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What are you unashamed of?

After 10 years of research, Dr Brené Brown found that there is an epidemic of shame in the U.S. No doubt, this shame epidemic is not limited to the U.S.

For many, it may take quite a while and a lot of hard work to overcome years of indoctrination from shame/fear based religions, primary caregivers, and society in general.

Dr Paul Eckman, from the University of California, states that shame is the most private of emotions and that humans have yet to evolve a facial expression that clearly communicates it.

Psychiatrist Peter Loader states that people cover up or compensate for deep feelings of shame with attitudes of contempt, superiority, domineering or bullying, self-deprecation, or obsessive perfectionism.

The findings from Dr Brown’s research also showed that shame is highly correlated with depression, addictions, and eating disorders.

"A child’s self-identity is shaped around the things they hear about themselves. A study of schoolchildren found that only 4% had not been the targets of adult shaming; including “rejecting, demeaning, terrorizing, criticizing (destructively), or insulting statements” (Solomon & Serres, 1999).

While it took years to atrophy the negative wiring,

I am unashamed for being myself.
I am unashamed for being true to myself.
I am unashamed for having loose skin after significant weight loss.
I am unashamed for having stretch marks caused by pregnancy and weight gain.
I am unashamed for sagging breasts caused by mastitis, nursing and gravity.
I am unashamed for not meeting cultural standards of beauty.
**I am unashamed for being female.

What are you unashamed of?

VictoriaNotes 9 Dec 23
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27 comments

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0

Ralph Waldo Emerson inspired country bumpkin preacher Garfield to give up fundamentalist shame and move up to become President of the United States ....I have never been ashamed of reasoning out of religious lies imposed upon me: tooth fairy, ishtar boy bunnies laying candy eggs on dogshit lawns, Santa Claus and virgin birth of alleged baby gawds in dirty donkey stables....by age 5, I was proud of my Atheist heroes Albert Einstein and Walt Disney ASHAMED INSTEAD of my racist religious bigot parents and family....I LEARNED not to be ashamed of my penis erections and ejaculations....I encouraged my lovers and bride not to be ashamed of their beautiful vagina labia and clitoris nor leaking lactating nipples stained their cover up clothes while feeding our babies....and I unlearned the shame I was taught to feel when found attractive by gay men....I accepted flattery and said no to their love while explaining my loyalty to my spouse despite offers of superiour fellatio....my shame is reserved for my genocidal polluter GREEDY nation obsessed with McCarthyistic theocratic fascist banksters for Zionist conquest of Palestine

11

I use to be ashamed of my physical body due to being born with Cerebral Palsy, It took my a long time to understand that your physical outside doesn't make who you are as a person. When I was younger, I was not a nice person inside and in turn made me a bad person period. Once I learn to like myself, and then as a person I changed.

8

I feel proud to be an atheist, feminist, Democrat and a strong, independent woman

6

I have done things in my life of which I am not proud, and which I will not repeat. Those transgressions were ones of human weakness and poor judgment. Over those things I feel regret, not shame. Bu \, at age 81, t am not ashamed of myself or of my life as a whole. I feel that I have done pretty well, given the circumstances I came from. I am comfortable with who I am and with the path of my life. .

5

THANK YOU I am unashamed to be a proud atheist, Buddhist, Black man.

4

I am unashamed of the fact that I am a strong, outspoken, smart woman who won't back down from an argument if I'm right. (If I am shown new evidence that shows I'm wrong, of course I back down -- didin't I say I was smart?) I had a successful career in a male dominated field and held a number of leadership positions in the organization. Some people (usually men) tried to get me to soften up, but I ignored them. The most frequent adjective that was used to describe me was 'intimidating.' I LOVED it.

4

I am unashamed of admitting I am wrong when I realize that I am

3

These are things my toxic fam consistently tries to shame me about to no avail:

** I am unashamed about graduating from university or pursuing a higher education
I am unashamed about graduating with honours from the social sciences
I am unashamed of being agnostic
I am unashamed of being messy and not a little neat freak housewife type
I am unashamed of helping the downtrodden, including the homeless, or volunteering my time and efforts to help charities
I am unashamed of being a feminist
I am unashamed of having an opinion
I am unashamed of stubbornly sticking to my core principles and values in life
I am unashamed of spending my money on prepared food or junk food to survive
I am unashamed that I am choosing to go childFREE
I am unashamed that I do not believe in marriage for myself

3

I am unashamed for believing the truth matters more than feelings, in this political climate in this religious world.

I share the same view and I get myself in trouble because of it!

3

I'm not ashamed of anything, because I've done nothing to be ashamed of in word and deed. I try to lead a good life. I work hard at it. I can't always say that about myself. I was a total asshole when I was in my teens and up to my mid-20s, for several reasons. A large part of it was not having gone through life's requisite knocks and dings—those really tough landings that either make you a better person or turn you into an embittered cynic. I wish that I could have been a better person way back in the day, but since there's nothing I can do about it, I've moved on and learned not to repeat the same mistakes.

3

This really made me think. I have been ashamed for so long, for many reasons. I am just starting to accept myself for the person I am.

