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On a first date do you go Dutch (share the bill)?

Do you as a women even want the guy to pay for dinner anymore?
Do you as a man expect to pay the tab for the date?

paul1967 8 Nov 3
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23 comments

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5

I try not to expect anything in particular from someone I don't yet know.

For a first date, I prefer doing something that doesn't require money from anyone - except the fuel to get to the meeting place. A hike, a walk in a park - even a kayak paddle.

Sounds like a great place to get to know someone.

@paul1967 One can learn a lot about someone while outdoors. How comfortable they are. How they move. What they notice while roaming. If they have an appreciation for the large and small non-humans.

That sounds romantic af.

4

I've always paid and turned down the offer to split the bill. I've also done the reverse when asked out by a woman.

4

I normally try to ask who's going to pay or if we need to split before we even go on a date

4

I always offer to.

4

I always offer. Never had a man say yes. But I still always offer.

3

I always meet for coffee 1st..if it works out, then
Dinner..I buy my own coffee ..he can buy 1st dinner.

3

I believe the correct protocol is that whoever invites the other (mostly the guy) pays. If the woman wants to equalise costs them my preference is to pay for alternate dates. A less preferred alternative is that each pays for specific parts of the date; for example he pays the restaurant, she pays for the theatre.

3

This might be old fashioned, but the Southerner in me compels me to make a valiant effort to pay for it. If, however, my date insists on going Dutch, then I of course agree. However, if I'm the one that asked for the date, I do try my best to pay for it.

But then again, I use that same rule if I invite ANYONE out to lunch, dinner, or to get a drink - whether it's friends, family, or a date.

BTW, I am NOT one of those who believes that paying for a date's dinner obligates them to me in ANY WAY WHATSOEVER. That is barbaric and misogynistic.

Of course it is possible to frame the invitation is such a way as to clearly imply you are paying. "I have tickets to the opera/theatre/ballet/football" is pretty clear that you have already paid. Even "Can I take you out?" is reasonably clear to anyone with a grasp of basic grammar. "Can I buy you lunch/dinner?" might also work if in response to some favour.

I don't get the "owing" thing as in very generous by nature and expect nothing in return except maybe respect...
But i tend to give that freely too

3

In my time, men paid and did the asking. I will offer, and adapt to the pleasure of my date.

2

I'm old fashion...i pay, but I'll let her contribute...i don't like to do anything that offends nationalities like insult Nederlanders as cheap (a British insult going back to the colonial days when European sea pirates invaded and pillaged north America... ), but i do put good English on the cue when shooting pool... lol

2

I mean if the guy really doesn't want to pay I've gotten the, "Lets go to the park or Do a coffee date".

Jaed Level 5 Nov 3, 2018
2

Always offer to split bill....but always nice when the guy declines ..!

Saves some bucks.

2

I always offer. I’ve never had a gentleman take me up on it though.

@maturin1919 ?

2

I always offer to split it. I’ve almost never been taken up on that.

1

If it's a date for coffee and the man invited me, I would let him pay. If it's dinner or lunch, I would offer to contribute, but wouldn't insist. If all went well, I would invite him out and would take the bill as the waitperson presented it.

katem Level 2 Dec 19, 2018
1

Yep...always do with little argument most of the time

1

I'd prefer to pay for dinner unless she says Dutch then I do Dutch. A lady I dated once paid me back for her half of all the meals when we broke up. I was kinda offended then I liked it. It was like getting money back from IRS, if the IRS was a secret social conservative Dominican that didn't appreciate my ability to spot phallic symbols in traditional African artwork.

1

Girl should not let the man pay whole ?

1

I always offer to split, but will defer to the one who did the inviting on the date if they feel strongly about it, unless I am picking up a creepy vibe and want to avoid being in an "owing" situation.

Zster Level 8 Nov 4, 2018

I know you know this but I'll say it anyways you never owe anyone anything period. And nobody should ever feel like they do. Again I have no doubt you understand

1

I always expect to split the bill. But never have had to. I often pay the tip though.

0

If I ask someone out, I expect to for the date. No expectations beyond the stated coffee, meal, or whatever the date plans are.

0

If it hasn't been discussed before the date, I would offer to pay for my own. If he insists on paying and there was a second date set, I'd offer for it to be my treat.

0

Sometimes I pay, mostly I don't.
I noticed that all the worth keeping girls don't let me pay for them.
If the girl expect you to pay then most likely she's not worth it.

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