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Is your idea of love over romanticized?

I have wondered at times whether or not my standards for love are over the top when it comes to how I want it to be or how I view it. I look for passion in a relationship but have a feeling that it won't last forever. I don't think it will be like in the movies so I don't have that failure of expectations. I experience emotions with such intensity that I wonder if my partners have actually experienced anything similar. What kinds of things have you found that actually meet your definition of love and what has not?

By Levi_Hinton7
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17 comments

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1

I think of love as surrender. When I feel secure enough I'll let go and abandon my censor and critic. Of course, as knowledge grows, falling out of love can happen or not.Too romantic? You tell me.

1

In my book love without romance is not love and also romance do not need to be reserved only for love. I am romantic regardless of the term of endearment. Romance is a Modus Operandis... love is a feeling. I operate in a Romantic way and does not need to take me to Love.

2

I love MGM musicals.

I consider that a complete answer.

phil21 Level 7 Jan 10, 2018
1

Severely under romanticized. If a man pays for his half of dinner on a first date, I think I owe him something.

Alicia_J Level 4 Jan 10, 2018
1

Definitely my idea of love is over-romanticized. I am a perfectionist in most fields, and love makes not exception. And I definitely do not mean only physical here - I am looking for a perfect match intellectual, emotional, physical, sexual and so on.

blago84 Level 5 Jan 9, 2018
1

VERY!!! but this is speaking as a happy, old bachelor. My loves are many, my regrets are few!

The greatest regrets are the sometimes bitter endings if one wanted me to "unbachelor" or somesuch.

There are benefits to working with some of the most beautiful performers and models in the world, even when its all business and entirely platonic. "Not" is definitely a bonus but, in the end, I entirely overly romanticize the art we create.

2

I think many of us have fallen for the idealized notion of soul mates, and love being "forever". It's taken me a long time, but I've determined that love is transitory. People conceal their true intentions and personalities much of the time because they're insecure about their authentic selves. Or they're sociopaths. If/When they're exposed for who they really are, the relationship usually ends, most times badly. I believe that not all the people who come into our lives are meant to remain in our lives. Especially romantic partners. Hopefully, we learn something from each relationship, even if it's "well, I'm not doing THAT again!" Sometimes knowing what you don't want is more important than knowing what you do want.

KKGator Level 9 Jan 8, 2018
4

For me it's like "Looking for love in Alderaan places!"

Jedi jokes! LUVUM!

Hymns of Jediism

1

I think I’m with you… Ultimately, I’d want a loving partnership, but would expect first attraction to be a true romance. Recently got to know a very attractive women who’d divorced her Dr. husband. She honestly described her ‘next husband’ being better vetted, allowing her to feel more secure within his resources, then lamented the settlement she’d just received from the divorce..

I was saddened and disappointed… Then described that I was looking for love, not security.. Maybe that’s what gets me in trouble, but if a 30 year marriage followed by a 3 year mistake is what I get for following my heart ...I’m OK smile001.gif ..Her? She’s found ‘a dentist’ smile009.gif

Varn Level 8 Jan 8, 2018
1

I'm totally over it. I don't know that I've ever really been "in love" (though I've had LTRs), and I'm not sure I even believe that "in love" is a real thing. Infatuation, attraction, lust, chemistrt, without a doubt. But "in love"? What does that even mean?

I'm not interested, anymore. My sex drive went supernova a couple years ago and then it fizzled out. I've finally come to understand that my chances of finding someone with compatible enough values for me to want to have a "relationship" is small enough to be trivial. And I honestly don't care. I'm not missing anything. I'm not lonely.

I don't think my idea of love was ever romanticisized, because I never had any kind of codified expectation. I took what came. I never had a checklist.

Now I just don't care, and I'm actually glad. I got 99 problems, but...

2

???? Fish Love - YouTube

Rudy1962 Level 9 Jan 8, 2018

Great analogy, but the wrong example using the stock footage of Kissing gouramis. They are not kissing, but having an aggressive showdown. It means that one is trying to establish dominance over the other. Hmm, on the other hand . . . haha

LOL I just uploaded that video because I've seen it before. Never seen that ending before. Kind of interesting.......At first I didn't know what you were talking about so I had to watch this particular video of "fish love".

2

I think infatuation gets confused with love, so, for example, if someone woos me without really knowing me, then I know it's just infatuation and/or horniness. With love comes friendship and an understanding that you don't stay high (on neurochemicals) all the time, that the lows are normal, and that passion can be rekindled if both cares to put the work into it.

[neuro.hms.harvard.edu]

1

RomCom Syndrome

2

At 57 yrs I now know that my idea was over the top...total surrender to the one I love...guess what is foolish and not realistic...did I find it, yep,did not last...now no more love for me...

3

Love is so hard to define. You think you find it - you're on cloud nine-its dream like. You have intense physical and sexual attraction and can't keep your hands off each other. You're calling each other, texting and saying sweet nothings until reality sets in. I'd like to find a healthy love-one that is balanced-its a rare thing.

1

Communication is paramount. If they have the need to lie to you to protect your feelings hope that they can justify the lie with a deep explanation. Commonality if you can relate to experiences. Something important to remember is to not say (I did that) include a scenario .

azzow2 Level 8 Jan 8, 2018

I had women that told me "lie to me". But they could handle the lie. They just like to hear the lie.

@GipsyOfNewSpain They were checking your creativity .

3

Passion does fade, but friendship can grow deeper and sweeter.

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