As a side of a question I posted in the singles group, do you give honest compliments?
I mean do you give them easily as a way to break the ice or do you think about it and only make them with honesty?
On a side note of the side note, do you use compliments as a way to advance on the idea of picking another up?
I give compliments freely but they're honest compliments. I do have some rules as to how I structure and present them sometimes.
For example: if I am giving a woman a list of positive traits as a form of compliment, any compliment regarding physical appearance OR fashion sense must come at least fourth, no sooner, for a list longer than 3. Fronting a compliment string with a comment on appearance is,in my opinion, shallow, objectifying, and lazy. Personality traits first. Unless it's in response to a self-depricative comment about appearance, in which case it's a direct refutation and so it's a different type of exchange.
If I see something that attracts me to someone I usually tell them.. Sometimes it has consequences other times the other person takes it for what it's worth
I don't know why anyone would give a compliment that wasn't sincere, unless they were being paid to (service industry, etc)
Here’s an article about what can happen to women who agree with the compliments they are given. What a weird response from this guy, yet not unusual. The Twitter comments are telling. They oddly veer into a book discussion but then continue after that. [scarymommy.com]
This. All of this. And I wonder why I struggle with self-acceptance. Can't be pissing off the men by owning that I might actually be pretty.
I do give compliments and with sincerity. I know how good it makes me feel if someone compliments me so if I like someone’s hair or notice a cute new outfit or even if they just look especially happy I’ll give them a compliment. I do that to strangers too.
Sometimes they ended up being not compliments.
I give encouragement, or try to. I compliment when I can, and I always try to be honest, but we all need encouragement.
Whenever I give anyone a compliment, I do it with complete sincerity.
People are always really quick to tell you when you're fucking up, but they hardly ever make the effort to take the time to say something nice.
Whenever I have the opportunity to pay someone a real compliment, I'll do it.
Especially strangers.
I've never used a compliment as a pick-up line.
If I see something that deserves a compliment then I provide it honestly.
The second question is a bit more complicated. I may offer a few more compliments to someone I'm interested in, I think that some may see this as insecurity or over compensating, but that's how I am.
Offering false compliments just isn't my thing.
A compliment given any way but honestly is no longer a compliment.
Not always. If I meet someone and I'm not really interested in them but they're an acquaintance, I'll more easily give compliments on things they're clearly proud of. I'd rather make them feel good and proud of their seemingly ridiculous shoes or hair than give a purely honest opinion. On one hand I consider that my opinion isn't the definitive line on fashion while on the other I'm always impressed that people are willing to take a bold chance on something they like.
If I'm complimenting a personality trait, hobby, or profession I'm typically more honest because that tends to generate more back-and-forth conversation. If I say I'm super impressed that someone studies seat belt durability, we may end up actually discussing it and then I'm fucked.
If this is a real friend or someone I'm genuinely interested in knowing better, I'll only compliment what I truly appreciate. I don't want to start off a friendship or relationship with false pretense that will eventually come back around and then my credibility is damaged. I will however usually have a few things I can compliment to generate conversation because if I can't, why would I be interested in this person in the first place?
I will compliment people, even those I don't know. I always try to find something nice about someone to compliment them on but sometimes that is easier said than done.
I really don’t compliment often. I always thought giving compliments were kind of insulting. Idk, I guess I’m weird. I think I perceive people’s usage of complimenting as a manipulative tool. I need to break myself of that, but some others need to stop dishing them out like Halloween candy.
I use compliments as an icebreaker but I make sure they're genuine compliments.
I won't tell someone I like their earrings if I don't. I'll find something about them to compliment that is earnest.
Likewise I dislike generic compliments given to myself. "Wow your eyes are beautiful" I know they're genuinely complimenting me on something they really like about my physical appearance, but online it always feels less genuine and more 'I want your body'.
In person it's different, because I can see the expression people have, but I dunno, I guess I just have a weird inability to take compliments