I am not ashamed of my caring, giving heart! I was shamed for too long by an ex friend for being that type of person with everyone but him. I am no longer ashamed. Instead, I need to be a little more guarded of who, how much, and why.

3

I am ashamed that I must mention his name is spelled Ekman

Ralph Waldo Emerson gave commencement address heard the 1st day student future President Garfield arrived upon campus...in his White House diary: "that was the day my intellectual life began" as he abandoned his childhood country bumpkin preacher career Ohio

3

The world only makes you who you are not, if you let it. I learned in my mid twenties the only way to like me and my life was to just be me. It was a great awakening, and l am glad l figured it out so young.

2

I'm going to be very honest, I'm ashamed of my small penis.

Masturbate often and your penis will grow in abilities....be proud of who you are a man who can give love to yourself and a lover

2

I live in Chicago and I like 7-11 pizza.

Price is right and made to order FAST

@GreenAtheist Hey, you've got multiple accounts. Not cool.

2

... & i quite like this one, from one of Armistead Maupin's books: the world changes in direct proportion to the number of people willing to be honest about their lives. different wording, similar effect.

2

i am unashamed for being who, what & how i am, with or without reason or excuse.
i am unashamed for having no ambition.
i am unashamed for being left without libido, yet still yearning for male companionship.
i am unashamed for having given up on establishing a relationship with either of my siblings.
i am unashamed of often wishing to be by my self, or rather share my time with independant animals than humans.
i am unashamed of living the life of a spoiled, retired nomad, member of the privileged society of the western "civilised" world.
i am unashamed of knowing shame, in particular body shame & my lifelong struggle against it.
i am unashamed of being, just being.

2

I'm not really ashamed of anything about myself. I'm a little embarrassed about how much weight I've put on over the last few years, but life circumstances and health issues have put me in this position, and there's not much I can do about it right now. Everything I've been through and every decision I've made has helped create the person I've become. I've learned to embrace that, mistakes and all. Mistakes are opportunities to learn, so as long as you learn the lesson presented, there's not really anything to be ashamed of, in my opinion.

2

Unashamed of just being myself under any circumstances.....detest phony individuals.....I'm a bit crazy....very opinionated....and talkative.....and at 72 back in college for knowledge....(Philosophy) part time.....wife left earth 09/09/17 and miss her dearly....but I go on and never drag other people down.....stood would me thru years of PTSD (Vietnam combat medic)....and out the other side so my crazy now is fun and spur of the moment ......college is my 5th to date !!!

2

Shame=the religious lies of original inherited species SIN. ...a Norwegian word meaning miss the mark in archery. ...the fucked up King James bibles have been mistranslated at least 5 times from hebrew, aramaic, greek, latin, german et al into middle english. ...the alleged purification rituals of baptism and eucharist....turning grape juice&crackers into magic blood&skin to eat cannibal spirit delusions

2

I am unashamed of being a staunch conservative pro gun atheist.

2

I'm unashamed of being unable to abide BS, propganda & lies from anyone or any source.

1

The kids would sing Rick is stick Rick is dick. Probably why I'm ashamed of dick and skinny body.

1

I'm not ashamed of anything that I am aware of. Just keep going making people happy and pissing them off. Don't relate to any shameful context anywhere

1

I was shamed much of my life like any average person.

But in the last year's I learned things from my reading and thinking that let me release my ego and now I am unashamed about anything!

1

I can't say I feel shame for anything I've ever done, really. I'm sure if I think about it for a while, I would think of something (I'm a pretty straight arrow and always have been). More often than not, I feel ashamed for things other people did...sometimes things people did before I was ever born. I feel like I should have been able to stop someone from doing this or that, something that had consequences down through the years. Maybe if I had done this or that, or said this or that, or whatever, maybe they never would have done X, Y, or Z, and all that other crap wouldn't have happened. I became a teacher almost 20 years ago, and that little complex I have was made a bit worse when everyone around you tells you every behavior any kid in your class ever has (or has had) is your fault. They tell you this especially when you are a new teacher because you think everything is your fault anyway. I can still remember in my second year I got a student who had gotten in so many fights in her original school that her mother had her go live with her grandmother and thus transfer to my school. I already had a class from hell that period, but they put her in my class. A week later the girl got in a fight at lunch and was suspended. At my next evaluation, the administrator said she "wasn't sure" if the girl got into a fight because she was in my class or not. A) the girl was transfered across the entire state because she kept getting in fights at her old school. B) she got in a fight at lunch, which was before my class in the daily schedule. C) she didn't get in a fight with anyone in my class, about anyone or anything in my class, nor about anything anyone from my class said or did in relation to her. D) she never got in any fights when she was IN my class, and had no problems with anyone in my class (even though it was the class from hell). and E) how could it have possibly been my fault that this girl with a pattern of fighting got in a fight at lunch a week into being in our school when I only saw her 1 hour a day? What kind of magic wand do they want teachers to pull out, because I'll pull it out as soon as someone shows me where the hell it is. (Yes, I felt ashamed and guilty for not doing something that would have stopped that girl from getting in a fight at lunch...even though I literally had no idea what that something would have been, and still don't.)

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