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Hugs & kisses. I'm British. We don't do hugs & kisses when we say hello. Or we didn't, but now everybody does. My question is this : How do I stop people who lunge in to hug & kiss when we're introduced? I don't want this physical contact in public by people I don't know. Does anyone have any deflecting moves or gestures so as not to offend but also not to receive such social niceties? There is a particularly "friendly" male neighbour who gave me a full-on hug yesterday while his wife looked on disapprovingly. As a single woman, I am of course assumed to be after everybody's husband.

GoldenDoll 7 Feb 19
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44 comments

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12

Step back, with your hand out. Grab their hand to shake it, first.

I agree, put that hand out there as quickly as possible. If that don't work and the husband comes in for a hug, look his wife directly in the eye and wink. I'm sure the wife will ensure the hugging ceases.

@Darthpug - I'm afraid that would only fuel the village fire of "she's after your husband" and I'm keen not to alienate the people who are friendly!

9

This is just funny...

This one has actual helpful advice...

I was gonna put up an alternative video much like the first one. Lol

6

Step back and give them the "Namaste"

Or a namastay away from me!

That's totally freak them out.

5

I have not experienced the hugs and kisses on greeting strangers that seems a rather strange custom to me. Hugs to me seem that they are a thing better reserved for friends or family as a greeting or parting.

4

Quick knee to the groin.

3

I'm a brit too - Awkward eh! could you carry a large folded umbrella and point it in his direction. The direct approach might work "Sorry I don't do hugs!"

3

Flat hand out with the stop signal, but smiling, say "Not today, sorry". But immediately offer the handshake. Give a firm squeeze and two brisk shakes, while saying "Great to see you!" with full eye contact. Also compliment him on how his hair looks.

@Donotbelieve In that case, tell him he smells terrific, and smack him on the rump!

3

I am a hugger myself. There are some people I sense their vibe that they don't like or want a hug, So I just don't it, a hand shake is almost always acceptable.

I am a member of a family of huggers and I hug everyone, men, women, children but I respect everyone's right and desire NOT to be hugged or touched and I usually ask if I can get a hug if there is some question and no is perfectly acceptable to me.

3

Good question. If I see it coming, and it is someone I do not know well, I will turn away but it does make me look rude. Most of the time, I just put up with it if it comes from another woman.

2
2

You have to be fast but when they're stepping in arms raised I stiff arm their shoulder and push them away and say out loud not to touch me. They will not do it again.

2

Hand up in a stop motion and say I'm not a hugger. If they persist, push back.

Betty Level 8 Feb 19, 2018
2

Hugging and kissing when introduced is out of order. I'm British too but, the Spanish IMHO seem to have it worked out. When first introduced you nod. The second time you shake hands. The third time, or after not seeing them for a while, you kiss, lightly, on both cheeks. You don't hug.

And while I'm on the subject, what do you guys think about people who give a "side hug"? Why just not bother?

Thanks, but how do I stop it?

@GoldenDoll I dunno. Maybe ask if they like their space invaded too and grope their testicles?

It's not second nature to me, but I've become more accustomed to hugging since living in Louisiana. There are a couple people in my world who give the best ever hugs -- people I really care about. There is also at least one who does the side hug. Side hugs also make me think "Why bother?" I would not be offended at all if somebody told me "I'm not really a hugger."

Side hugs!!! This is an issue!

1

As I grow older, I find people are growing more tactile much to my regret. Bro-hugs, chest bumps, fist bumps. Jeez. One good three pump handshake and I'm good for about 6 weeks. But if I admit this to their face, I'm the bad guy. Go figure.

1

I have found it is usually effective to carefully evaluate each encounter, smile and if your detect the slightest attempt of a hug attempt from the other person, place your hand out and for a firm hand shake and "nice to meet you or "hello" etc. leaving lots of room so they can no longer initiate a hug.

1

I would suggest quickly extending the hand you wish to shake and hover your other one over the Taser® hanging on your belt.

1

Some times I just need a hug

1

Bare your canines and hiss

1

Be polite and calm and tell them. fuck their feelings as there not respecting yours. body language should say everything.

1

If I'm trying to be gallant, I take their hand and touch to my forehead. Otherwise I just shake it.

I play it by ear and look for how they receive me. I'm quite into a hug but it has to be a two-way thing.

1

LOL. In Argentina -where I am from- people never greeted e/o with hugs and kisses....but, during my last visit to the homeland I noticed this healthy tradition had began to fade; many now kiss & hug.

How I stop them? Easy. When they approach me with their arm ready to squeeze me... I extend my hand to them. They hesitate for few seconds and, then, shake my hand.

1

I'm with the others who said shake hands. Just extend your hand straight towards them to maintain space when you offer it.

JimG Level 8 Feb 19, 2018
1

wear a very pointy Pinocchio nose. always carry around a big box with both arms.

LOLlllllllllllllll I loooooove this suggestion.

1

Smile and say "no touching " lol

1

Yes you may be assumed to be after everybody's husband but that shouldn't work with what they think,for hugs and kisses I think the world is changing very fast with people from different backgrounds and culture so you have to say yes /no something in order not to offend anyone or yourself

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