Well, don’t ya think that having mechanical sex with some dude that isn’t really interested in you, is the very antithesis of being involved and relating, to sharing life on a minute-to-minute basis, with another human being, as you both whirl through space on a rock !! The Brazilians capture the essence of romance beautifully, as they whisper in the moonlight, in soft Portuguese...... “The fundamental loneliness goes, whenever two can dream a dream together ...... “

To me, the question is more about individuals. I don't date all or most women. I date individuals, who are different from each other. Sometimes I feel a connection and sometimes not.

Sometimes I feel a sexual attraction, emotional, or an intellectual one. That's what dating is for, and frankly it can be a mixed bag.

I guess that I am pretty selective, and also I don't have the ideal combination of physical traits that attract a lot of potential mates, therefore I have not had many partners. (3)

I am an emotional creature and want intimacy more than just sex. I don't favor having a set of fixed rules and a playbook. Each relationship is complex and requires something different.

Dna and reproductive success aside, aproach a potential partner as a unique and beautiful person who may allow you to share some part of themself.

Enjoy what is given and only take what they share. Even if it is only a few minutes or the excitement of a shared moment.

I love everyone I have loved, but some have moved on in other directions.

Different guys want different things with different people at different times. There have been times when all I wanted was a sexual relationship; there have been times when I wanted more. Honestly, it mostly depended on what was going on in my life at the moment.

I'm on the fence about this one. A younger me shortly after my divorce was just interested in a sexual relationship. The current me is just looking for a friend that shares my interests, feelings and affection. Sex would be involved in any relationship I pursue because It feels good and I enjoy the emotional connection I get with my partner but as I'm approaching middle age it's gone down a rung or two one the ladder of importance. Especially since I've been without for about two years now.

Hmm... that is an interesting question. Maybe so...? I have only had sex with people I was in a committed relationship with first. I have never even had a one-night stand. I could count all my lovers on one hand as well and the shortest relationship I ever had was 3 years, longest was almost 10. I am a long term gal, and in that, I require some form of committment. Any man not willing to commit to me isn't going to have the luxury of passing through My Pearly Gates, so to speak. hee hee If all I want is a fuck, I can find that. I prefer something with substance. If that is all he wants, and you want more, you should probably take a pass on this train. But don't worry sister, another train will come along again! You should never have to settle for something less than your own expectations and if you aren't there just to get your groove on, move along to the next station and await the next train. I always feel if something isn't good enough for me, why would I be willing to settle? We Can be as picky as we Want so long as we are also As Patient as humanly possible. But like they say, "good things come to those who wait." I would rather Wait and get the Whole Tamale over gambling with a Hope that eventually things Will turn around in my favor. You can never change anyone else so if you are already on the Wrong Page from day one, it probably would be a mistake to get your feelings involved, only to end up having to break away somewhere down the line. He has to feel what you feel at the Same time. There is no "catching up" in this game called "love." If he cannot meet you 50% of the way, Walk Away. Thats my advice. Maybe I sound harsh, but I think you deserve Everything you Want and More. Never Settle for Less than you are Worth. Good luck out there and I hope you find the answers you seek. I say, you seem like a cool enough person, wait it out. Trust me. Something better is out there!! PS- hey you are a pretty lady too boot! You don't need that riff-raff! wait for a man who wants to swim in those beautiful blue eyes of yours! You are worth it! Wait for someone who wants what You want too!

Sex is like mathematics. "ADD the Bed, MINUS the lights, DIVIDE the legs and begin to MULTIPLY"

hahaha thats why I love SCIENCE more than MATH way back school days.. therefore; not all man are up into Sex as not all man likes MATH...LOL

Be glad he was honest... finding honesty is truly refreshing. Like you, I want more than just bumping uglies

No not all guys are like that But most guys are most guys one head gets hard and the other head gets soft they think to much with the wroung head

I definitely enjoy sex, but for me love + sex is the absolute best. There is something so intimate and personal about it. Give your all to the one you adore. So, definitely for me, it's a relationship plus sex.

I always felt that sex was better when there was a relationship and both participants cared for each other.

