The people in a relationship should be sexually compatible. A person with a high sex drive and one with a low sex drive is going to lead to resentment over time. Same for a person who is adventurous with one that wants vanilla sex. It is all ok but giving up, or being forced to endure, due to the difference, leads people to feel like they are missing out. That is very unhealthy long term.

Alternatively, some people have open relationships so that they can stay with each other without having to match in the area of sex.

There is also nothing wrong with porn in an amount that helps him feel like he is not missing out as long as it doesn't leave her wanting. Unfortunately, most people hide their true desires, even from their partners, for fear of being judged. A real partnership is supportive of varying desires and each can share openly without fear of judgement. It is really the only way to figure out how both, or all, people in a relationship can be fulfilled.

I believe the majority of people would agree that for a romantic relationship to thrive and survive, there has to be a sexual relationship. I am one of those people. However, there are always exceptions. I’ve known people who are in relationships that are not sexual and it seems to work for them.

Sounds like they are trying to look the part so people think of them as good according to their churches standard, I bet they're miserable but simply quit trying or thinking it was possible for them to get what would make them happy and just stay comfortably boring and pent up.

Sounds like you want to help your friend, IF she is unhappy in her marriage. Every marriage (and relationship, for that matter) is a different combination of various components. Priorities of those components might or might not be agreeable to both parties in equal measures. Those are factors in deciding whether to stay together, work on issues, create work arounds, that might not be anyone’s business, or give it all up for door number 3.

While you might feel sorry for your friend, remember the quantity of sexual activity does not necessarily equal quality.

There may be psychological factors that could be helped with counseling, but sometimes there is just a lack of physical and emotional attraction. So the decision to stay together, despite a lack of sexual satisfaction, is a thoughtful decision. Your friend might complain to you, to vent her frustration, but she may not really want to do anything about it, except vent. Or perhaps she is seeking advice from you?

I was married a long long time. My ex-husband was not affectionate, not particularly physically attractive to me, and simply could not win or keep my admiration after the many demeaning things he would say and do. He was abusive as well. So it was simply impossible for me to want to have sexual relations with him. We slept apart, for 20+ years of our marriage. Duty sex, when demanded, was obviously not satisfying for me. Couldn’t wait to get out of the marriage, but thought it best to stay together for the kids.

After freeing myself from my bad marriage, I became the sexual being I always was inside and had an intimate partner for several years who helped me discover the joys of sex. Saddest part of this discovery is lamenting about all the years I missed out on such wonderful sex, had I left my marriage sooner.

I don’t think a satisfying sex life is mandatory for a marriage or a relationship, but it definitely is a bonding gesture that enhances a relationship greatly and can sometimes be the one thing that keeps a couple together during other dissatisfactions. The success of a relationship can not be based on sexual compatibility alone. There must be other factors that keep her invested in the marriage.

For some folks, sex isn't very important. As for myself l find SEX EXTREMELY IMPORTANT, but thats just me.

I think it depends on the health and vitality of the couple. Some couples lose a lot of that vitality as they get older.

Intimacy is a part of romance and sex between two people in a relationship is usually involved in intimacy it's always sad in a relationship when one person loses their interest in sex and the other person does not

It's important for me. My last romantic relationship fell apart partly because my girlfriend lost sexual interest in me. I can't really comment on your friend, though.

Sex or at least intimacy is really important to me. If we are not making out or sleeping nude or barely clothed every night what's the point.

I can't imagine a romantic relationship without sex.

If it weren't for sex, I would just hang out with my friends, no romance required.

People have many different ways giving and receiving love. For some people simply saying "I love you" and demonstrating love through random acts of kindness are enough. For many others (myself included) sex is needed in order to truly feel loved.

For me, I'm extremely affectionate and physical. I don't necessarily have to have sex to be happy in a relationship, but I 100% need touch.
Having said that, sex is important to me. And I'd much rather be in a solid relationship where we are having sex, then one we aren't.

Marital vows aren't vows of chastity.

no sex = no real relationship

Everyone is different and every relationship is different. as long as both parties are on the same page and satisfied with the arrangement everything is fine.. it is just sad when there is a serious mismatch in a couple who have different levels of sexual energy and kink. . If you can't have that connection with your mate it is really sad. the church as messed up lots of marriages making sex and love distorted. when we deny our animal side needs it is a vexation of the spirit and will demean the relationship and can bring long term deep seated problems. it's all about compatiblity and openess. the big fear of "sin" has ruined so many unions that could have been happy .

My husband's quadruple bypass ended intercourse for us 13 years before he died. It did not end intimacy or our love for each other. I think it would be very hard to create that love without sex during the beginning of a relationship.

I hesitate to infer anything into the nature of your friends' intimate lives beyond the information given explicitly. A smirk in a photograph is way too ambiguous to drill down to something as specific as a porn addiction.

People have different libidos from one another, and a person's libido varies over the course of one's lifetime and one's emotional route through life.

Speaking strictly for myself, I've found that in the early stages of a romantic relationship I can't get enough of her: I want sex a lot, and it's fun and passionate and pleasingly distracting from other things. That "pleasingly distracting" part is critical: if the relationship is nothing but sex, it's not going to last very long, because the sex is distracting from doing other things necessary to build the relationship. Over time, desire tapers down but never goes away.

Also, I've been fortunate in my life to not have any sort of physiological problems interfering with ability or desire. Not everyone is so fortunate.

I love your description of the husband in the photo!! ? But in answer to your question: a sexless marriage, or even relationship, would not work for me. The intimacy and bonding of sex is in my book as close as two people can get. I can like you from a distance, but when I love you, I want to be part of you. When I say sex, I am not talking about the act of physical intercourse alone, but the sensuality of bodily contact, skin against skin, extended foreplay, tasting, kissing.... OK, gotta stop now, these are all things I have not had in my life for way too long! ?

For most people sex is a part of the relationship. I am aware of a couple who have not had sex with each other, for over 10 years, although they do have sex outside of the relationship. Howevr they re hyappy and i8t seems to work fine for them. Still for most people sex is an important part of the relationship.

It is a requirement for me. But since it's such an important yet secretive part of the human condition, there's so many places where people can develop hangups about it, and the way people react around it is, at least to outside onlookers, quite bizarre and irrational.

But really, you get into a relationship with a person so you can give and get the things that you both need and you can't (easily) give/get elsewhere.

A sexless relationship can be healthy and successful, but only if that VERY closely reflects the needs and the desires of both participants

I think every couple is different, if they are BOTH happy with ones a month, good for them!!!!!
.. I would probably die tho... LOL

I can't speak for others but sex would have to be part of a marriage, it may not be the prime factor but it's got to be there and enjoyed on a regular basis by both parties

In my marrige we’d barely get to double figures in a year. I hated that. I think subconsciously it lead to resentment and anger which then made me not be the husband perhaps I should’ve been.

Necessary? No. In fact, I've had enjoyable romantic episodes without sex.

Desirable? Well, what do you think? (In other words, hell yes).