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Happily single—or not?

I know there are plenty of single people in this community, but I’m curious to know how happy everyone is about being single.
For instance I’m happily single, because I treasure my time alone and my freedom. However, I sometimes miss having a partner to share my day with.
What do you like/not like about being single?

RoadGoddess 7 Jan 19

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81 comments (51 - 75)

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1

Well, I am comfortable being alone and going out in public on my own. I’m not a loner though. I grew up in a big family so that has some effect. It’s been awhile since I’ve not been single, which explains why I’m here.

1

Exactly what you said... that's it... Now... what to do about it... there's the rub... ain't it?

1

I enjoy my alone time and freedom too, but it can get lonely sometimes. Certain things you can share with a significant other that you can't do by yourself or with friends.

1

I miss the sex every morning and night, but that quickly faded after a year. I think it may be impossible for me to find a girl that can keep up and not need cuddles all the time, I can’t stand laying in bed doing nothing, wake up and move.

1

Happily single,mainly because there's a lot less stress involved with being single. The biggest drawback is less sex, but at my age, that's not a huge deal.

1

There are many things I like about being single, which has been by choice over the last 7 years. The pros far outweigh the cons. But when I was in a relationship, I did enjoy having that one special person in my life. However, in my experience, I found that eventually (after the honeymoon period), my partners wanted a mother and a maid rather than a lover and best friend. Probably a cultural thing (Bible Belt). While I do like being a "domestic goddess" (making a home warm), I'm over being "the help".

1

I also treasure my time alone and my freedom but hate feeling lonely, perhaps because my cat and dog don't speak English. One's Spanish/Mexican(Chihuahua) and the other was feral so she may never speak. 😮

This may come off wrong no matter how I try to say it, but I miss having someone to share the burden with. With my ex I thought I shouldered her burden well because her's was easier on me than it was on her and I hoped she could shoulder part of mine that was easier for her than me. Ultimately I was proven wrong after 9 years(different rant) but I honestly feel we cannot go through life utterly alone.

Despite my introversion I see the value in teamwork, groups and life partners. Being single and alone I feel the weight of everything I am not pressing down on me and wish there was someone that was those things could help me and maybe they lacked those things that I am so that I could help them too...

I've heard from someone I dated that she learned not to need anyone to complete her, and I get that, but I think maybe what I feel is different, I am me 100% and don't need anyone to make me a better more whole/complete me, but even me at 100% is not able to get through this cruel world alone.

@SilverDollarJedi, agreed, and maybe I need some rephrasing in my initial comment but I feel like you get it. I can do it alone, but it sucks major ass to do so and a lot seems like it gets compromised in the process which raises the question; did I really do it alone? Having someone to help ease all that is really just a bonus.

@SilverDollarJedi, you have so much in that comment that I just picked and responded to what stood out for me tonight;

"If I am correct you are saying is success really success if you have no one to share it with?"

No I meant more like; I am the CEO of a company but no wife, had I married I might have been the jazz musician I always wanted to be.
In that example I succeeded 'relatively' speaking, but I did not succeed because I lacked the support to get there.

"That sounds selfish but I have had a lot of people in intimate relationships waste my time and energy in ways that were not fair and I simply won't let that happen anymore because my time and effort is too valuable to me."

Not selfish from my perspective because I feel the same with my last relationship, in hindsight of course, but now I am in a situation that perhaps a better partner would help me get to where I really want to be and not where I am heading just because alone it is within my means and power. (May be a bad analogy but I need a pack mule to ease a burden I find exhausting but they scoff at the weight of it, and in return I'd be their mule with a burden I find negligible as well but to them was unbearable)

"People wait until 2 months into a relationship that they have this or that problem with something you do or a belief you have, and then they expect you to sacrifice part of yourself to fit their personal needs."

For me that happened at 9 years and not 2 months so I feel I have a lot of wasted time with the wrong person, but then on reflection it was because that's who I was(perhaps still am)

"I will not try to change that person or persuade them"

Sadly, and you probably experienced this, it almost seems like people want you to try and change them or something. I encouraged and supported my ex without trying to change her but still she left me for someone who by her friends was trash, my own opinion is far worse but I try to be kind...

1

I have a friend that we were an item at one time over 8 years together including living together but been over 8 years since. While in Maryland/DC area... we go on friends dates. I may stay on her house, we go dinner, dancing and movies and some phone time but neither of us live on the phone. Once she start talking about her daily routine and the events of the day or evening. I feel like I don't need to hear all details. Just give me the end result. We do argue as couples still. And for each is the last serious relation. But does reminds me just because happens like that with her does not means that I won't find someone that I will find interesting every moment I am not a witness. So I love loneliness and being alone. I write, I create when lonely. It is my natural state even if I love cuddling and romance of one is not that romantic at all. It is a matter of finding the Right Person, that Unique Person that makes you jump that leap of faith into the abyss... Collective Freedom is the best freedom there is because you have a witness to validate your happiness. A witness to your life is the holy grail I seek but not every grail is holy to my heart.

@RoadGoddess From the moment we left the womb... is all about freedom since they cut the cord.

