let's be more like Iceland

The island country of 330,000 nestled in the North Atlantic is making big waves. No one under the age of 21 will be indoctrinated into any religion, sect, or cult. Iceland’s parliament, the Alþingi, passed the National Minimum Religious Indoctrination Act (NMRIA) overwhelmingly. No parent or caretaker may expose a person under the age of 21 to religion by bringing them to church, temple, or mosque. And no religious fables (The Great Flood, Passover, Mohamed riding on a Buraq) can be fostered onto young and impressionable minds.

The Logic Behind the National Minimum Religious Indoctrination Act
Two years ago Mothers Against Religion (MAR) started a grassroots campaign to raise the minimum age of religious consent to 21. Anna Einarsson is the founder and leader of the group. She explains how she came to realize religion is too dangerous for young minds:

I got sick and tired of turning on the news and seeing people commit horrible crimes in the name of faith. Jihadists are committing acts of terror. Catholic priests are preying on young children. Baptist televangelists are squeezing money out of their flock. It sickened me then. It disgusts me now. And one day I realized if religion were a drug, then we’d keep children away from it, wouldn’t we? That’s when I started Mothers Against Religion and the movement to raise the age for religious consent to 21.

Friends report Ms. Einersson lost one of her son’s to Joel Osteen. He currently works for the televangelist and is addicted to Joel Osteen branded teeth whitening strips.

Religious Groups Finally Unified
After centuries of fighting between themselves, different religions are uniting to fight the NMRIA. Here’s what the Icelandic leaders of the Abrahamic faiths had to say:

“Children are the future of the one true church. How can Catholicism survive without unsupervised all-boy camping trips? No one is going to want to be a priest.” – Bishop Patrick Coughlan
“A woman isn’t going to wear a burqa if we don’t slut-shame her from birth.” – Imam Malik
“God wants his boys to have the tip of their wee-wees cut off. Those wee-wees must be pruned or we’ll all suffer.” – Rabbi Mike Fine
Regardless of what the faith-based community says, the law is in place and takes effect immediately.

(satire)