Ok I really dirty one...
How many perverts does it take to screw in a lighbulb? Just one, but it takes the whole ER team to get the bulb back out.

How many friend zoned guys does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They'll just compliment it and complain it won't screw

Narcissists? One. They hold the bulb and let the world revolve around them.

How many surrealist painters does it take to change a light bulb? A: A fish....

Not a joke... true experience. First time I met the grandmother of my GF that eventually became my wife. It was 3 generations of those ladies, grandma, mother, gf. They asked me to change a light bulb. Took two bulbs because I dropped the first one. Grandma was "Oh dear he can not even screw a lightbulb, do you really want anything to do with him?" Every time they could they will remind me of the experience. Never was asked to change a lightbulb by grandma or mother again, the jokes they came in with about me. My experience.

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. The problem is getting the flies into the light bulb.

An old one:

How many Microsoft Engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Bill Gates will have darkness declared the new standard.

Question: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: Just one, but the light bulb has to want to change.

Oddly enough, I was the 1978 winner of the Village Voice light bulb joke contest.

How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?

Don't worry about it, I'll sit here in the dark...

Q: How many atheists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They're never in the dark.
A: None. Atheists question whether it's really light anyway.
A: None. Atheists never "see the light" anyway do they ?

How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.

How many republicans it takes is none, they will never see the light,

Glad someone can tell jokes-terrible at it.

How many Englishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to say "It's filamentary!", and the other to get off his lumen arse!

How many safety inspectors does it take to change a lightbulb ? Four. One to change it and three to hold the ladder.

Of course, we could stick with a religious topic...

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.
Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against
spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three
committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad
and fried chicken.
Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the
drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or
completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or
tulip bulb. Church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring
bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review
church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?

Question: How many moms does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: Don't you worry about me, Dear, I'll just sit here alone in the dark.

Question: How many Conservatives does it take t change a light bulb?

Answer: None. They'll just sit in the dark and blame Obama.

How many women does it take to change a light bulb? Can't be done, women can't change.

University of Iowa freshman? None, it's a sophomore course.

Hahaha, brilliant!