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Standards

I had an interesting conversation today and it made me curious.

Mostly directed at male identifying people but anyone can answer

Those of you over 30, do you notice you are pickier about people you will hook up with?

If a women says I want to have sex now but she isn't attractive are you still going to have sex with her?

By Holyhellkel
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52 comments
17

Nope. Always been "picky". Not about looks, money, prestige. About intelligence, personality, values. Sorry, not sorry. I like having "high standards."

stinkeye_a Level 7 Feb 12, 2018
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11

I would assume that a woman (other than my wife, with her puzzling taste in men) who said to me "I want to have sex now" would also add "with anyone but you".

NerdyOkieDude Level 7 Feb 12, 2018
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This reminds me of the Laugh In sketch, where the dirty old man sits down on the bench with Ruth Buzzy and says, "Do you believe in the hereafter?" Buzzy nods and he says,"Then you know what I'm here after!"

@Dwight lol

@Dwight Did she hit him over the head with her purse?

@Darthpug yes, that's right, she ended the sketch with a good purse pounding!

6

I've always been picky, even with large amounts of alcohol involved. Just because she suggests it that doesn't equate to an automatic yes from me.


And I'm what most people, if I'd been born female, would've called a slut.

FortyTwo Level 7 Feb 12, 2018
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5

I'm 27 and I'm picky. I only had sex with one partner when I was 24. No sex in 3 years. I feel society expects people under 30 to be a bit wild. I dunno.

taemaria27 Level 5 Feb 12, 2018
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Sure you aren't frigid?

That is soooo not funny. @Atheistman

That's great if that's your choice. I'm not a fan of social norms

@orange_girl I blocked him. That was so uncalled.for. I hate when atheists show we can be as douchy as Christians.

@Holyhellkel I'm doing the same. He's made asinine, sexist remarks prior.

@Holyhellkel I got a few haters to my "#metoo" comment.

stay true to yourself

@koshkamat it's a good way to filter lol

Why do you care what society expects? It is your life!!

5

No but as I have gotten older, the things o find sexually attractive about the opposite sex has changed drastically. BIG tits, braces and zits aren't attractive at all. Possibly because I get my hormones and vitamins confused often. Keep forgetting I can't hear a vitamin.

Stevil Level 7 Feb 12, 2018
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5

never happened to me. would be fun finding out !

markdevenish Level 7 Feb 12, 2018
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4

I am 79. Probably this thread is not relevant to my life smile001.gif

Dick_Martin Level 7 Feb 12, 2018
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4

I am very picky about who I will spend my time with these days, whether or not sex is involved. Life is full of obligations and demands on my time. I am quick to write off anyone that demands too much without giving back... life really is just too short.

dsimms9 Level 4 Feb 12, 2018
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4

But I am glad I'm picky. Men have to be attractive, but not ridiculously so.

Teslacoilsmith Level 5 Feb 12, 2018
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4

Tough question. My mind changed after having a kid. It's easy to see sex for what it is when the mystery is gone. I've passed on opportunities with the wrong people and surprised myself with others I wouldn't have considered. It has less to do with physical attraction these days and more to do with how relationships play out.

macrobius Level 6 Feb 12, 2018
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3

Dang! So I am probably going to sound old fashioned, but I am not the typical guy I suppose. I am pickier about women. I am more interested in my ability to talk to her than what she looks like. Although I won't say that looks don't mean anything to me. Having said that, I am not quick to jump in bed with someone. First meet, I would be inclined to say no regardless of how she looks. Of course, I have not been put in that situation yet. So maybe that has a lot to do with it. I don't necessarily feel comfortable with a women who wants sex before anything else. If that makes sense.

ChrisJones Level 5 Feb 12, 2018
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3

I was picky then and I’m picky now.

Gatovicolo Level 7 Feb 12, 2018
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3

I've never had sex with someone I wasn't attracted to.

