61 12

Do you think your birth order has impacted your personality?

Do you have siblings? Where do you fall amongst them? Do you think your personality was influenced by birth order?

I'm an eldest child. Since I am 7 & 10 years older than my brothers, I had to take care of them often. I cooked dinner, gave them baths, did more than my share of babysitting. I think it has impacted my level of responsibility growing up. Being so much older, I never experienced sibling rivalry and didn't feel competitive with my brothers at all. I felt more like an Aunt than a sister sometimes.

I was also old enough to experience what it was like to be an only child. A bit spoiled early on-- and also given a lot of attention prior to my brothers being born. This attention was a good thing, in terms of helping me learn to read, swim, cook, etc... fairly young, as I had that sort of one-on-one mentor-ship from all members of my family.

By silvereyes
Favorite
Please or register to see comments
61 comments
10

I am the middle child and I will cut you.

Lysistrata Level 5 Feb 12, 2018
Like
Reply

hmmmm I have a middle child brother who has cut me and hit me in teh face with a brick while I was asleep as a child. Maybe why I only had 2 kids, no middle child??

@Rugglesby A subconscious self-defense mechanism, no doubt.

lol

I am a middle child too. I am not cutting anyone, LOL!

9

I was the eldest of three kids, one brother and a step sister. When my mother passed, I went from 8 year old to the caregiver. It absolutely affected my maturation rate.

soundofthereign Level 4 Feb 12, 2018
Like
Reply
8

I was the first to be born of 5 of us, and yeah it does have a lot to do with how one's personality turns out. Why? Because all of the mistakes they made raising me they didn't do to my siblings.
As each of us were born each was treated differently.

Clare Level 6 Feb 12, 2018
Like
Reply
8

Oh definitely. As the first-born I was my parents' guinea pig and they sucked at it. Because I was the oldest I was expected to be an example to all four of my younger siblings and I was expected to watch them and their friends at times. Being the oldest of my siblings, I firmly believe, is part of why I don't want kids. I've dealt with enough garbage from kids. I don't want to subject myself to 18+ years of being responsible for another human being (or goodness forbid, multiple people).

xamountofstars Level 6 Feb 12, 2018
Like
Reply

Indeed. I often say it's why I decided not to have children. I am well aware of the reality and responsibility that comes along with it. For some, it's rewarding, but I'm content without.

@silvereyes It seems to confuse people, which is unfortunate. "Don't you love your siblings??" is too frequent a line. Well, no, but that isn't the issue. It's that I've had experience around kids and all ages up to 26. I'm just not interested. It's bad enough with people insisting that I will want "my own kids with a man" someday. If I can't handle noisy and nosey adults, why would I be want to surround myself with raucous kids?

I'm not good parent or even babysitter material. That's just how life is. -shrugs-

@xamountofstars I've also had many people start assuming that I am going to cave in-- or act like I'm missing some seriously important aspect of life. Treating me with some sort of pity. I actually love my brothers a lot, but I also know that children mean giving up my freedom and they are a ton of responsibility. If I had one, I'd just have to take it so seriously...

But yeah, I wish people would understand that there isn't one path to being happy in life. Kids aren't for everyone!

@silvereyes They most definitely are not. Somehow I feel like getting people to stop shoving their breeding opinions down throats is just as likely as getting religious folks to stop shoving their dogma down throats.

as the oldest myself I'm fully on your side: no kidding!

@silvereyes, not one single day of my life have I missed "having" my "own" children. does that make me a baby-devouring hag-monster?

Edited

@walklightly not unless you also like the taste of BBQ baby. LoL

Bo.gif @silvereyes, vegetarian style only.

5

I am number six of seven and my mother's only daughter. I was always very close to her. My dad, who adopted me when I was one, brought a daughter and a son into their marriage (two of the seven kids). My sister is seven years older than I and got married when I was nine (yes, she was only 16); so, mostly it was me and five brothers; and I was also surrounded by male cousins. I think this affected me more than birth order. I was a tomboy growing up; on the rare occasions when I would do something "girly," my brothers would tease me about it. I also felt like an outsider a lot of the time, and still do in many ways. I was always well behaved and shy. I never smart-mouthed my parents (as my brothers would at times) and I was always mature for my age. I have often wondered whether I would have turned out differently had I grown up with sisters instead of brothers--or at least had a sister closer to my own age. I am the ONLY atheist in the bunch--but, I think that has more to do with being the only one of seven to attend a university. Although, I had questions and doubts before I started college. The most difficult thing for me, when I left my religious beliefs behind, was losing the connection with my mother that I had always had.

Joanne Level 6 Feb 13, 2018
Like
Reply
5

I was the baby with two sisters 6 and 7 years older no brothers, oh my what I got away with spoiled beyond belief! It impacted me by respecting women , not being a Trumpian. I have more female friends than male and prefer their company which my birth order says is normal. Not a macho man am I.

buzz13 Level 4 Feb 13, 2018
Like
Reply

like my "little" brother, who is, as they say in germany, a softie. I love him.

5

I'm the youngest of three. I'd say yes it makes a difference. I can see the difference in my four kids. It's a trip.

Fearlessfreep Level 7 Feb 13, 2018
Like
Reply
5

never really thought about it but I am the youngest of 11 siblings and I am the one that everyone leans on and comes to with their needs and problems...


I always thought the youngest sibling was often the fuck up who is spoiled and lacking goals

twshield Level 8 Feb 13, 2018
Like
Reply

I'm sure the family dynamic has its impact too and the age gap between siblings. My youngest brother is the spoiled one. But I'm sure that's not true for every family.

@silvereyes very true. I am sure age gap is relevant .

