I only look at women's photos, so I have no idea if men do this too, but... it seems really odd to me. (Please note, I'm talking about other dating sites, like Match and Harmony... you know, the "dating" dating sites...)
Why does a person looking to entice other single people (okay, theoretically single people at least) post pictures of themselves and their kids and grandkids on a dating site? What's the message being sent?
Is the subliminal message "I'm a good parent, I'm a stable person, you can trust me not to freak out on you"? Because the message that comes through, intentionally or not, is "I'm looking for a substitute Dad who's going to nurture my kids from Day 1, and if you're not that guy, you're wasting my time, fella!"
I assume that anyone my age has the probability of kids. I mention my daughter in my profile. I don't put her face on a public forum next to mine for random strangers to look at.
Maybe that's what bothers me most... the message that "I don't have the safety consciousness to keep my young kids and/or grandkids' photos out of sight until I at least meet the person I'm interested in and know whether or not he's the Boston Strangler."
Seriously... why the kid pictures?
I've always found it odd, but there are a couple cases in which it can be helpful (though it could be written in the profile as well) to weed out unsuitable partners: 1) the is mixed race or of a different race from the parent (I don't like race as a concept, so please let my use of it slide here) and 2) if it's clear that the has special needs. But yes, I find it odd and would prefer that a match says in his or her profile useful information about the kids (autistic, live at home, out of the house, different ethnic background -- which could be addressed in other ways as well without mentioning the ).
I have never posted a picture of my kid, parents, or others on a dating site. I realize kids need to be welcomed, but the idea would have to come after a relationship was actually building. Some of the kid pictures could also entice sexual predators to respond.
I don't post pics of my daughter or grand daughter cause they wouldn't like it. Both a very camera shy.
The message is " I love my kids, and we are a package deal " I feel confident that is a not so subtle message. A woman might be sending with pics of her kids.
I agree. The kids being plastered all over those sites aren't given a choice to be seen or not be seen on an ADULT site. It's irresponsible of the poster and could be downright dangerous if in the hands of a more sinister motivated individual or organization...
Could be because there's a socialized gender norm that women are expected to be warm, nurturing, caring mothers ... so posting pictures of them in that role primes that stereotype, making you think they adhere to said stereotype ...
It's the same rule of thumb that men who post pictures of themselves with dogs -- it's supposed to elicit "warm fuzzies" for those on dating sites ... priming to associate communal characteristics (e.g., warm, nurturing, friendly) with them ...
Particularly since dating stereotypically is associated with procreating ....
I say all this with my tongue-in-cheek .... anyone who knows me on here knows my views with these gender norms and stereotypes ... but that's what the research shows ...
I just think it says "Hey, I'm normal. and not a scammer from Nigeria"
A friend of mine married a guy she met on a dating site and I remember her telling me that she was initially attracted to him specifically because he had posted a sweet photo of himself with his little granddaughter.
I see quite a few older men holding newborn babies or toddlers in their profile pics. I think it is like the fish pictures: they don't have their pictures taken unless they're holding a baby or a fish. In this day and age, I cannot fathom why parents post dating site pics of their kids; it's like saying, "Hey, perverts, here they are."
I build software posting a pic of your child these days is no less safe than doing nearly every other internet based activity. If youve been paying attention to how many massive internet breaches have happened the last few years rest assured that its highly likely that much more detailed profiles of you are in posession of a few criminals.
Also kidnappings, child abuse, etc has a higher incident rate from people close to the victim.
Soooo no need to scream fire.
I think some ppl are just challenged, period. Having seen some pics of kids with what looks like Ms Paint colored on their faces on here (uh YUCK?) seems ppl don't know how to crop, or won't ask someone to help with that.
I would not post my kid on here, but will on my other community. That said while not looking for another "Daddy" for mine, having had heinous step parents in the past not being able to gel with my kid, who's not a teenager anymore, would be a deal breaker out the gate, because I hazza great kid.
I have four teenaged children. I do not post their pictures for safety and privacy reasons. I suppose that parental pride could play a part in it, for those that do.
I am a wonderful mother and I am immensely proud of the people my children have become.
It's a shit ton of hard work and dedication.
Maybe that's what they're attempting to demonstrate?
Either way, I prefer our privacy remain intact, but I can understand the urge to "show off" one's offspring.
What I cannot understand is pictures of pets, or a group of people with the faces so small you can't tell who is the person in the profile, or random landscape photographs, or pictures in which there are men next to the member of the dating website and you wonder the relationship.
Is your judgment only for those who are primarily on this site for dating purposes? Many of us are here mostly for community, but might be open to the possibility of dating.
Are these photos of children you object to being posted with addresses or something? Please explain the foundation of these safety fears you have. What harm do you envision happening to them that they are not exposed to in their normal daily life?
I'm not looking to attract someone whose main goal on this site is to be "looking at women's photos" as you state you are. So, thanks for being up front about that icky warning. Hopefully the majority of people on this site are here with less nefarious reasons.
I'm looking primarily for friends and intelligent conversation, not dating or hookups. I would hope I could gauge a person's character well enough before meeting in them person, and surely before they would ever come in contact with my family members, since they live in another state.
I do like to present a well rounded glimpse into my lifestyle to share with those wishing to engage in friendly conversation. This a social site, after all, where we can feel we are engaging with real people with similar interests.
What your post says to me is that you "look at women's photos" for some deviant purpose and either photos that include kids either distract from that purpose and/or that you (or feel others) look at kids photos for deviant purposes as well. That is an icky thought. Do you have those thoughts when you see magazine ads, family travel articles and commercials that have kids in them?
I'm here mostly for community and if someone is interested in who they are conversing with, my profile photos show me at home, at work, relaxing with my grandkids and other photos that show what makes me happy in life.
The photos that include my (fully clothed) kids/grandkids are public photos available online for anyone to see at my daughter's travel blog site and were taken while we were on vacation in public places. They live in another state. I don't post their address. I can't imagine what harm would come to them by me sharing my daughter's public photos of them. Maybe you could elaborate with reasons to convince me I should remove them?
I don't think we can protect ourselves, our children or our pets from people people having deviant thoughts of harming them. So, unless I am convinced otherwise, I choose to enjoy my life and feel safe enough sharing glimpses of my lifestyle, fully knowing they can be seen by "random people" just as they could when the photos were taken.
It's not a requirement to post any photos on this site - it's up to each member to choose what they feel is safe and appropriate to share. If admin chooses to make a rule that no photos of people under 18 are allowed, that would be fine with me. Until then, I see no reason why folks can't post photos of their family if they choose.
Seems to me the choice of some members to post family photos helps you to weed out possible mate choices that you feel have a lack of "safety consciousness" so it seems it is useful to you that way.