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Are you tired of the platitude ' someone will come along when you aren't looking'?

Vic47 6 Jan 21

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15 comments

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I stopped looking over 10 years ago. Only thing that changed is I didn't have to watch someone I was interested in go fuck some other guy anymore.

At 51, I'm perfectly happy with myself. And if I happen to want sex I know exactly where and how to get it.

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My experiences have been that when I look long enough - I find !

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I can be next to certain that no one will pursue me romantically, ever, without my trying first.

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Having been purposely single since 2012, I definitely hear that way more than is tolerable, I used to just laugh, that turned into an eye roll, and has now developed into an eye roll of epic proportions. I have also been asked more times than I can count , exactly HOW “happy, entertained,fulfilled...” can I POSSIBLY be , without a partner. It is terribly perplexing that anyone besides myself should be concerned about such matters. Not to mention, the incredibly condescending:” oh you have to just let someone in ... you’re too (insert compliment here) to be single , why aren’t you willing to SHARE your life “ ? How CRAZY of me to be perfectly content with my own company? How insane that I refuse to just settle for a swinging dick to sit next to me on the couch, just to make other people feel better about my personal life, or to join the masses in confirming to “societal norms”? Oddly enough, this very autonomy actually allows me to cultivate very fulfilling and deep relationships with a plethora of amazing human beings ! I have the time , and I can be very fluid In my relationships based on mutual interests and benefits, as I simply don’t have to consult or consider a significant other into the equation. I’m not even opposed to a healthy, mutually beneficial intimate and committed relationship,but I just don’t NEED it... I never want to settle, or need another human being, I think WANT is much more sincere.... haha , pardon the novel length comment, this subject is one that I unfortunately have to deal with pretty regularly.

@SACatWalker thanks! Honestly if someone said they “NEEDED “ me, I’d run far away and quickly.....

@SACatWalker ooops, sent that too quickly... just to clarify , my use of the word WANT, as opposed to NEED is really more of a matter of emotional stability.... imo, it’s much healthier to want someone around in that context , than to need them. 🙂

Haha right on@HeidiBC

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I stopped looking and no one has come calling yet.

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I believe it completely! Which is why I always take my keys out of my purse before I walk into a parking lot, I’m always alert about my surroundings, and I check the backseat before I get into my car... That’s the only way I expect that “someone will come along when I’m not looking” in my life, LOL! 😉

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Not good with compliments any way always think that the person giving them has alternative motives.

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At this point not looking carries a frightening connotation.

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Only when I'm shamed for not agreeing.

Not only am I not looking, I'm not wanting and not remotely interested. If someone "comes along" they'd better be mature enough to handle rejection gracefully.

Anyone who tries to tell me I'm wrong for feeling this way doesn't get my friendship or my respect. I decide which scripts apply to my life.

Don't get mad at me if your imagination is too small to permit the possibility of alternate scripts.

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Things happen in life, it is random for the most part and it is completely unavoidable. (IMHO)

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You can't always get what you want, but sometimes, if you try real hard, you'll get what you need...RS

@SACatWalker Shows you what state of mind I listen to the Rolling Stones

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to much like have faith for my taste, i have no use for all the other ones either.

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I hate it but it always happens like that for me. I've taken the philosophy further and try to avoid longing, desire or expectstions when I can.

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I generally don’t pay attention to platitudes. I just look around.

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Damn I am blind as it is....Of course I am...

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