Piece2YourPuzzle Level 6 Feb 12, 2018
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3

Hasn't happened to me...but if it did, it would go beyond any physical attraction. It would certainly never happen without knowing the woman first; her personality, her ambitions, her values. For me, sex is a mutual sharing, an exposing of one's most intimate, personal self, and not just knockin' boots in a rented hotel room. A person's beauty is on the inside, not the outside, and as they grow older [and 'lose their looks'] that becomes a lot more evident. There are a lot of beautiful people I would never even remotely consider having sex with, and a lot of beautiful souls whom I would...

twitch Level 5 Feb 12, 2018
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3

When I was younger, I was not too picky. I did too much of my thinking with the little head rather than my brain. Sex was the only think the little head thought about. Now, I am older and hopefully wiser, I want more than sex. I would rather be with someone that can hold an intelligent and stimulating conversation with me. She has to be smart, and be able to think for herself. Some years ago I turned away from a gorgeous woman, and turned down an offer to have sex with her after I got to know her. I dated her for a while and I did not want to jump in bed with her right away. I just lost interest in her due to her character. No one was more surprised than me when it happened.

noworry28 Level 6 Feb 12, 2018
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3

I suppose it would depend on how I feel at the time. I found that as I've gotten older I have gotten pickier. Also if a random person came up to me asking to have sex I would question what their real motivation was as that might seem to be to good to be true.

Chris_aka_C2 Level 3 Feb 12, 2018
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OK, a random person coming up and asking for sex? Never happens with people in their right mind. Crazy in lust because you are so gorgeous? That's more likely.

@Spinliesel People in their right mind no. Between 2am and 4am at the gay bar yes.

Edited

@Chris_aka_C2 Good to know. Thanks, Chris!

3

Its been a few years for me, but she should be at least a little attractive.

JoeMastle Level 6 Feb 12, 2018
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2

I am pickier. I've been on the market a long time and I've had to deal with a lot of shit so I deserve to be picky. I don't date much anymore but that's because I really don't like what's out there and I have a more than healthy disdain for the dating community at any rate. The only difference between now and when I was younger was when I was younger I had no options and no dates. Now I have plenty of options but I don't exactly like the options that have presented themselves. In the end dating as a means of distraction or whatever is pretty fucking dumb

IronHalo Level 3 Feb 12, 2018
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"I don't date much anymore but that's because I really don't like what's out there and I have a more than healthy disdain for the dating community at any rate." You have that right.

2

For some odd reason I have found that I'm less picky about who I would date. But that's just been my experience. I don't doubt what you're saying is true. Some people probably do get more picky.

MrControversy Level 5 Feb 12, 2018
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2

I guess I am beyond that point. Now, I wish that I had not turned down those invitations.

Dwight Level 6 Feb 12, 2018
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2

In 47 years of life I've never had a woman come up to me and say that so I can't test your hypothesis. It'd be cool if it happend though!

EricTrommater Level 7 Feb 12, 2018
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1

Yes, I would be more picky about someone I had sex with now than I would have been in my teens or very early 20's. I think some people learn as they age that sex is not worth it with some people and to avoid those situations. Now, if I am not attracted someone then definitely not going to happen.

TjallTjallOUTLK Level 5 Feb 13, 2018
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1

Sex is all about attraction. I think that one grows more selective with age. This is actually a counter intuitive conclusion and it may be a projection. I know that this is the case with me.


I would gently turn it down.

norealgod Level 4 Feb 13, 2018
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1

I have to be attracted to someone. sex is a great experience and I don't get all the stigma about it. if it feels good and you aren't hurting anyone then do it I think.

LeighShelton Level 7 Feb 13, 2018
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1

I did my wild-oat-sowing at the appropriate age (before 30) so I was much calmer after that. so yeah I was much pickier, because I knew more or less kinda what I liked, as opposed to just being my previous really open minded, self

sarahjustme Level 6 Feb 12, 2018
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