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Are you good at small talk?

I've always had difficulty rubbing elbows just for the sake of it. Perhaps I just haven't been motivated... But the last two jobs I had, there was very little overlap of interests with my co workers. Religion. Sports. Coach bags... not my stuff. And, I will not watch Honey Boo Boo just to have a break room conversation. I'd rather than off my own leg.

I just liked to say good morning and get to doing my thing. Unless I see common ground, it feels forced and awkward. Umm... So how about that weather...

How do you do with small talk?

silvereyes 8 Feb 4
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63 comments (51 - 63)

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2

One thing I love about Thailand..no silly "obvious" statements, so common in US culture, such as "Sure is hot today," or "Nice sunny day today."
These non-statements are meant to let people communicate politely without having to think of anything clever to say, or commit to a more lengthy conversation, just to show friendliness.

When I first came to Thailand, I had to fight that non-statement impulse because saying something like that only got blank, or inquiring stares. In general, people leave you alone unless you smile at them or otherwise indicate you want to talk.
Even very young children are taught not to stare at, or bother strangers.

Also, people typically don't talk on public transportation..even on their cellphones.
I quickly learned that when I tried to make friendly chit chat, everyone just stared at me, startled.
But since I prefer to read Kindle books during trips, I'm grateful for the peace and quiet.

Occasionally someone's-usually a woman close to my age- curiosity will be too much, and they will ask me what I'm doing there (wherever I happen to be), and if I respond in Thai, they usually ask what I do in Thailand.
But after I answer a few questions and exchange a few pleasantries, I am free to return to my book-nobody bothers me further.

But I can be a chatterbox if I meet someone exceptionally interesting, even overriding my "no non-statements" program, like when I saw a Thai teen near a remote beach village flying an amazing handmade kite that "sang" Thai music when the wind blew across cat gut hairs stretched across places on the kite frame.
I was all over him..did he make the kite? How long does it take? Do you sell them? How long have you..?
etc. etc. I was quite a pest.

hot enough for ya?

2

Yes

🙂

2

I can be with the right person, and a familiar subject. If its about what I had for dinner, or a great restaurant, and just casual talk sure. But I typically find most small talk is something that I am not familiar with like sports. My hunch is that I am not that good at small talk. I tend not to not care if I fit in with the crowd, and I am not intimidated easily. I came to do a job, and tend to get busy with the task at hand.

I detest arguing, and that maybe is another reason I am not good at small talk. If it was not for fellow agnostics, and atheists I doubt I would last long on this site. Like I said I don't like to argue. With my personality it can escalate to angry and nasty if I am not treated with respect.

1

It is not easy. I have been told I have a big mouth.

1

I am. But after a while it becomes burdensome.

1

I'm not great at it but can do in most circumstances. But yesterday, I was in an odd situation. I'm trying to get out and do things more (it's so much easier to just stay home, especially when I don't have someone to do things with.). So I went to a Meetup (Las Vegas Atheists) called Sunday Assembly (church without religion. Held at the Center of Science and Wonder.) and I just found it so hard to start a conversation with anyone. There were a lot of smiles and nods. I would have thought that the regulars would have been more welcoming of a newcomer. Anyway, I stood around and nibbled on a few snacks they had after the service, which was mostly sing along with a live band, but it just became too painful and I had to leave. I haven't given up and I plan on going again next week, so I'll see how that goes.

1

No. 'nuff said. 😉

1

I hate small talk. I'm not good at it either. I can talk about so many topics and issues, but once I go for small talk, I feel like an idiot.

1
1

I hate it and always tried to avoid it. However, here I am always getting into situations where that is necessary. Unfortunately, small talk with me usually ends up in some discussions about heavy issues. Some are okay with that and some are not.

1

I am the serious guy... very serious. Not interested. But you show up with pretty shoes... I will compliment those shoes... after a while is a shoe parade in front of my desk. Because I know shoes if anything else and every woman I ever met liked a gentleman complimenting her with no sex innuendo just simple honest review of a style. That's small talk to me.

1

I don't like small talk at work. In my business the faster I get my work done, the more money I make. Today was abysmally lousy with football whining. I'll chat a bit when I have down time waiting for a receiver to open a door or check me in, but once I have work to do, I just work.

0

I can do it and I do do it whenever the need arises and then the need to get off gets so great that I find myself making excuses to get off. So Doable but only for limited periods.

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