5

I was an only child until at the age of 56 I discoved my big sister. Our personalities were of course formed without knowing each other. It has been fascinating to work out which parts of us are nature and which are nurture.

Forkbeard Level 4 Feb 13, 2018
Like
Reply
5

Yeah. I am the youngest of 4. Two older brothers and one older sister. No wonder I'm a wreck. Never had a chance. And they're all kitchen Catholics, too. Well, there it is. Anyone got Dr Phil's number? smile001.gif

David1955 Level 7 Feb 13, 2018
Like
Reply
5

Of course, it does but not sure if it's worse or better rather than just different. I'm the baby of the family.

LeighShelton Level 7 Feb 13, 2018
Like
Reply

yes, there are ups and downs to every slot in the pecking order.

it is what it is

5

I fit the most common traits of the middle child.

WilliamCharles Level 5 Feb 13, 2018
Like
Reply
4

yes, being the oldest of three clearly shaped part of my personality. I was adored the first three years of my life, in particular by my father. so when my sister (with twin, who didn't survive her first 10 weeks) arrived with all the drama attached, it was a hard drop into a different reality. since then I have a thing with sharing the sweetness of life - I'm working on it. when at 18 I felt I had to leave the nest & make my own life, the detachment process was harder for my parents - & thus for me too - than it was a few years later for my younger sibs, to claim freedom & independence. what's left is a toughness when it comes to leaving.

walklightly Level 7 Feb 13, 2018
Like
Reply
4

I am the third of three births within 29 months. I was the "baby" for seven years before my little brother was born. On the other side, my mother had a two-year-old, a one-year-old (my sister was born 13months before me) when I came along. I think my mother might have felt overwhelmed. I've noticed a fundamental difference in my philosophy over that of my siblings.

I_dont_know Level 6 Feb 13, 2018
Like
Reply
4

Yes. Oldest of 3 boys (and least favourite).

RobH86 Level 6 Feb 13, 2018
Like
Reply
4

Yes I think so. I am the middle child. My older brother was and is my mother's favorite child. My little sister was my father's favorite until he died. I always had to try a little harder to get attention, accolades, or even fair treatment (my brother bullied me) regardless of the fact I was by far the smartest of the three. That experience left me with relentless competitive drive, a chip on my shoulder, and an enduring understanding that meritocracy is undervalued in our society.

kensmile4u Level 6 Feb 13, 2018
Like
Reply

your description reminds me so much of my younger sister - & I (guiltless though) still feel bad for her about it all.

@walklightly Guiltless?Lol. I hope you and your lil sis have a good relationship.

Edited

@kensmile4u, for 37 years she wouldn't allow me much of any kind of relationship, being very resentful & envious (her word, not mine). then - out of the blue - she makes contact just a week ago. very exciting times, I tell ya smile001.gif

@walklightly That'a awesome! Good luck reconnecting with her. smile001.gif

Edited

@kensmile4u, thank you, kind sir smile009.gif

4

I have an older half-brother and half-sister. My half-brother lived with us for the first several years of my life. And I have a younger sister. I never really felt like a middle child, maybe because my half-siblings are considerably older, but I also didn't feel quite like the eldest. I'm unsure what that says about my personality, though. I guess it's as good a thing as any to blame my detachment, anxiety, misanthropy, etc., on.

resserts Level 7 Feb 13, 2018
Like
Reply
4

One sibling, my brother, was five years older than me. He still is as far as I know. He sucked at being a big brother. We mostly ignored each other, and still do. I wasn't spoiled like an only child or anything but I grew up pretty much doing my own thinking. No role models or mentors, just me, and I still am as far as I know. I wasn't interested if I was missing out on much, except if I had a sister I'd have been more tuned in to females I guess. I don't know, and perhaps that and the lack of caring or being cared for by siblings put me off on wanting to make my own family.

SACatWalker Level 6 Feb 13, 2018
Like
Reply
4

I'm 5 metric years older than my brother. There's never been any serious competition between us. As I grew into the black sheep he never treated me any different. We are tight. As kids, I remember, feeling protective especially if mom wasn't handy. don't worry much about him these days. He is almost twice my size.

hankster Level 7 Feb 13, 2018
Like
Reply
4

It didn't effect me but, it made my younger brother and sister Batshit crazy.

dbaecht Level 5 Feb 13, 2018
Like
Reply

you're kidding! I'm the oldest of 3, & became sort of the black sheep due to non-conforming. my sibs are very straight-laced - might one call that batshit crazy? smile002.gif

@walklightly, I'm not kidding.

@dbaecht, I was smile002.gif

4

Yes. I was definitely a spoiled brat. My brother had to fight for his right to listen to his kind of music and watch things on TV. By the time it got to me they had given up. So, smooth sailing. Lol

Levi_Hinton Level 6 Feb 13, 2018
Like
Reply
4

I am the stereotypical middle child. Black sheep of the family. First to leave home. First to join the military. First to have a kid. I've made all the mistakes and done all the things that warrant awkward holiday conversation. I offer no apologies.

macrobius Level 6 Feb 13, 2018
Like
Reply
4

It’s just my brother and me and I’m two years older. I don’t think that’s affected my personality at all, being raised to be independent has.

PeppermintDreads Level 7 Feb 13, 2018
Like
Reply
4

oldest of 6 and nope

RandyWells Level 5 Feb 13, 2018
Like
Reply
4

Without a doubt. Everything was my responsibility

SherryMartin Level 6 Feb 13, 2018
Like
Reply
Write Comment
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content read full disclaimer
  • Agnostic.com is a non-profit community for atheists, agnostics, humanists, freethinkers, skeptics and others happy without religion!