After 10 years of research, Dr Brené Brown found that there is an epidemic of shame in the U.S. No doubt, this shame epidemic is not limited to the U.S.
For many, it may take quite a while and a lot of hard work to overcome years of indoctrination from shame/fear based religions, primary caregivers, and society in general.
Dr Paul Eckman, from the University of California, states that shame is the most private of emotions and that humans have yet to evolve a facial expression that clearly communicates it.
Psychiatrist Peter Loader states that people cover up or compensate for deep feelings of shame with attitudes of contempt, superiority, domineering or bullying, self-deprecation, or obsessive perfectionism.
The findings from Dr Brown’s research also showed that shame is highly correlated with depression, addictions, and eating disorders.
"A child’s self-identity is shaped around the things they hear about themselves. A study of schoolchildren found that only 4% had not been the targets of adult shaming; including “rejecting, demeaning, terrorizing, criticizing (destructively), or insulting statements” (Solomon & Serres, 1999).
While it took years to atrophy the negative wiring,
I am unashamed for being myself.
I am unashamed for being true to myself.
I am unashamed for having loose skin after significant weight loss.
I am unashamed for having stretch marks caused by pregnancy and weight gain.
I am unashamed for sagging breasts caused by mastitis, nursing and gravity.
I am unashamed for not meeting cultural standards of beauty.
**I am unashamed for being female.
What are you unashamed of?
Ralph Waldo Emerson inspired country bumpkin preacher Garfield to give up fundamentalist shame and move up to become President of the United States ....I have never been ashamed of reasoning out of religious lies imposed upon me: tooth fairy, ishtar boy bunnies laying candy eggs on dogshit lawns, Santa Claus and virgin birth of alleged baby gawds in dirty donkey stables....by age 5, I was proud of my Atheist heroes Albert Einstein and Walt Disney ASHAMED INSTEAD of my racist religious bigot parents and family....I LEARNED not to be ashamed of my penis erections and ejaculations....I encouraged my lovers and bride not to be ashamed of their beautiful vagina labia and clitoris nor leaking lactating nipples stained their cover up clothes while feeding our babies....and I unlearned the shame I was taught to feel when found attractive by gay men....I accepted flattery and said no to their love while explaining my loyalty to my spouse despite offers of superiour fellatio....my shame is reserved for my genocidal polluter GREEDY nation obsessed with McCarthyistic theocratic fascist banksters for Zionist conquest of Palestine
I use to be ashamed of my physical body due to being born with Cerebral Palsy, It took my a long time to understand that your physical outside doesn't make who you are as a person. When I was younger, I was not a nice person inside and in turn made me a bad person period. Once I learn to like myself, and then as a person I changed.
I have done things in my life of which I am not proud, and which I will not repeat. Those transgressions were ones of human weakness and poor judgment. Over those things I feel regret, not shame. Bu \, at age 81, t am not ashamed of myself or of my life as a whole. I feel that I have done pretty well, given the circumstances I came from. I am comfortable with who I am and with the path of my life. .
You know what? Up until tonight, I could have said I was ashamed of many things, but something about this post struck a chord with me. To all those who were happy to let me find, hold and wallow in guilt I say "I forgive you". To the Catholic Religion that taught me everything I know about shame and guilt I say..."I forgive you". To all those who feel like they are in a place to judge me, I say...."I forgive you". I am no longer buying into any assessments of me but my own. Who on this earth can tell us more about ourselves than us? Thank you Victoria, for showing me what $100 an hour therapists failed to.
I am unashamed of the fact that I am a strong, outspoken, smart woman who won't back down from an argument if I'm right. (If I am shown new evidence that shows I'm wrong, of course I back down -- didin't I say I was smart?) I had a successful career in a male dominated field and held a number of leadership positions in the organization. Some people (usually men) tried to get me to soften up, but I ignored them. The most frequent adjective that was used to describe me was 'intimidating.' I LOVED it.
These are things my toxic fam consistently tries to shame me about to no avail:
** I am unashamed about graduating from university or pursuing a higher education
I am unashamed about graduating with honours from the social sciences
I am unashamed of being agnostic
I am unashamed of being messy and not a little neat freak housewife type
I am unashamed of helping the downtrodden, including the homeless, or volunteering my time and efforts to help charities
I am unashamed of being a feminist
I am unashamed of having an opinion
I am unashamed of stubbornly sticking to my core principles and values in life
I am unashamed of spending my money on prepared food or junk food to survive
I am unashamed that I am choosing to go childFREE
I am unashamed that I do not believe in marriage for myself
I'm not ashamed of anything, because I've done nothing to be ashamed of in word and deed. I try to lead a good life. I work hard at it. I can't always say that about myself. I was a total asshole when I was in my teens and up to my mid-20s, for several reasons. A large part of it was not having gone through life's requisite knocks and dings—those really tough landings that either make you a better person or turn you into an embittered cynic. I wish that I could have been a better person way back in the day, but since there's nothing I can do about it, I've moved on and learned not to repeat the same mistakes.
This really made me think. I have been ashamed for so long, for many reasons. I am just starting to accept myself for the person I am.
I am not ashamed of my caring, giving heart! I was shamed for too long by an ex friend for being that type of person with everyone but him. I am no longer ashamed. Instead, I need to be a little more guarded of who, how much, and why.
I am unashamed of myself in general. I was raised as a Baptist and felt ashamed for a plethora of things over which I had no control, including being a sexual female. I am not necessarily proud of some things I have done in my life, but being emotionally stable is being able to say, "Yeah, I messed up, what did I learn and how will I avoid doing it again?"
i am unashamed for being who, what & how i am, with or without reason or excuse.
i am unashamed for having no ambition.
i am unashamed for being left without libido, yet still yearning for male companionship.
i am unashamed for having given up on establishing a relationship with either of my siblings.
i am unashamed of often wishing to be by my self, or rather share my time with independant animals than humans.
i am unashamed of living the life of a spoiled, retired nomad, member of the privileged society of the western "civilised" world.
i am unashamed of knowing shame, in particular body shame & my lifelong struggle against it.
i am unashamed of being, just being.
I'm not really ashamed of anything about myself. I'm a little embarrassed about how much weight I've put on over the last few years, but life circumstances and health issues have put me in this position, and there's not much I can do about it right now. Everything I've been through and every decision I've made has helped create the person I've become. I've learned to embrace that, mistakes and all. Mistakes are opportunities to learn, so as long as you learn the lesson presented, there's not really anything to be ashamed of, in my opinion.
Unashamed of just being myself under any circumstances.....detest phony individuals.....I'm a bit crazy....very opinionated....and talkative.....and at 72 back in college for knowledge....(Philosophy) part time.....wife left earth 09/09/17 and miss her dearly....but I go on and never drag other people down.....stood would me thru years of PTSD (Vietnam combat medic)....and out the other side so my crazy now is fun and spur of the moment ......college is my 5th to date !!!
Shame=the religious lies of original inherited species SIN. ...a Norwegian word meaning miss the mark in archery. ...the fucked up King James bibles have been mistranslated at least 5 times from hebrew, aramaic, greek, latin, german et al into middle english. ...the alleged purification rituals of baptism and eucharist....turning grape juice&crackers into magic blood&skin to eat cannibal spirit delusions