As a mandatory reporter in my state, if you told me this and I knew who you and they were, I would need to report them to the childline as potential child abusers.

For me it was always a question of having work to support myself, be able to afford an apartment, and so on. Once you do that, you’re independent.

I can't speak to the non-monogamy portion of this post but I will say that I absolutely agree that single people without children often get the short end of the stick. People with children get to opt out of certain work responsibilities because they need to go home and care for their children whereas us single people are expected to pick up the slack. It's not like I don't understand why, it just doesn't feel fair. I have dogs to take care of, you know?

Genessa has it right, I am happily married and in an open marriage, I never had children and now I'm too old, I still have people who try to tell me "It's never too late" or "You can always adopt" as if it's a requirement or something to be a human female. The most important thing for that is deciding how you want to live your life and how much bearing you want to allow other people's opinions and feelings to have on your life and how you live it. People will always judge, but you can choose how much weight you want to give those judgements.
As for your nephew crying "for no reason" he sees a reason to cry, so, don't judge, he's a child, you're not in his head. It sounds like it might be time for you to find your own place, I don't know your situation or age but if you can find a place away from them, it would probably benefit you.
I think the word "privilege" is overused and has become severely watered down, it is those couples right to choose how they want to run their relationships, they are not required to include you just because you want to be included, it sounds like you're looking for extra, undue consideration in someone else's relationship. You may want to consider taking more time to get to know a person or couple before getting involved next time, it helps to know a person as well as you can before diving head first into a relationship with them.

You cite two different issues. one is that open marriages turn out not to be as open as they promise to be. the other is that society expects us to be married and considers single women as inferior. i will address the second issue first. live your life the way you feel is right and to hell with those who want you to conform. be an example that disproves what people think, if you care what they think. as for the first issue, marriage may or may not be a privileged state, but the situation of open marriages is not proof of that. if you want to deal with couples instead of individuals, then you will have to deal with jealousy, and hierarchy. it will always be there. i don't know a cure for it. it's human nature. marriage may be a societal construct, but human nature isn't.

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People are lazy and selfish and use things as excuses. I think if I was you, I would have murdered someone in your family lol. Either that or I would disown them for being schmucks.

My perspective, marriage is just slavery under sexual contract. Obsolete concept probably a result from the first agriculture revolution.

I had a similar problem, where I got absolutely no respect from extended family because I was single and without children. I moved a few states away, and then all the way to the coast. That solved that problem, as none of them can be arsed to contact me.

The only solution I see for you is for you to find a way to earn enough money to live away from your family.

I only read the title, but yeah.

"The world of non-monogamous relationships" has to cope with jealousy and competitiveness and other aspects of being human, same as everyone else. Jealousy is generally regarded as the main challenge for polyamorists. I am not surprised. Monogamy is complex enough, thank you very much. I think people should be free to have such arrangements if they want them, but the notion that all problems will be solved by making your intimate relations more, rather than less, complex strikes me as naive.

As for how to have your own agency contrary to societal expectations ... not to be glib, but do your own thing and don't give a damn what people think. You're already self aware enough to realize you have no maternal ambitions or needs to fulfill for example, but the advantages and freedom that go with that will be canceled out by being constantly angry and frustrated and abreacting to other people's expectations. So you have to become truly indifferent. Don't expect society to accept you for violating its expectations. Just leave their problems for them to deal with, and don't allow them to make their problems, your problems. It's that simple ... and that hard.

There are 50 ways to leave your lover, or your situation as the case may be. Choose one and don't look back.

In the end, nobody pays our bills. If you can afford hundreds of thousands of dollars for a child after a costly divorce- go for it...

First and foremost you need to have respect for yourself. No matter the surroundings you can can control how you feel within. I know you have a lot of issues going on so I'm not going to pretend that I understand your situation. You need to get out of the situations you are in. You need to convince yourself that you are worthy of that.

What worked for me:

1. Respect starts with yourself and getting yourself away from situations where you feel disrespected.
2. Move at least 500 miles away from your family.
3. Have a job and your own place.
4. If someone doesn't pay your bills their opinion doesn't matter.

'Hope you learn your lesson!