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Am I doomed relationship wise being a minority in a minority?

Coming from a black atheist, who numerous girls have either left me before a relationship could take place or during a relationship when I told them. It seems many black folk are ultra religious and any mention of nothing believing is just crazy.

By chas1
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22 comments

3

My girl's 1st ever boyfriend was black. He was and is the sweetest kid. They're still friends.
That said one of the reasons they broke up is he is very religious and my girl wasn't raised that way, on top of her being open minded socially.
She's your age. If you are willing to step outside your race that would widen the field.
There are a couple of young black girls on this site. One issue here is it seems the under 30 set don't hang around much or long. I've tried to get my girl to consider joining but she has no interest.
Posting raises your visibility.
Atheists are a fast growing segment of society. Just look at all the churches for sale on real estate sites.
Best wishes to you

Qualia Level 8 Dec 17, 2018
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I completely agree!

so whats the selling of churches on real estate sites got to do with what you are saying

3

As an aging asexual atheist in Alabama, you'll be fine. Don't be an asshat, bathe regularly, and practice empathy.
Also, if you're looking for someone to "complete you", you'll never be okay. A relationship is SHARING what you both have. Be cool with you WHILE you're looking. Invest in self-improvement so that you'll be an even better partner when the time comes.

Aware1 Level 4 Dec 17, 2018
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Well said

3

20 and doomed? Jesus!

RiverRick Level 7 Dec 17, 2018
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Hey, we've all been 20. It's a rough time for many.

@Carin I get it... I grew up during the cold war where the USSR was going to drop the "A" Bomb every other day.

@RiverRick I remember those drills from kindergarten--how on earth would that have protected us if an A bomb really had been dropped? I was 20 in the 80s though, & still fairly miserable. I don't think external factors are a main cause.

Edited

@Carin Wow, did you really have drills for that. In the UK we had some particularly silly Pubic Information films and that was about it. The whole British mentality was summed up in an animated film called When The Wind Blows. It showed the futility of those films but how we believed the government would save us! Very dark but worth a look if you get the chance.

@Geoffrey51 Yup! We watched "Duck and Cover" for the first few years of school. It taught you how to curl up in a ball and shield your face from the flash as well as crawling under your desk to protect yourself from falling rubble after the bomb went off. Even going into middle school and high school it seemed like it was DEFCON 1 every month or so.

3

You are 20 years old. Have patience.

Spinliesel Level 8 Dec 17, 2018
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2

I agree. I can’t really speak for other folks, but it certainly SEEMS like us black folks are more prickly about atheism than others. Guys I’ve dated are always pretty surprised at my nonbelief. Eve some of the biggest heathens around tend to look at you sideways.

Essie Level 5 Jan 8, 2019
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2

Do you not want to date women of other races?

Carin Level 8 Dec 17, 2018
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Good question. I believe he is just disheartened because you just about have to completely wipe out a whole race. Many people don't date outside their race. Times are changing. Just slowly. It also depends where you live as well. In the south. You can all but hang it up. Lol

2

Yep , you are doomed . Merry Thingy!

Hebert54 Level 7 Dec 17, 2018
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Not helpful.

@DoctoralZombie Grosing up helps

1

Well all you have to do is KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT and you will be fine

calendarman Level 4 Jan 7, 2019
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1

Two thing my late wife and I never discussed,was religion and Politics 27 years,without a major fight,or drama,sure,some "Differences of opinions",but the cops were never called,and we went to bed together at night,respecting each other.

Mike1947 Level 7 Dec 22, 2018
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1

Hang in there. You will find someone. Not all black females are religious fools. I'm sure are some enlightened ones in this country some where.

freedom41 Level 7 Dec 18, 2018
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😂😂😂"somewhere"

1

You'll find someone

skepticaljerk Level 4 Dec 18, 2018
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1

You're only doomed if you think you are.

It may take a solid effort, and some time and patience, but there's someone out there for ya.

evergreen Level 8 Dec 17, 2018
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1

You're to young to be worrying about that stuff. Enjoy yourself now. Work to invest in your own future. It will all turn out fine.

Byrdsfan Level 8 Dec 17, 2018
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1

You'll find someone that appreciates you for you. It just takes time and patience. Also, don't compromise in this either. I've dated my fair share of "believers" and it always goes bad.

JoeVZ Level 3 Dec 17, 2018
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1

no one is doomed unless they consider themselves doomed.

g

genessa Level 8 Dec 17, 2018
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0

It all stems from the relationship your having with yourself. If you keep finding yourself in the same old same old its because that’s what your attracted to. If you want a change in relationships then you have to change the relationship your having with yourself.

Debbera Level 4 Jan 15, 2019
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0

...I agree with your observations; across races this
is a fact;my self and folks I know try to participate
in social/cultural activities that appeal to us that are
neutral of religious ties.Open minded people have
personality traits just as the religious do!
After I tested/studied my own traits-i could
gravitate to ladies that are compatible.Thats a solid base for a relationship of any sort.U tube;library- there are
resources -making the search manageable (wide world)
Knowing who your looking for
matters as much as who u let close,also.
Thanks for the post,the best in reaching your goals...

BBJong Level 7 Dec 31, 2018
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Dating sites have questionnaires to find the compatibles. Have you heard if they work?

@sweetcharlotte it reduces the numbers;
if u go to the supermarket,10 might be comparable
, the fairgrounds 100 might be compatible_
For a time I thought Plenty of Fish had all nurses on its site

@BBJong Did you ever hear of a guy named BB Cunningham? He grew up in Memphis, played a guitar, had one hit record, an instrumental, in the late 50's. Each time I see your picture, I think of him. We were teenagers and talked on the phone allot. [rockabilly.nl]

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0

From the very beginning,before emotions get involved,be right up front with her,she may adjust her thinking,marriages have taken place between Agnostics and the partner who attending Church service many time a week. But each case is different.

Mike1947 Level 7 Dec 22, 2018
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0

I’ve been married to a religous woman for 43 years and it’s not that much of a problem as we’ve agreed not to discuss religion or my lack of religion.

Trajan61 Level 8 Dec 21, 2018
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0

I definitely feel your pain. You might have to date outside your race.

MrChange Level 7 Dec 20, 2018
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0

Chas1, post a photo and bio... let people get to know you. Don't assume they'll be turned off by your beliefs before you give them a chance. And there are lots of young women who would find a free-thinking young man of color a highly attractive proposition.

PalacinkyPDX Level 8 Dec 18, 2018
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0
DoctoralZombie Level 7 Dec 17, 2018
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