No, there has to be some attraction. However it is not the only thing one should focus on. I once met a girl that was gorgeous, and the more I got to know her the uglier of a person she became to me. She became very unattractive to me and I had to sever all contact with her.

Not at all..it's your life and we All have preferences..

It does matter. The preferences changes from person to person. I may like a black woman with long hair. Some other may like a white woman, blonde and short hair. So on. You do not become shallow because of it.

I think mutual attraction is one of the most important ingredients for a successful intimate relationship. But attraction is relative. We all have a type that steals our breath away. For example some people like tall women and I like shorties. So looks are important if sex is important.

I guess it is by definition, but that's just how it is. Is it shallow to like a person because they like the same movies or music that you do instead of liking them just because they're a caring person etc? They're all just preferences. Should you be forced to be with someone that you don't find attractive? We try to find someone who has the most preferences that we want. Physical attractiveness is included. It is what it is.

No, its natural, but it greatly reduces your choices if you are picky. If that is the main criteria you use when choosing a partner it is probably less likely you will find a good fit in other ways.

I don't think it's shallow, it can't be the only criteria though.
If you're looking for a long-term partner, remember this is someone you'll have to look at every day. LOL

they matter. your eye knows what you like. I still think it is important not to base your pursuits on looks alone

Not really; attraction to physical looks is hardwired into humans, imo, as an initial way of bringing the genders together. The problem comes when the physical attraction is all that matters, even after you get to know them.

Hmmm... geee... I guess I'm shallow.... damn! But
I aint never seen an ugly lady in the states. I seen some ugly women over seas. To me a Women dressed nicely and smelling sweet is awesome to behold. Isn't it nice that were programmed to see beautiful. I always ask my wife if she wanted to ride my bike. I said when we get to heavy I'll need to adjust the shocks... she loves that bike and watches her weight... right now I'm the problem
I need to loose some weight.... lol

People are attracted to what pleases them. It is biological, and something that is beyond our control. Personality is another powerful factor. If you meet someone that is physically attractive, but there is a personality conflict then there is little chance of a relationship. Dating is complex, and it is rarely easy.

No, I don't think so.

No. Whatever factors are important to you, you will consider. That's normal.

For me, intelligence, education, articulateness, and financial security are more important than looks. There does need to be some level of attraction too.

My factors have evolved over time, based on my growth and relationship experiences.

Physical attraction is part of the package.... now, if you only date "looks" ....then, indeed, is shallow.

I think chemistry matters. And "looks" is one of the many factors that contributes to chemistry. Biologically speaking, what you see is received by your eyes and sent to your brain which is then processed by a million neurons before it sends signals to your body which increases your adrenaline, dilates your pupils, increases your heart rate, makes you blush, makes you stumble on your words, etc... or NOT.

It's nowhere near shallow.

As long as it is not the only consideration. I have dated beautiful women in the past who were total bitches.In other words, personality does matter.I have known women who were not attractive in the classical sense, but they presented themselves in such a confident manner that they became sexy. I'm sure it's true with men too.

Despite people who say they are all about what's on the inside, I believe everyone considers appearance to some extent in a partner. Is it shallow? I suppose it can be. Depends. Everyone has an idea of what they find attractive, physically.

If they matter to you, they matter to you. It really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
They aren't living your life, or paying your bills.
Looks are more important to some people than others.

I think physical attraction is important, but "wow, she is beautiful" not so much.

Looking at the dating apps... men are far more concerned about their partners looks... women are far more concerned with family security ($$$), protector, being appreciated and treated like a woman.

Then everyone would be considered shallow.

No. Thats almost as insane as believing in the bible described god. Most of us are naturally visual creatures. Of course we find pleasure within people that are more pleasing to the eye quicker than those whom do not appeal to us as individuals.

Looks are certainly a part of the equation, but I would rather spend my time with someone who is "plain", as the old folks would say, and had a brilliant mind and personality than someone who turns my head with their looks and my stomach with their attitude or lack of intellect. There will be more good chemistry for a longer period of time with the former. Looks may turn my head, but the rest is what will engage my mind and heart.

brains + a sense of humor = HOT

The rest is the proverbial icing on the cake, but the majority of the cake isn't usually icing.

I have definitely dated girls who didn't fit into what I might initially consider "attractive". But looks aren't everything. I've met girls who were very attractive who fit into the whole Hollywood/model definition of what we are told and led to believe what is attractive/beauty. And often those same females opened their mouths and spewed out things that immediately made them unattractive to me. We can't always control who we are attracted to. I am demisexual, and a bit sapiosexual... so I need more than just physical attraction. Sometimes it is very frustrating for me that I am this way, but it is who I am.

I’ve dated guys who were gorgeous on the outside & it didn’t take long at all before their ugly inside transferred completely on over to their outside.
I AM kind of shallow & I can’t help it. I hate bulbous noses but I’m talking to a guy now whose nose is—while not clown nose bulbous, it’s still like that—and he is so nice & we have so many of the same interests that his nose has suddenly done a disappearing act of sorts.