1

I like the independence, lack of the need to compromise and the absence of emotional drama. I miss the sex, intimacy, the regular adult conversation, mutual emotional support, the presence of another person sharing my life...
Happily single? Some times. Sometimes not. I’d like to have both, but I don’t think it’s possible.

1

its pretty almost not any better or worse than nearly ok.
ive been worse off tho.

1

I've been alone for longer than I'd like.
I'm hoping I can get back out there in the near future.

@RoadGoddess Thanks. 🙂

0

I am happily single if there isn't anyone I feel compelled to reveal my feelings for. Even then it has to be very compelling for me to say anything.
That is pretty rare as well so yeah I guess I am happily single mostly by choice...but also pretty newly single

0

For me, being single has never been a choice. So no, I am not happy about being single.
It is difficult to be happy when you are denied the choice of being able to be with someone who wants you in return, or ignored and left alone by those around you.

0

I feel the same way you do. I enjoy the pleasure of my own company and cherish solitude and freedom. But I'm so much fun that it would be a crime not to share all this awesomeness with somebody else now and then.

Deb57 Level 8 Sep 12, 2018
0

Cooking and eating meals alone is a drag. I recently met someone to spend time with but she has back pain and insomnia and only wants to see me when she's feeling up.When she's not, she goes incommunicado and that just doesn't make sense to me. So now I'm back to me,my dog and my cat.

0

I feel the same way you do about being single. However some day I hope to find a partner to spend the rest of my life with. Gender doesn't matter to me.

0

Depends. Am I having enough sex? Key criterion!

0

I keep telling myself I am — two bad marriages was a nightmare. But I miss the companionship. Kinda gave up on the whole marriage thing (or even romance), but I still miss some parts.

Kodij Level 5 Aug 13, 2018
0

I am not.

0

I would say we have a somewhat similar outlook.

A few years ago I was researching my home theater project and ran across a rather daunting problem many who posted were experiencing when putting together a room for acoustic considerations: speakers (size/placement, amps, bass traps acoustic dampening panels, etc. is a primary problem stressed was the need to strictly adhere to the WAF (Wife Acceptance Factor). Shortly thereafter I was downstairs plotting a ridiculously large cloth covered acoustic ceiling array with lights and was wondering if it would pass the WAF. . . Then, the sudden realization: - - DUH! I don’t have a WAF. The sky is the limit. I’ve peaced together a monstrosity project with over 25 speakers, including many that are 4’ in size, in a room with acoustic treatments that would likely not pass any WAF. The only objection I have had was a single guest wondering about a 4’ x’ 8’ cloth acoustic dampening panel filled with 8” of shredded blue jeans located above the 2nd row of elevated seating. She was NOT impressed as she could touch the black cloth of the acoustic treatment. For me the sound makes it all worth the while as the room resembles an anechoic chamber. This project (will never be completed) has taken hundreds of hours of planning and building and would likely not be in its current state if I had a woman to share my life.

When I go downstairs and place a blu-ray in a player to listen (I almost never run the projector without a crowd) to a movie, I greatly enjoy the experience. I don’t do that very often as I don’t seem to have not a lot of free time. I also enjoy a large variety of making things alone.

On a strange side note that more to the point answers your question: One reason I almost never watch movies in the theater alone is when the movie is over, to suddenly transition from an engaging, often 3d movie on a 205” screen with sounds that place you in the scene, with film characters in a fantasy world as those you are passively engaged with, to suddenly find yourself alone in huge black sound sucking room with seating for 21 and only light of a projector and an array of sound processing amplifiers and conditioners, is occasionally very lonely to the point that you can feel the cold pressing of emptiness on your skin. This doesn’t happen very often as I almost never run the projector alone for a feature film.

In short:

Likes:
Freedom,

Dislike:
Occasionally being alone. (at home I am almost always alone but I am not home much) Nobody to share life’s experiences: discussion etc.
Going to sleep and waking up alone.
Not having a partner to share the physical pleasures of life.

0

Yes, I like being single as I am free from naggings when I do not expect!! My time is my own.Lovely. But I do not mind meeting people of same mindset from time to time.

0

My life is my own. I've tried relationships and realize I'm not cut out for having someone around 24/7 and it seems in my experience, that men get more controlling when they believe they are committed to you. I like shutting my own door behind me and getting the quality alone time I need. I've never been a woman to 'need' a man in my life. Men are only a segment of one's life not the end all be all of it like some women seem to think.

0

Each has there own story. I'm happily single as I was the victim of domestic abuse. There are contact issues around one of my daughters which time, and my absolute stubborness, will resolve, if I have a faith it's in that.
The ongoing issue is one of trust and damage to my ability to be able to put my emotional trust in someone, not sure if this resolves or if I will just evolve differently to how i thought i might. I like to think I'm open to the possibility of another relationship but I'm not 100% sure of this.
That may all sound a bit heavy but it's the reason I'm single and for the most part enjoying the tranquility.

0

Much happier single , than when I was married .

0

I've been single quite a few years now but not alone, I have a teenager to keep me on my toes. I like not having anyone to answer to honestly. I'm also quite the idiot magnet so yeah, I'm probably going to stay single a while and that is quite alright with me right now.

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