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How would you handle this?

So my best friend online has started dating this woman after about two weeks. Yesterday he told me that they had a discussion about friends of the opposite sex, and that they had a disagreement over it, but my friend withheld the reason why until I asked him again today. Turns out that she thinks that he's more emotionally attached to me than her, and that she thinks that he's using her for sex only. She's so suspicious that she demanded to read our private conversations. If anyone knows my friend, he flirts with me and we have emotionally intense conversations because we've been friends for three years this October, but he limits how much since he lives in Canada and me in Florida. I have very deep feelings for him, and I told him and he knows that I do, but I also make myself scarce when he gets girlfriends out of respect. I'm taken aback that she thinks I'm a threat to her from where I am. I could understand if I were in the area, but she's being ridiculous. I just hate to lose good friends to relationships because the woman is or would be jealous of me. He's truly been a wonderful friend to me, and it hurts me to think about wanting to sever ties with him. I told him that I don't answer to hierarchy and that her insecurities are on her--how she feels shouldn't dictate our friendship. What do you think? Because I feel stupid to be this emotionally invested in someone I never met, online of all places. My pride makes me want to walk because I don't fight chicks over guys, but it's been a rough year for me because I had to cut ties with long time friends over how they treated me, or I had some people who I thought would be good friends vanish for no reason. He's the only one I have at this point. I don't know what to do ?

Stepmomofdragons 7 Sep 4
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40 comments (26 - 40)

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2

I had an Australian friend her and I would write each other every month just friend stuff. The woman I was dating at the time got so extremely jealous. I had to let my friend go to this day which is over 25 years I still regret losing my friend to such pettiness.

@Stepmomofdragons Have you thought about or attempted to converse with the girlfriend? State some like that you enjoy your platonic relationship with your friend and set boundaries.

2

You stated that you make yourself scarce when he has girlfriends - has that changed with this one? Maybe if you back away for a bit things will calm down.
Also, you stated that you have deep feelings for him (even though you have never actually met). Did he maybe tell her that? It might be her concerns may not be that far fetched.

1

That is a lot more drama than I would want cluttering up my life. Perhaps it's time to explore what interests you in your area that are conducive to actual social interaction, and cultivate some new friendships.

Deb57 Level 8 Sep 6, 2018
1

Do you have any pets? Maybe you need a pet.

Honestly. I dare say I took that advice about a year ago. Haven't been disappointed yet.

1

she is broken nothing you can do. Either you move near him or him near you see if its real.

1

I stopped at “demanded to read our private conversations”. Eject this stupid bitch from you lives.

1

Honestly, I'd delete and block the lot of them. Make newer and better friends.

1

Danger Will Robinson, Danger!

1

If they've only been dating two weeks, this seems like a red flag that he should not ignore.

GwenC Level 7 Sep 4, 2018
0

I am indian

0

Just because you live long distance doesn’t mean it’s not a relationship. You are both interested in each other, therefore he shouldn’t be dating.

0

Demanding to read your private conversations. No, I don't think so. I once dated a woman in Texas who upon us first having sex she says to me "now I need to know the names of everyone you have had sex with." Sorry. No, I don't think so.

0

You keep him as your friend unless he breaks it off and you have no choice. If he won't stand up for you to her and explain your platonic relationship then he's not much of a friend. If she gives him an ultimatum it's his choice not yours and you accept what happens.

lerlo Level 8 Sep 12, 2018
0

I would lay low until he either decides to or not to get close with this gal. Demanding that he drop friends, insisting on seeing private correspondence etc sounds like a potentially huge amount of drama to me, which I would steer clear of, personally.

Zster Level 8 Sep 5, 2018
0

Relationships take on many forms and it is clear to see that intellectually you and him are a perfect match. Now because of distance the phys

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