In light of my previous post, I may be traveling soon to attend a service. I usually avoid these types of events as I don’t understand why people want to be displayed when they are dead, or even closed casket. Not to mention, approaching the casket, people touching or kissing the body. To me that’s the physical presence. Your memories are what live. Plus, eww. Funerals as well. Why are we watching this casket be lowered to the ground? To ensure the finality of death? And you'd think the earth has run out of earth to place body after body in it year after year, but still we re-event ways to dispose of bodies due to perhaps “religious” reasons? But I digress. Are you one to attend wakes and/or funerals?
Though it is a body after death, but a loss cannot be understood the way it is.
just imagine.. after a death in a family, without displaying, will it be OK to dispose the body.
being religious is different from being loving..
and I argue the final rights to be done as per the wish of the demised person.
Everyone mourns differently. I don't begrudge people touching the body. Even elephants in the wild mourn their dead loved ones with touching etc.
Cremation is also on the rise as a choice by a huge percent. I used to think cremation was "icky" when younger but have had a change of heart, environmental reasons, ridiculous cost of a burials these days...
Whenever possible I attend ceremonies for deceased loved ones to support those left in their wake, and there is that whole "closure" thing some people need. YMMV
I did it once in support of my first best friend when I was young, and once two years ago when a friend had committed suicide. I haven't formed any real opinion of it yet. I'll go to them either as support for a close friend, or for myself, unless I find a reason not to I suppose. There was an open casket for both of them. I went nowhere near the person I didn't know, and went up to my friend. I touched him out of curiosity. It was...weird lol. He didn't even look quite right because he'd shot himself in the head and so they had to like hide the weirdness in the back of his head by sort of smushing his head into the pillow...not to mention the suit, cuz he was not that kind of guy. I was mad for him lol, he wouldn't have wanted to be caught dead (haha) in a suit. It's a way of grieving. I got closure by seeing his body lying there, certainly. I won't deny that a few times there has been...definitely some sort of energy around his grave. Not for a good year or more, though. I went to the funeral as well, just for finality I guess - my best friend needed it, for sure. Idrk about myself, but that's not really important. I probably would have just gone to the wake if it was just me though. I mean, the ceremony was alright, though definitely religious as he and his parents were, and there was praying that me and my friend stayed out of both in the church and I /think/ (I don't remember the whole thing all that well, as I was more concerned with my friend; the poor guy was just bawling his eyes out in the church > at the grave site...the non-religious parts of it were nice, though. Just very fond memories and how many and greatly people loved him...he was that big teddy bear kind of guy. He was over six foot and I think right around 300 pounds. Heart of gold. They had to have six, maybe seven guys carry him out, and they struggled lol...aw, I made myself a little sad xD Anywho, so yeah, it's basically subjective.
I don't mind if I do but not really care for the ceremonies or even looking the corpse. I believe the dead no longer in that form so why bother. Has to be somebody very close that I can not get away from not attending. Since I been into shoes lately my joke now is to send me off, similar to that photo below... Displaying my finest shoes. I respect the memory of the departed but...
I try to be there for my friends in their time of misery. That extends to their family. In high school a friend passed away and I went to the funeral because he'd have wanted me to be there for his mother and his siblings. It was traumatic and horrible and I hated every moment of it. I don't think I brought him peace by being there either. I know I brought him peace in life because he knew I'd be there for his family. Since then, I have been to more than enough funerals, but I stand by the reasoning. I don't say I'm sorry for anyone's loss or any hogwash about better places. I say "What can I do to help?" I have picked people up, installed a car stereo, bought plastic utensils, bought soda and countless other meaningless, trivial things that I have been thanked for years later. A funeral is for the living and out of respect for my friends, I will be there for their living loved ones.
Only of people, I care about. The funeral is for the living not the deceased. It is to provide comfort and allow the grief to be shared.
I don't like funeral services. I have made it known that I am to be cremated with no service. Do as you will with the ashes are my instructions. If people want to get together and reminisce, that's okay as long as it's their choice.
I'll avoid them as much as possible. Oddly, the last few I've been to were all parents of friends and I went out of my regard for them and for moral support. The funerals for those who've died in my immediate family have all been out of state and not being able to travel has been the perfect excuse not to go. No one in my family expects to see me at those things anyway. It gives them all something to talk about, which is fine with me. If they're talking about me, they're leaving someone else alone.
As many have said funerals and wakes are for the living left behind. I would attend to support and comfort them. Thankfully I do not need to go to many, they are all rituals to help people accept and let go of the departed.
Guess that the one I will definitely attend will be mine.