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Impossible relationship

Is it possible for an Agonist/Atheist/Free thinker/Humanist to be in a serious, romantic relationship with a Christian?
Every time I asked this question, the answer is "no." But that answer is ALWAYS given by the Christian side of the argument.
I am respectful of anyone's beliefs, so why can't two individuals of different beliefs have a long term relationship?

Ana305 4 Aug 1
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44 comments (26 - 44)

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0

The one time i dated a seriously religious person, he could not help somehow bringing up god or the bible in every conversation we had. i was fine with him having different views than me, but it obviously was not ok with him.

0

Yes, it's absolutely possible. I have no qualms about dating real Christians, as long as they don't try to convert me.

0

Its worth a try - anything is worth a try, sometimes you just have to test a theory!

1

I had recently met a very nice woman who was interested in going out with me, we began to talk to each other on the phone and the subject of denomination and religion came up, I told her I hadn't practice religion in years because I became a agnostic, she told me we wouldn't be a good match because I didn't go to church or believed in God. I was very surprised at first, but considering her indoctrination I realized I probably need to find someone secular.

0

Sure it can work, but the odds aren't in favor of it. We obviously don't have concrete odds, but in my experiences and what I've heard from couples, it's a slim chance. When people are so entrenched in ideologies and someone challenges them, even in a non-hostile way, it's like you're challenging their very being and self. They have a set of preconceived notions about who you will be too. It depends on how religious they are though. If someone just believes in God, but doesn't go to church and has never read the bible then sure there's a great chance you can get along. If they read the bible and go to church and are around others who do the same, then their ideologies are being reinforced. That goes for anyone. It's probably why so many people on both sides of the political paradigm are always at each other's throats. Ever hear of a successful relationship with a hardcore conservative and a hardcore liberal? This is probably on a tangent, but ever hear of a successful relationship between a hardcore conservative and a transgendered person? Those probably don't even start, let alone flourish into a successful relationship.

0

Compassion is key. Find immutable truths in mother nature. Truth confirms truth

0

I was in a 12 year marriage. It's possible but very hard. When the lifestyle is not the same it makes it very difficult to live in the same household.

0

Not impossible at all. Simply a matter of deciding whether or not to make it a major issue, and being able to respect one another's differences. And there always are some !

0

I wouldn't think it would be impossible. Heck, there are people in relationships that have differing political views. You can disagree with someone's beliefs and still have a wonderful relationship. Your in the relationship with the person, not their views. There are other things to connect with besides religious and political views.

2

I think it’s not really feasible honestly. I dated a deeply religious woman once. Her family and friends started reminding her that she was living in sin and that kinda crap. Ultimately her religion won out over love and man did I suffer for it.

PaulD Level 5 Aug 2, 2018
0

There are so many other challenges in maintaining a long term relationship, why make it even harder? You want to increase the odds of success, not decrease them.

0

People can make it work if both sides respect each other and have strong boundaries. If you can let them be them and they can let you be you, it can work.

I never had a relationship with someone who wasn't a believer until recently. I really like that in my current relationship. It's more honest. But two different religions and even theist and non-theist can work. Before her it mostly worked. It definitely wasn't religion that ended my previous relationships.

1

I don't see why not... but then I don't insist others believe as I do. It's always the Xians on the dating sites who tell me "this wouldn't work out, even though you seem nice, because you're an atheist." Never me telling them, "You seem nice, but I can't date a Christian".

1

The problem I see is not only do you have to overcome the differences between the two of you, but also deal with a religious family dynamic. First, the believer probably has to be a fairly liberated believer. If they are weekly attenders of church, bible studies and other church functions and you choose not to go at all, it could be an issue. As a non believer, are you OK with your children being baptized? Will you attend the service? Will you go to holiday services with their family; church weddings and funerals? Is your partner going to be all right with going to all these events on their own if you are not willing to spend time in that environment? My first and second wife were not Atheists, but neither were they really church going people, mainly holidays and events. I was willing to go for certain activities to keep family harmony. Besides, the more times I have been in church, the more it reinforces how silly the whole thing is, so I had no fear of being converted! ?

1

Depends on your standards.

I believe a positive relationship should be based on mutual respect and honesty. As an atheist, I can not respect a person who bases their belief system on the dishonest premise that faith (belief without evidence) is a methodology to determine (Truth) things that are testable and demonstrated to be correct with evidence.

However,

I am aware of an atheist that is married to a a theist. - - for many years.

0

I think it can happen, but it's unlikely and takes a lot of work on both sides. Often times religious debate can become explosive so you have to treat it delicately and realize that it's someone you care about. Might even be best just to agree to disagree and not talk about it.

0

It's entirely possible. Back when I was dating on OKCupid, they had a fun study going on. It showed that the two partners' religions actually mattered less than their respective attitudes towards religions. Two "Very Serious About It" Christians were actually less likely to have a successful relationship than two people of differing faiths that were both "Laughing About It". So yeah, it's absolutely possible.

0

Don't know. Never tried. And I won't. I prefer my partners to be logical and intelligent.

0

If there's a genuine respect for each of course it's possible. If one side or the other tries to impose their beliefs (or lack of) it's a control and/or ignorant thing not a god, religion or anything else thing.

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