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Does asking a co worker for a date list as a sexual harassment

Just curious about grounds for sexual harassment in large companies. How much should guys or gals be affraid of past relationships?

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By BucketlistBob8
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23 comments

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11

It depends, in my opinion. Is the person constantly bugging you, distracting you from your work and constantly making inappropriate comments? If not and it is just out of the blue it isn't considered sexual harassment in my opinion. But if you're constantly being creepy about it and won't take no for an answer it is definitely a form of harassment!

6

It's fine, as long as it's not against company policy, and risking both jobs.

Harassment occurs when one party is doing something the other party DOES NOT WANT.

@Kreig True

5

Ok if the company allows it. Some don't.

3

It depends on the rules, work place environment, and some other factors but asking a coworker out on a date usually wouldn't be sexual harassment. It's harassment if you continue to ask until it causes duress. It could also be harassment depending on HOW you ask. I'm fairly certain "Hey slut! Let me take that fine ass of yours too Hooters for wings and motorboat you in a parking lot." Would be a quick way to fill up a sexual harassment bingo card.

3

That is two different questions.

Asking a co-worker for a date is only harassment if the co-worker refused and then was pursued to the point of distress.

Past relationships in a work environment can be a problem when the relationship ended badly.

Betty Level 7 Jan 8, 2018
3

Can you not ask your co worker out for a drink? Seems innocent enough?

Sacha Level 7 Jan 8, 2018

seems innocent but things can get complicated fast even if both parties behave.

Oh oh.

3

Your selections are too limited. Are the employees equal levels, is one in the chain of command of the other. It's not black and white, yes or no. There are a few shades of gray in there. If you want a great perspective on workplace harassment read the archives at Askamanager.com Fabulous website of all things workplace related.

Thank you.

2

People are becoming anti-people. While am not dismissing real victims if sexual abuse,much of sexual harassment voice have turned into misandrism or misandrists. We are now scared that soon breast feeding boys will be accused of sexual harassment. That's how bad it has become. At the same time, these voices are jeopardizing real victims of sexual violence.

2

People are becoming anti-people. Whilebam not dismissing real victims if sexual abuse,much of sexual harassment voice have turned into misandrism or misandrists. We are now scared that soon breast feeding boys will be accused of sexual harassment. That's how bad it has become.

I've noticed this double standard too. I reckon you might have heard of sjws?

2

I say it is ok, many places I have worked disagree, I have dated co-workers, my ex wife was my boss/supervisor when I was 16.Later I was 2IC for my company and dated the CEOs personal assistant, we ended up living together briefly. But these new harassment rules, last I looked into it, our union movement here is all down hard on harassment, but stated clearly they did not mean to infringe on peoples rights to enter into interpersonal relationships, or words to that effect. Many places I have worked are where people met their spouses.

2

As long as its just the once it's just fine

2

That sounds ilke a question for your boss.

2

That would be ludicrous. Because you attracted to someone and never know they may be to you what harm would that be as long as you did it in a civilized manner with digitiny.

azzow2 Level 8 Jan 8, 2018
1

It's not against HR rules at work when 2 employee are on equal footing; however, it is strongly discouraged.

Personally, I keep work and personal life completely separate. I have people I consider work friends in that we're friendly within the work setting but never socialize outside of the work setting.

PhoebeCat Level 7 Jan 24, 2018

I hear you....goid advice.

1

I would agree with most people here that a single request for a date isn't considered sexual harassment. However if you are constantly being badgered by the same guy then it is.

1

To me it is not OK. While I do not consider asking for a date as "sexual harassment", I consider the pursuit of romantic relationships at work highly unprofessional and generally do not tolerate it, nor do it myself. Once I liked a coworker, but stayed up to my principles and did not ask her on a date until one of us left that company.

blago84 Level 5 Jan 9, 2018
1

I'd advise against it.

Technically, it's not sexual harassment if everyone is okay with whatever is going on. The thing that makes it harassment is if it's "unwelcome conduct." And whether it's "unwelcome" or not may not be obvious to the hopeful suitor, because the person being courted may feel some sort of incentive or pressure to go along with it.

Even if the overtures are welcomed by the person, it's also conduct that will quickly become known to co-workers, who can feel uncomfortable about it in a lot of ways. They can complain about it too.

And that's all assuming that this is between people who are lateral to one another -- no one has any direct power over the other. Supervisors should be VERY wary of asking subordinates out on dates, even subordinates who are not their direct reports.

Then there's the issue of what happens if you date for a while but it doesn't work out and there's a split-up. Hard feelings often result from things like that. Those hard feelings must not be taken in to the workplace and it can be next to impossible not to have them when the person is right there in the next cubicle.

I know people do meet folks they date at work. I know it does sometimes work out. But it's a very risky thing to pursue.

Yep... seen that.

1

You have GOT to be kidding me?! Isn't that the most common and natural way to meet someone?! Or is anything outside the internet sexual harassment these days? What an absolute joke.

Zoidburg Level 5 Jan 9, 2018
1

Simply asking isn't harassment.

1

My brother's experience. He was listed, and counseled, and had comment placed on his permanent record for sexual harassment. His offence? "Do you want to come to the pub with us?" [indicating whole office] "If you come you'll have to change as they don't let hi-vis or work boots in." Clearly a failure by management, but one that his accuser had a history of exploiting.

Geeze...

1

If you ask and they say, "no",from that point on if you then ask more than to let them know if they ever change their mind (one time), it likely could become a problem. No means no, and it up to the person asked to change the answer from that point on.

1

I just try to grab everyone's butt. That way my harassment is not of a sexually biased nature.

1

As others have said, a little too vague. Asking once, probably not. Still, the bottom line is hitting on people other than in bars or mixers is problematic. Unless they are CLEARLY signalling interest.

Druvius Level 7 Jan 8, 2018
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