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Fellow sad singles, let's play a game. Why do you think you're single and what could you do to change that? I'll start. I'm not terribly attractive, I hate being passive and I posses a host of psychological issues. I'm trying to combat this by doing things to be healthier(physically and mentally) and attempting to cultivate patience.

OpposingOpposum 9 Feb 6
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17 comments

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1

Oh gee, how much space is on this thing?

  1. too fresh a widow/hermit

  2. terminal dobermanitis and not easy to get a match there. Does setting money on fire going to dog shows sound like fun?

I could change that by going out with those who've asked IRL with whom it seems have little in common with myself other than being human.

1

Practicing kindness and appreciation to myself. Treating myself the way I would a potential partner.

1

Can I play?

Not only am I currently not single, but have never been sad in those sometimes extended periods when I have been single?

Uh... That's nice?

I asked because I found the question a little negative, equating single and sad.

I have been single for quite significant periods in my life, but that has always been by choice. I have not gone out looking for a partner and have never gone into relationships with any expectation other than a shared experience at the time. Some of these encounters have developed into longer term relationships and some into friendships and some just ended.

I have not been sad at the end of relationships, nor have I been angry if the relationship was ended when I have thought there was a compatibility that could have been developed.

So I don't fit either category in the question. 🙂

@Uncorrugated I wasn't equating the two I was modifying single in an attempt to differentiate from people who are single by preference. Hence my annoyance with the "I'm single and happy!" Answers. I'm like, well the question doesn't apply to you, does it? If you're happy with your situation,its not a problem.

1

I'm an introverted person with a bit of social anxiety thrown in for good measure. I keep to myself out in public, though I am perfectly courteous to strangers when they approach me for minor things. Some people I know have told me I may come off as intimidating to others, probably due to my introverted nature I guess. Just relatively hard to talk to people sometimes as I usually don't patron bars and other big social locations by myself. A lot of my outings are spent by myself and usually in places with fewer people.

I can also add lazy to the mix I guess. I more often just don't try, I'm that fisherman who sits back in his boat and relaxes while I wait for a bite. Though after talking with someone for a decent amount of time I can already make an honest judgment that it may work or not. So if I manage to break through the shyness, it's then down to whether there is anything worthwhile there.

1

I made bad choices in the women that I was involved with in the past, so now I am very careful when I meet someone, and I basically take my time to find out who they are, what they believe in and if we are compatible. I don't jump into a relationship. So far I have not met anyone that I want to be in a long term relationship with. When I was younger, I got into relationships too fast. Now I do not jump into anything fast, either physically or emotionally. I like my freedom, and it would take an extraordinary woman to make me want to give that up.

3

I am happily single, responsible to no one but me for the first time in over 60 years, and it feels Fantastic....be careful what you wish for!

2

I feel that i do not offer what most women are looking for, a serious, committed relationship leading to marriage. I am single because I choose to be single and I feel it is the best lifestyle for me. I am quite happy as a single man doing as I please.

4

Wanna hear a story? I spent a great evening with a former coworker. She and I did the dinner and a movie thing and then went to her place. She invites me in. It's a single room apartment. I sit down and she goes to the bed and lies down, facing me with her chin supported in her hands. We chat for about ten minutes. Then she states "You haven't got a single effin clue, do you." And it went down hill from there.

Ouch. I scared the last one away by jumping him before he was ready,lol. Maybe I should try your approach.

3

I believe I have been alone so long that I think being in a relationship will really cramp my style.

I think that sometimes too. I'm trying not be so rigid.

1

I'm single but can't say that I'm sad. I actually enjoy being by myself. It's peaceful. Reasons for me being single? Probably because I don't try. I'm just really happy with my life now and having a relationship, I guess in a way scares me because I don't wanna lose the level of comfort and happiness that I have now. Years of bad relationships led to that but it doesn't mean I've given up or closed to the idea of dating. If it happens it happens. I'm just not very worried about it.

Uh. Must be nice?

2

Well heck... your on the right track... tone up and get out there. Everybody's attracted to somebody... don't put yourself down. Did you know that learning to talk, stand correctly, and show yourself as mysterious can knock people over... that's not being fake... its redesigning ones self. It's all up to you. You remember the movie Pretty Woman?

3

I'm fat, I'm gay and I'm wilfully gender non-conforming. A niche within a niche within a niche.

The 'straight with a dick fetish' bi and curious guys come for the penis but then leave because of it (they want the kind of girlfriend they can take into McDonalds, rather than one they have to sneak through the drive-thru after dark.) The gay guys typically run a mile when they get a whiff of the frocks.

1

That's a good question. Mine is complicated. If I can find this post later I'm going to respond. It's to early now for thinking.

2

I know I am not what most women want, I could well change many things about myself, the only thing I am willing to change is my weight, but with all the others, I am still not the model that is wanted. I am happy enough in myself, and no-one is on my radar as being a must have at this time.

In the words of Willie Nelson, "If I was the man that you wanted, I wouldn't be the man that I am."

@Rudy1962 absolutely. I'm not trying to change for anyone but myself. I am looking for solutions to things that seem like problems to me though.

2

I'm single but not sad. I don't drink or smoke or like sports or most of that stuff so I'm off of the radar and have always been a loner. some people seem to get less choosey as they age but I don't. I'm quite a loner anyway.

4

I'm told I am have an intimidating and unapproachable demeanor. Even my boss is always asking why I'm pissed off when I am just focused on my task. I also think I look a little masculine and need to lose 50-60 pounds.

I'm single because the people I'm attracted to either not attracted to me or are exactly like my ex's in which case, I do the running away

But mostly I just do not meet many single people since I go to bed before dark and won't mess around with anyone connected to my job.

1

I'm a bit of a dick, and I've got a terrible problem with not being interested in people who are interested in me.

Haha. Are you me?

@ScienceBiker lol. In my case the Sasquatch would be my bizarre coping mechanisms.

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