I am less willing to compromise than I was, maybe I was desperate in my younger years.
My most recent committed relationship ended just over 13 years ago, I date, the dates go nowhere, sex is either a feast or a famine but I don't starve, not quite. But I have not met anoone in recent years where the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of being in a relationship with them, not to mention they feel the same way. We get fussier with time and experience. we also realise our own value and are less insecure.

I wouldn't give up. Some people like those qualities. I swear sometimes people hit a really bad run - than "Boom"! That being said I am very single. Hang in there. (Rant away we'll listen).

Is this venting or are you actually looking for advice ?

Quit trying so hard and relax and enjoy !!! Actually, not being in a demanding relationship is not too bad...

It took me a long while to recognize that I am not cut out for the paired-up life. I'm too cranky, too variable, and too unrealistic in my expectations. I like a good friend or two, a Saturday evening social time, and maybe a couple of bull sessions during the week Beyond that, I get hard to deal with.

I feel you. That's all I got. I feel you.

Some people would say your shopping at the wrong store. I'm sorry you are having difficulty finding the right person. I went out of state and found my wife...

I am curious about your communication skills you say used to be terrible but are now honest. I wonder how those skills are appearing to the other person(s). Maybe there is still a mismatch between those skills and the type of person you gravitate to. Maybe your honesty sounds like judgment or pickiness to them, and they are intimidated. Just speculation on my part, since I have dated just the tiniest bit in my life and currently have been single the past couple years. I agree with what a few others others here have touched on, that as we get older, perhaps be get more risk averse regarding relationships, less willing to have "blind faith" in the suitability of those we meet--and likewise they do, too. We come to be more aware of the downside of investing our time and trust in someone we know little about, and therefore finding a good fit SEEMS more difficult, when in fact it is not more so. It is just that many of those people jumpining into commitment earlier in life are willing to make risky matches. I am no more experienced than you at this ( and I am a therapust; Ha!) But I CAN tell you, more patients coming to me are unhappy about problem relationships than about loneliness. So being in a couple is not the key to happiness. We have to be happy with ourselves first. Then we will naturally find the patience to take our time getting to know someone else. Not settling surely does tend to require a lot more patience, but it is worth it.

Let it happen.

There's another question you have to ask. How important is it to you?
That's right, is having a partner really that important to you?
People tend to do what's important to do. If having a job is important, they get a job. If having a car is important, they get a car. If having a pet is important, they get a pet.
Why is it always assumed that having a partner and being in a relationship is so important? Do you feel that not having one is a disability? Are missing out on something?
I don't ask this question in a flippant way. This is a meaningful issue in today's society. Maybe it's just not that important to you? Maybe you've got better things to do? Maybe you've got other ways of getting what a relationship is supposed to get you?
Being in a relationship is a big responsibility. You are bringing another person into your life. Decades ago, having the traditional marriage and relationships had real advantages that they don't have today. A lot of those advantages don't exist anymore.
So you and everyone else must seriously consider, how important that thing is to you?

If I knew, I would share it with you!

I overstand !!!

Tough to have any valuable insight, this being just a forum...

You probably are weeding out the bad apples early. There are a lot of those. And not because they're bad people, but because they're just not compatible with you. I've been divorced about a year and I'm just starting to come out of the worst stages of grief where I wasn't even interested in finding anyone else. I am not going to sweat it if I don't find anyone, and if I do it will be nice.

Maybe some of us just have a bad picker...I know I do.

Life is capricious at best, at least it is unfathomable.............

You know how humans evolved to eat certain foods, operate in certain social groups, follow certain schedules, etc., and modern life--with its agriculture, population sizes, and artificial lighting--has turned all that on it's head and now we've got challenges and diseases and whatnot that arise from the mismatch that are causing major problems for us? Maybe it's like that.

Maybe there's a chasm between your mate-magnet (probably largely subconscious, and formed long ago in a bygone age) and your relationship skills (conscious and recent) that accounts for it. Give it time. Sounds like your mate-magnet just needs to catch up to your relational sensibilities.

I can relate, dear. I used to date total dicks who attempted to destroy my self-esteem. But now that I have set standards and boundaries, it's as if Mr right is harder to find than a fair and balanced Fox news Tucker Carlson broadcast.

It takes time to meet and connect with someone who's worth it. Meanwhile, live and enjoy your life. When you meet the right partner you'll appreciate each other because the fuller you live your life you will be a better person and be able to give and receive so much more.

I don't do committed relationships anymore. Been there, done it and got the t-shirt.

Now I just do things with people who want to do them (and I'm not talking only about sex here). Different people want different things and no-one wants the same things all the time.

My only rule is not to hurt anyone - unless they really insist. All my female friends know about each other. Trouble is, a couple of them get on well with each other and have been known to talk about me as if I wasn't present.

Only REALLY BAD relationship (3 years) was this one. AVOID!!!

most humans are bad apples to you now.

I'm not sure I have any answers for you, but I can tell you about my experiences.

My relationships seemed to be easier to find when I was younger - like you are now. They were also unstable. I had a couple of really wonderful girlfriends and I didn't realize how fortunate I was. Perhaps it's that natural youthfulness that made relationships seem easier to start and less precious to maintain.

As I got older, I became more responsible and more serious. I applied what I learned - what I thought I had learned - from those earlier tumultuous relationships. What I experienced was: new problems. Not only did I have more experience (bad experience) but so did all my potential mates. It seemed that none of my hard-earned lessons meant anything. All new problems, problems of an older generation. It was pretty dismal, and less fun.

Then I got old.

When I was young, at least there was the occasional woman who was interested in me. I never knew what they found attractive, but there must have been something because I wasn't totally alone. Now that I'm old, there's NOT A SINGLE WOMAN who has any interest in me. Not interested in my personality. intelligence, wit, humor, nothing. OK, I've lost my hair and my waist size isn't 28 any more, but even women my age (and older) are completely disinterested.

Ironically, all the lessons learned from my youth - consideration, attentiveness, respect, etc - worthless.

Perhaps my experience doesn't have value for you, but maybe it helps with the men in your age range. Some guys need to suffer alot before we grow up. Maybe you can find one who has suffered enough to grow up enough to recognize the value of a healthy intimate relationship.

I've got nothing. Sorry.