Recently this boy i fell hard for told me we are too much alike to ever be together (after he told me he lived me and asked me to move in with him - like same day after??) . too alike to ever be together. The thing is, i feel like we had nothing in common. Still, like i said, i fell hard. Truth be told, i still like him too much. So, he had this perception that was the complete opposite of mine. I think we liked spending time together and enjoyed finding out about each others likes/dislikes.... My favorite people are those with whom i genuinely share interests. But coupling up, in my opinion, doesnt necesarily fit into that constraint. I suppose its how much tolerance folks have for exploration??

Yes, but uncommom interests more so!

I prefer common interests in a mate, but I like my friends to be varied and different, it adds spice to life!

I think keeping your autonomy in a relationship is the real key to keeping it healthy. Overly accommodating creates quite contempt, and animosity. I love sharing time with my girl, but I love my space and interest. I believe being 100% in yourself and wanting someone who is 100% in themselves, you have to have room for them to be able to be themselves. Trust and love.

Common interests are pretty important because it gives you common ground to have somethung to talk about.
But equally important is having interests that you don't share. That gives you the prospect of potentially finding new interests that your partner may be into that you may like.

An interesting observation that I really haven't payed much creed to as I, living in a tRumplican state, really have no expectations of meeting a rational woman in this part of the country. I enjoy music, movies, art, science, history, nature, technology, and a few other things but have a profound dislike of sports as I consider those activities a poor allocation of resources for a populous that should be more concerned with our environment then watching people compete for physical dominance on the game field.

Yes! I'm very passionate about what I care about. Music, politics, hobbies...I seek partners. I've dated (and married) non like minded and felt very alone.

I think there needs to be some overlap in interests, just to be practical — what do you do together if you don't share anything in common? — but I also think it's important for everyone to have their own lives, other interests, different circles of friends, because those differences are what we use to add flavor to the stew of the relationship, a little infusion from outside to keep things spiced up. Otherwise, it's just two people with the same thoughts, the same experiences, the same interests, the same perspective, and that's bound to get old and get boring.

Yes: it certainly helps in the talking / sharing time. Humans like validation on opinions.

No: it’s good to learn. If we don’t learn from other points of view or experiences, then we’ll be the same and that’s boring.

Maybe: if you can find a friend or mate that lets you have alone time, that’s gold too. I grew up an only child and love doing things alone.

They are important. More than anything I would like someone to bat ideas around with.

Common interests are important to me but I don't give a rat's ass about sports. If you do that's OK. Sharing of ideas is important.

I like us to be different enough to allow for the exploration of new things

IMO having interests in common only makes the association stronger.but also showing support for interests other than yours is also important.

I feel that if you're looking for any kind of long term relationship, yes. I always use to make the mistake of letting sexual chemistry do the talking, and then when the novelty wears off and you finally come up for air, you realize you have absolutely nothing to talk about. If you can find someone who has at least a few of the same interests, you have a place to build from.

I completely agree. It's annoyingly difficult to find a partner who is comfortable with the concept of alone-time, I've found, but it is something that I need very much to supplement and compliment the shared time.

Common interests are important. However, it's hard to find people who like ferret racing, collecting snake skins, stalking celebrities and grave digging.

Well, it helps but it's not all. I have good friends that have little in commm with me.

There has to be some separation of interest in a relationship, or I find myself bored quite quickly. I want to be challenged, and not be constantly agreed with.

Common interests are important to me, but so are interests that I don't have because maybe they will open me up to new experiences and maybe I will like them.

The similar interests are, for me, the initial attraction. The differences are what bring people closer. When care enough about the other person to want to learn about the differences...you're hooked.

In a successful relationship, there must be substantial shared interests and values. But, each must also have the freedom and space to pursue interests of their own.

Common interest, in my opinion, is essential because they do provide something that can be shared and allow a quicker connection. However, separate interests are needed as well so that there is some sense of individuality.

I think common interest has it's place, but a difference of interests may expand your horizons. When someone is completely different, I can't say I've tried to make that work.

I really don't have any basis for comparison I was only in one relationship for my entire life for 27 years and as time went by that's kind of what caused us to drift apart is.we got together when we were very young and very desperate and all we had was each other but the older we got the more I found out that we really didn't share the same interests or basic beliefs about what was really important in life

I believe everyone should have an active hobby as well as a passive one. I also think it is nice to share these with a significant other. But they should also have interests of their own!