We’re not living in the dark ages. People co-habiting is the norm. Marriage should be avoided. Ruins everything.

Absolutely, as long as legal steps are taken in financial and property matters.

I'm past all that but wouldn't rule out either.

For all of the forementioned reasons I'm a marriage only person.
In my opinion it's selfish not to think of the children.. these are lives and souls ?

I don't see marriage as a requirement. Was with someone for seven years, lived with them for six. If anything, it becomes an obstacle. Of course, that doesn't mean you cannot get married eventually. George R. R. Martin and his partner, for example, waited 30 years. Never let the expectations of society guide your life. Do what is right for you when it is right.

Marriage may not be necessary for the relationship itself. (A piece of paper falls apart in hot water, but it's the strong commitment and devotion that make the marriage.) HOWEVER, for finances, raising children, taxes, social security, decisions in the operating room, etc., that piece of paper holds a lot of power and security.

As a stay at home mom, married 29 years, I invested 20 years raising my kids, working from home, making far less than my husband. Though we divorced many years ago, I am glad I will have the option of using 50% of his social security benefits when I retire, as they are higher than taking 100% of my own.

First of all, if you are the parent you don't get to just walk away from the kids the law has something to say about that whether or not you're legally married to the other parent. Marriage does not prevent a parent from taking off. My oldest brother is a deadbeat dad. Being legally married did not stop him from disappearing on his wife and 5 kids. The working issues need to be resolved but rarely does any woman stay at home with the kids anymore. Who can afford it? Why shouldn't dad stay home if mom can earn more money and support the family? Property ownership can be done with two individuals not connected by marriage. College for the kids, again something to be discussed before you get them started. There is no real reason to be married in this day and age. I will never remarry, but I'm a long way from considering more kids.

"Is living together an acceptable alternative to marriage?"

Don't married people live together, usually?

Or you could be over analysing this?

So.. child support is filed for whether there is a marriage or not. The biggest issue is the ability to make decisions for your SO in the event on an accident. This is where power of attorney’s work. My brother and his SO have been together 10 years. They bought a house together and have a very strong relationship.

There are roughly equal pros and cons to being married or just living together. IMO with just under half of first marriages and well over half of second or third marriages failing why bother?

[cdc.gov]

it seems like married or not that kind of separation is hell for everyone except the lawyers.

Acceptable to whom ? Who cares ?

All the same issues you stated, can occur whether or not people are married.

All the questions you posed are easily dealt with. Legal papers can be drawn to cover all those things. Marriage is wholly unnecessary. In the event of a break-up, there would already plans in place.

Before marrying someone, I would prefer we live together for at least 1 year (more would be better). Need to be around each other when one or the other is sick, tired, grumpy, angry, sad; find out or exposed more to each other's "bad" habits and living styles. I would rather go into marriage knowing as much about other person as I could. If we both accept each other after living together for a few years, then hopefully the marriage will last and we won't get divorced over something stupid like "irreconcilable differences" that a bunch of celebrities get divorced over because they marry each other too quickly. But even if neither of us wants to get married, that's fine too.

Whether you are married or not doesn't determine how well the relationship will be or how you will treat your kids. Married and unmarried people cheat on each other or leave one another; some people whether married or not make terrible parents. So it really depends on the people who are in the relationship if they want to get married or not; doesn't matter to me.

My wife (we were married by a drunk judge in the back room of our favorite wine bistro) lived together for over a decade. We NEVER thought it was temporary. Marriage was decided on an evaluation of income tax return scenarios. My opinion: you're a couple or you're not. A marriage certificate is just a piece of paper.

As I see it living together only substitutes one potential set of problems for another.I have known of two couples that have lived together and when they separated they both had numerous problems regarding children,money,property,retirement income,child support,children's education, medical expenses and denial of visitation rights for the children. Atty fees were no different than going through a divorce. So why not bite the bullet do not make the children bastards and work on having a wonderful marriage.