When I was married, I called her mother-by-law.

I call my mother-in-law by her first name and wouldn't change it even if my wife wanted me to.

Both of my wives' mothers had died before we married, though I knew my first wife's mother prior to our marriage and her death. No, I had nothing to do with their deaths. I called my first wife's mother Mrs. (insert last name here), since I was a teenager when I knew her.

It’s about your comfort not hers.
She’s not your mom.
Call her whatever you want.
My ex MIL has a family nickname I called her that
Would never call her mom
But that’s up to you

It took me a long time to have a good relationship with my mother-in-law, years, but I just never could call her "mom". She had a lot of wonderful qualities, but she was not the warmest of women, and fairly judgemental. My father in law, on the other hand, I had a wonderful relationship, and started calling him "Dad" almost right away. Sadly, after having been married to her son for 37 years, she became my EX-mother-in-law, and we have NO relationship now. I hope for you that you can develop a good relationship with your m-i-l, and perhaps come up with a special pet name for her!!

I called my first MIL Mom because she was like a mom to me.
My late husbands mom I never called her anything at all. She was not in my hubbys life for most of his life and they were not close . Just do what feels right to you .

Deceased

Dead. She was the MIL from some evil place.

My poor daughter, such a sweet person is stuck with the BITCH FROM HELL as her MIL.She puts everyone down, behind their backs even her own son and grandkids. She's manipulative, devious, a racist, a loud mouthed bully. And she recently moved into their quest house living there in the winter. She scowls at her own 2 year old bi-racial greatgranddaughter. I scowl back at her when I catch her doing that. It's my Great granddaughter, too and precious to me.

She and her son (my daughter's husband) argue constantly. It's not going to last thru the 1st winter, then she'll hussle her sorry ass back to W. VA. Oh and she claims to be A devout Christian.

Thanks for letting me rant a bit. I just suffered thru four days of her incessant gossip, hateful put downs of her own flesh and blood.

Draw the Line in the Sand.

Nothing. I ignore her as I walk by her and Faux news is perpetually on.

First name

Before, during, and after the marriage, I called her and my father-in-law by their first names.

Deceased.

Dead. When she was still alive, I called her Virginia and Mom. Loved that woman a bundle and a half.

What does she wants to be called, that is the real question..... Try all options, figure it out.

Being called Mom by someone not related is a super high honor imo and has to feel right to both.
I would never insist on such a thing in that position but that's me.

Since my mom passed away, I asked my mother-in-law if I could call her Mom. I know she is not my real Mom, but it makes me feel closer to her,

Dead! She has been gone quite a few years now, but she was the coldest of women when she was alive. I called her mother when she was alive as that is what my husband called her. My own mother was always Mum.

In the beginning , if I was speaking with my boyfriend , I'd say , your Mom . Or if speaking to someone else , his Mom . Occasionally , by her name . By the time we'd separated , I was working at purging her from my mind altogether . I can remember later , when I found out she'd died , sitting at my desk singing in my mind , "Ding dong the witch is dead , which old witch , the wicked witch ."
I hereby apologize to all witches . I actually enjoy witches . They are wise , intelligent , and often self educated .

I called her Linda her real name was Marie. I just liked fucking with her.

Generally I called my inlaws by their first names. They were kind of standoffish, and the daughters in law were not on the same level as the sons.

Ma'am

1st name seems to be the way to go here anything that makes you uncomfortable should not be up for discussion

She is actually like a second Mom to me..but she is 92.....so out of respect for this grand and wise old lady..I stick to Mrs Clinch ..her Surname.

Dead?