as your travel along this circular path if something is taken from you (loose a loved one or any other horrible experience) you can not go back and fill this in. You must move forward. Your circle will have gaps. I believe "truth" also falls within this model.

Interesting analogy! Thought provoking.

2

Nope. Trust is not something you can intellectualise. You trust or you don't.

Trust has to be earned. If someone has earned your distrust - that's their karma.

2

I think anything is possible under the right circumstances. Personally though, in the realm of a romantic relationship, it's never happened for me.

I had a romantic partner cheat on me physically many years ago, and as much as we both tried to put it back together, things were never the same.

I think now being older, if it happened again, I think I might even be less forgiving that when I was younger. Probably because by the time you get to a certain age, you should know ahead of time how poisonous infidelity is.

I despise cheats. Truly. They are the scum of the earth.

I'm sorry that happened to you.

I quite agree. Notwithstanding all the possible scenarios and circumstances, by a certain age, we've all experienced -- or know somebody close to us who has experienced -- that devastating betrayal, so I agree. By middle age, the enormity of the transgression is multiplied by the fact that they knew, or should have known, the effects of their choices.

2

Yes,like a mirror once broken, it's never 100% again,trust as in betrayal,caught with another person?

In a relationship could be caught with another person or in general just people lying to you to cover for someone else.

2

Once burned, twice shy. I doubt anyone escapes that idiom.

1

Trust resides within one's confidence, not outside into someone's else perception.

1

99.4% of the time, I would say no.

1

No. I stopped trusting my parents ages ago and never went back. They did nothing to earn it back, either. Especially my mother. They're both dead, now, but while they were alive I did not trust them at all.

1

I think it takes more work to destroy trust than it does to build it. However, once trust is destroyed, it takes way more work to rebuild it than it did to build it in the first place.

NerdyB Level 4 June 25, 2018
1

Once broken, trust can never be regained in any relationship, personal or professional.

JB4now Level 5 June 25, 2018
0

I remember when Nixon resigned. He was in disgrace and many thought the trust was broken. Ford came along, fell down a lot, had car accidents, and was genuinely funny. Carter came after as a 'good ole boy', wore blue jeans. When trust is broken, this is how you regain it: 1) time, 2) gaining attention through humor, 3) be a good friend, listen, always talk friendly. As time passes trust returns.

0

Nerp. I can forgive most things, but dishonesty is a one way ticket to "someone that I used to know."

0

Once trust is broken it's broken, there's no reason to stick around

0

I think this is different for different people. For me it is a definite no. I trust everyone as a matter of rule to a pretty high degree out of the gate so I don't usually hang around to see where they will betray me next. IMO trust honesty integrity are all things people don't generally change ever and even if they do it is usually because they lost something or felt they lost something and a very long process to re-program yourself

0

Dealt with it in my last longterm relationship which was on and off for 10 years. I ended it 9 years ago. 3 times breaking up did it.

0

It is tough.

0

Sure, but if someone has shown you what he is really like, it's self-destructive to return to him. You can distance yourself and only be casual friends; it would be foolish to return to trusting them.

Sadly, abused women use the "forgive and forget" excuse to keep returning to their abusers, and refuse to leave them, or act for themselves.
They are co-dependent on their abusers, and don't want to admit it.

0

Nope.

0

A resounding no

0

I can never be what it was. A certain amount of trust can be regained, but you can't un-ring the bell.

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