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Question for the single people...

Do you, have you, would you have sex with people for the sake of getting laid? The so-called booty call. Do you feel regret after? Do you do it with hopes that they'll eventually want a relationship? Do you make sure your intentions, (or lack thereof) are known? Do you just use people?

valerina 7 July 13

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73 comments

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5

As long as everyone is on the same page there’s nothing wrong with a friend with benefits. Sometimes you just want to have sex with no commitment and no strings.

2

I've done it before. I didn't regret it because we both knew it was just a wham bam thank you ma'am.

Honestly in my younger days I had a lot of sex with no strings attached. The only time I felt guilt was when one was in a relationship and I found out later. Oh boy I screamed at him and was so angry at him and myself. I've been cheated on and never wanted to do that to someone else.

@LadyAlyxandrea Almost like a broken commitment, sacred promise betrayed,a severe blow to your well being and ego perhaps?

@sweetcharlotte 18 was a very rebellious age for me

@sweetcharlotte 18 was a very rebellious age for me

2

Nope, call me old-fashioned but I believe you need to know somebody first.

0

i did when i was alot younger but i havent had a one night stand in nearly 10 years.
I don't like regrets! if i find out the other person was an asshole, i would prefer they have never had the pleasure of touching me

1

Nope. Because they never end up wanting a relationship and I'm too old to be wasting my time on someone who with never be more than FWB

GwenC Level 7 July 13, 2018
2

I’m pretty sure that the last time I was only in it for sex was my early 20s. At some point my heart got tangled up with sex, so no booty calls for me.

Hermit Level 7 July 13, 2018
2

I had some one-night stands when I was a young man, but I don't think I would do it now, though the temptation hasn't been in front of me. For whatever reason, when it gets physical, my heart gets involved.

1

I suppose I have in three kinds of situations: more or less getting back together with an ex, with a friend with whom the relationship had been Platonic, and sex early in a relationship -- more like, before there was a relationship (first date or shortly thereafter). In the first situation, it was with the same ex and each time one of us wanted to get back together but it never happened or lasted very long. As far as future actions go: I don't see how it would happen with an ex, but if I thought of her as a friend and we were FWB for a night or something, I might, hypothetically speaking, be ok with it. I might also consider it if I wanted to get back together, but probably wouldn't if I thought she might want to get back together when I didn't.

2

I always make my intentions abundantly clear from the get-go, no interest in messing people about. I have slept with someone for a while without it being a relationship, but we've been genuinely friends. I couldn't bring myself to sleep with someone I don't respect! Sometimes a full-blown relationship isn't going to work for whatever reason, but spending time together is still very nice.

2

I don’t. I prefer a connection with a partner, not just sex. I can’t imagine that anyone would want a one night thing with me, either, as I really suck at first impressions, I’m not a people person, and any charm that I carry is covered in layers of pain, abuse, and distrust.

@valerina Maybe but I don’t want that

1

I had a one-night stand a while back and I didn't like it. Sure the sex was fun, but that was it. Tried making it into a relationship, but they were not interested. Next time I’ll be more reserved about it.

1

I did when I was younger, but not now. Hell, when I was younger I exclusively dated married men because I didn't want a relationship/connection.

Now I want a connection to the person I have sex with.

2

I have done a ton of that back in my day. Sometimes, I called, sometimes they called.
But honestly getting older I really just don't care about that kind of thing any more. I've never been one much for having to be in a relationship any way, although I've had quite a few. But most of the time I like to spend my time on my my own, or with some friends.

4

I used to be okay with casual sex until a one night stand turned into years of custody battles and having to be nice (for my son's sake) to a woman I downright despise... Now, the only sex I have is with myself...

@valerina As much as I despise her -- and it's A LOT -- I wouldn't change a thing... I got a really great son out of the deal, so I can put up with her petty bullshit... He's worth it...

1

I would have a fwb, if the option was there.

1

I certainly would and have many times in my 50 years as a single man.
I have never regretted it in any way.
I have been single for 50 years, have lived alone for over 40 years, have no interest in marriage or have anyone live with me, so I did not expect or want it to be a relationship, other than one that we both enjoyed when we were together and wanted to continue.
I have never entered into any affair without the other person knowing my attitude about relationships, understanding my position, agreeing to my position and enjoying what we share together for our mutual benefit.
I do not think that as long as 2 consenting adults agree to what they are doing, know what they are doing, understand what they are doing and want to do it, that you are "using" anyone and if you are, then both are using each other willingly and with agreement.

@valerina Nah, just an old Hedonist.

1

I don't like superficial connections, and foreplay begins with the mind and conversation. Before I became poly, I was far more inclined to be in a monogamous relationship or have some kind of arrangement with one close friend than to engage in meaningless sex with strangers. The initial time period of getting to know each other, flirting, playing cat and also cat, that's so much fun and it creates a slow smolder that grows and crackles and then there are moments where things almost happen and then finally there's just that moment where it all ignites. And you don't really get that when the process of first introduction to sex takes less than six hours. I'm also a part of the D/s subculture and the only thing more important than compatibility of tastes is very clear open communication and well-negotiated consent guidelines, so forthright honesty is of highest priority.

1

Prior to age 10 yes. 10-12 maybe. After 12 not a chance.

FynTul Level 6 July 13, 2018
1

No, it's too superficial. If I want that, I'll go to work. Outside of work, I want something more meaningful. And sex is only one part of that. Not a very big part, either.

1

Casual sex was great until my 30s. Then one morning i woke up and couldn't remember who i'd slept with the night before.

I don't drink so it was my inner monitor who was disgusted with me and then hiotting me with temporary amnesia, a wake-up call in fact. At that point it was easy for me to stay celibate for a couple of years to reevaluate my life and my values.

I realized that without a loving relationship, i was and am no longer interested in having casual sex like we used to on all those 'one night stands'. I needed the emotional connections beyond the physical, instant gratifications. I didn't lose the drive, just regained control of my hormone-generated compulsions when i was tempted, and i often was, and still am.

Because, believe it or not, many seniors who missed them the first time for whatever reasons are now experimenting with a 60s style sexual revolution. The levels of STDs among seniors proves it.

[huffingtonpost.com]

But i've been there, done that, and got the tee shirts, so there's no need for me to re-live those wild times; i can do so whenever i want through all those glorious memories, and i do so regularly. (with the help of some great Polaroids too 😉 ) 😉

1

I'm not interested.

2

I have, and I have no problems with it. So long as both parties know what they are getting in to and accept the potential risks.

1

I've tried it, it's just not me. Just feels empty. I don't have to be in a committed relationship, but at least someone I trust and feel a connection with. And yes, it's very important that we are both upfront and honest about our intentions, otherwise it can really get messed up. So, in the interim, that would be okay on occasion. But Ideally I would like a loving and meaningful relationship, and if I had that then even the thought of something casual would be non-existent.

1

It's been awhile, wouldn't hurt right about now lol.but I may not feel so good about it after.

@valerina thank you. We're human after all.

1

I have been party too the occasional booty call, sometimes I am ok with it other times I feel used. I guess if its mutual and both parties have the understanding of what's going on and are mature enough to handle it I don't see a problem with it. Some times it is nice to let loose with no expectations and knowing you aren't going to emotionally hurt someone.

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