I have both, it really depends on the lady, how we feel about each other and so on.
So in your case, if you don't want a sexual relationship, you don't have one. Either way has to work for both and be what both wants, or it is neither.

I like sex. I like it a lot. I also need to live with myself, so there's that. Hurting people makes me feel bad, which is not something I enjoy.

I think when we think about it -- we all prefer a relationship with sex. we prefer intimacy - and want to be loved and give love

With guys I think it's pretty common. Up until recently I was the guy who always wanted the long term, committed relationship but that's not the best thing for me right now. I think I could do a hookup but would prefer some type of emotional connection with sex. I guess that would put me more in the relationship with sex category.

I am not sure about the game he is playing. You have been friends for years and only recently there was that sexual interest in each other. What is more important is that you have both established that you do not have the same aims for the sexual relationship side. I think better I know sooner rather than later.

First, I see this as applying to all genders ( I don't say "both" anymore). I know there have been people in my past, that I've met during various phases of my life - where , frankly - all I wanted was their body. And if it was mutual - all systems go ! Consenting adults after all. Then there are the deep connections, the love, the caring, the passion - and yes , sex. Two quite different levels of connecting , as I see it.

I respect the fact that he was honest and upfront with you. Some guys and women only want a sexual relationship. Others are at a point in their lives where they want a life partner. I have been in both places. At one time all I wanted was a sexual relationship and it worked out fine for me and my friend. I had too many things going in my life and I was unable to fully commit to a relationship, but I was upfront with that with her. You may be a good friend with him, but you may not know everything that he has gone through. He may have good reason for not wanting to be in a fully committed relationship.

I imagine he may not want to potentially ruin the obviously great friendship you two have. And as everyone else said, there isnt an all or most or anything. I'm mostly doing FWB myself lately (last few years in fact), though I am starting to get into that mode where I'd really like a boyfriend. I made the mistake of entering into a sexual relationship with someone I knew I was falling for, and I don't think he feels the same. Makes it a lot easier that hes about two hours away, though. We've seen each other three times (3 specific instances over one weekish long visit) in the last...five or six months.

it's not just men but id like a relationship with sex really but I would just have sex but it's not my ideal. I like your friend's honesty and your both grown-ups so if you need to scratch an itch maybe you should but it might change your friendship.

Is the M word taboo ? One song in my repertoire is Frank Sinatra Love AND MARRIAGE Love AND MARRIAGE go together like a horse and carriage THIS I TELL YOU BROTHER you can't have one without the other.....horribly the song was made Infamous Fox TV sitcom MARRIED WITH CHILDREN

That boy has no clue how lucky a man he would be if he respected your relationship potential rather than his penis professions. ...this one is only a tiny bit more evidence our patriarchy keeps boys in the dark away from our natural Feminist heritage. ...real men want mutual love giving not compartmentalized fucking

Guys aren't the only ones. It depends on the individual person.

pretty much. hopefully you have more to offer that will bring out the best in us

Many people have pointed out the obvious, not all _____ are the same. However, I think everyone is missing a key element in their reply. They need to take it one step further. Just because a guy only wants a sexual relationship with girl A doesn't mean that guy (and certainly not MOST guys) ONLY want sexual relationships. That guy may very well walk out of his house the next morning and randomly run into girl B with whom he'd love to have a relationship with sex.

i'm not so sure that you're that out of touch. Are things so different these days then they were 10, 20, 30 or more years ago? Do computers, cell phones and x-box fuck with your sexual intelligence that much? Granted, technology could make you smart or stupid but thats not the same as being a sexual neanderthal. Probably some folks won't agree with this, but love is real and a relationship has to be based on that and sex without love is ok for some people but for someone who wants more, that's not enough. I think it all stems from living in a patriarchal society where males are supposed to be dominant and females are made to feel inferior. Men, when we're old enough to get aroused , the dominant culture educates us to have sex with as mane females as we can because that is what a real caveman does. I know there's a crazy little thing called love{to quote Freddie Mercury}, because I was in love with the same woman for 49 years, until the day she died, 2 years ago. I think some guys just want a sexual relationship, and some more do not. But I don't think we stop looking for love because of those who are just looking for sex.