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Gender bias & agnosticism

I am noticing that we men are largely discussing philosophy & theology (or politics & science). While the women, who we would like to attract, are talking about social questions.

Considering the purpose of this website, it seems to me that the women are the ones having the right conversation.

Do you think we men don't know how to talk to women?

By paulthepainter3
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Stereotyping disturbs me. Gender stereotyping disturbs me even more. One of my sisters enjoys talking about all the aspects of environmental engineering and ecosystems. Break out a math problem and you have her eating from your hand. She is equally at home talking about social issues. Another of my sisters knows pretty much all there is to know about the animals that inhabit this planet and can rattle off the scientific names of almost every one of them. She is also an artist and a maker of things, all sorts of things. She loves to talk about almost anything. I enjoy literally all topics, though I'm partial to science and tech things, but I'm equally at home discussing social affairs, relationships, and so forth.

In my experience to this point, I have met very few women as narrow as you suggest.


I, and lots of women, are interested in all those things. The way men talk about them can be off putting to many women, however. They sometimes talk to "win" an argument instead of trying to understand. That said, I actually enjoy verbal sparing if it does not get personal but most women are more conflict averse than I am. (There are exceptions to every rule.)


I believe most men don't know how to chat.

DUCHESSA Level 8 Jan 28, 2018

I won't tell you when / where...but a gent wanted to start a conversation with me. Each one of his answers was made of one word...and sometimes two words. He was not the only one. I don't say they don't have the knowledge to keep a conversation going but, simply, most don't know how to use said knowledge.


Perhaps you might want to read more of the different discussions here. I think there's an awful lot of varied participation by everyone. People talk about what they're interested in. People here are interested in all sorts of things.

KKGator Level 9 Jan 28, 2018

Women like to talk about philosophy, theology, politics, and science, too. Those are not inherently masculine topics. Just because they are not in the threads you are participating in, doesn't mean they're not out there.

AryaKat Level 3 Jan 28, 2018

On this site, I do not attend to the sex of the person, but to the topic that means something to me.

wordywalt Level 8 Jan 28, 2018

Those are some BIG leaps.

  1. The "purpose" of this site is not solely dating. I, for one, am "here for community."

  2. Forum discussions (even in a dating-oriented environment!) do not solely serve the purpose of attracting potential matches, like some sort of Discovery Channel mating display.

  3. Just because someone is not posting, doesn't mean they're not reading.

  4. Difference in preference between what men and women like to talk about is not and has never been necessarily a barrier to connection between them, nor any indication that either does not know how to communicate with the other.

  5. Making yourself do anything outside of your ken (like discoursing on a subject that does not interest you) is a surefire way to make yourself appear at least somewhat unattractive. Especially if you're doing it with an agenda.

  6. The only "right way" to talk to anyone is like a grown-up: be yourself, be honest, be respectful, pay attention, ask for what you want, use your head and your manners, don't make assumptions. Anything else is gamesmanship and not likely to win you quality admirers.

There is a point in what you said. But the implied argument--that your observations support the conclusion "men don't know how to talk to women" has holes. Big, truck-drivey holes.

The takeaway: step outside your bubble and see what other people are talking about--just because it's good for you.

As for attracting a match, just be yourself. You do want a potential mate to like you, as opposed to someone you're not, correct?

No disrespect, Paul. I can't help myself around truck-drivey holes.

Talk about a spirit animal!!! How do I love thee? Let me count the ways!!!! smile009.gif

@KKGator LOL back atcha!
@Akfishlady Thank you...thank you very much!

I totally agree, so very well said!!


I think the fact that I've been single for years and I'm on the internet looking for one pretty much answers that question...


LOL. Oh my. If you had a poll this would be a BIG YES!

JustLuAnn Level 6 Jan 28, 2018

Depends on the person I believe not on their gender.

RavenCT Level 9 Jan 28, 2018



I'd be open to discuss anything. The fact that the male and female minds are different just shows that we both have something to offer to any discussion.

When I was at an army open day and my group sat down to discuss a question that an officer would ask. He asked "In the UK's war in Afghanistan, what TANGIBLE benefits has the UK acquired from the conflict?"

The men (7/smile027.gif made the points on Medical technology, combat experience (as in realizing the L85A1 was a piece of garbage, adopting different tactics and training regimes, intelligence gathering methods, etc), political power in the region.

And the one girl said

Now, I am not a misogynist and I respected her as a person. But I asked "How is culture tangible?" merely to hear her justification as to how it was TANGIBLE in the sense that, if everyone from Afghanistan vanished, what would be left that was tangible. Because traditions and culture are something that the people of Afghanistan would bring with them, their language and traditions were their choices and their heritage. Remove the people an the culture is gone. This is why I thought it was an INTANGIBLE benefit.

At the end of the discussion, the officer said "You all raised some good points, but when xxxx (the girl) mentioned culture, you should've also that as one of your final benefits."

To me, TANGIBLE means something you can touch and hold, which is exactly what the dictionary says. An object which can be touched or felt (physically).

But I can accept that (mainly because I know how we have no regard for the actual meaning of words anymore) she was right. At the time, I wasn't able to accept that although the definition of the word was "definite" as in it was not changeable.

If I had just turned my brain off and not said a word, our group would have had an extra point on our list.

I also realized that I no longer wanted to go into the military. It makes no sense to die for a country that orders you to kill then arrests you for killing and sentences you to jail for doing your job and following orders. Becoming a prisoner in your own country that you fought for is a bit of a bad deal. Plus the fact that when you come back home you could get murdered by terrorists in the street just for doing your job, that isn't a very good plan at all.

Lancer Level 7 Jan 28, 2018

My point is that we now change the meaning of words to suit our arguments. Which is just the way language works. If more people use it incorrectly than correctly then the language changes the meaning of the word since words are just an agreed upon form of communication.

Also I don't have anything against the people of Afghanistan, to be honest I feel sorry for them. Invaders have been going into and destroying their lands for centuries. Mongols, Russians, Saracens, Americans, British. It is a truly horrible thing to be invaded and attacked just for living in your own country.

Also most police don't go around killing minorities for the hell of it. You'd have to be pretty misled to believe that police officers go to work with the intent to shoot minorities. As American Statistics show. Minorities kill each other more than the police kill them.

Also I'm talking about a soldier named Lee Rigby who was stabbed to death by islamic extremists. Nothing wrong with a little violence and death, as long as it doesn't involve me. But I don't appreciate unnecessary violence.

Even though the UK had it coming. They are quite good at invading and killing people in foreign countries but when it happens to them they find it strange.


I think generally the discussions on this site are amazing, and fun. Its a way to get to know each other.


I would much prefer to discuss science.


Walk the talk. Leave the men to their distractions. More for you.


I know men don't..

Charlene Level 9 Jan 28, 2018
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