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Challenges of loving someone.

So... What are the challenges of loving someone? Someone you are just getting to know, but you felt the sense of love? Is it a self-deception? Do we fall into it regardless? What joys and what pains await us there?

Do we tell ourselves that the past experiences were painful, so, really, don't go there? Or do we fall unconcerned about the depth and the breadth of the fall? Do we shake our fists about the world when it fails, cursing our inability to stop ourselves? Or do we succumb to the feeling, and fall spiraling down to the unknown landing?

What costs and what prizes?

AtheistReader 7 Jan 16
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13 comments

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1

I have never been with any woman who was like any other woman I have been with. I never have and still don't have a fear of falling for someone based on my past. If it is there, l will go for it.

1

Do we control desire?
I fall forward every time. Then curse myself but without complete remorse because I believe.

1

Do we control desire?

2

I used to be more open, loving and trusting than I am now, very much so. It took a betrayal of the worst kind to change me. I honestly don't know if I will be capable in future of completely letting my guard down again, and I'm not so sure that's a bad thing.

Deb57 Level 8 Jan 16, 2019
3

Many challenges - but the final decision to love or not, is that of the individual. To let go . To feel what you feel regardless of the possible negative outcome.

What's the worst that can happen ? Your heart gets ripped up. But very few actually die of that - even though , for a time, they may feel like they want to. We live - we go on - often to love again.

2

When we are young, inexperienced, and with raging hormones we can sometimes delude ourselves into seeing things in a person that we want to see, but are not there. Such self-deception can cost us dearly. Reasoning people learn from their mistakes and do not repeat them.

Agreed...the thing about it, many people don’t realize that the same experience will continue to present itself to us, until we understand and ‘fix it!’

3

I was in love

@PalacinkyPDX yeah

2

It's better to have pain than not to have ever felt the pure elation from love. Even as pain subsides the fondness in memory of love remains.

...not so much if they were lost to you! What may be left is, ‘what could have been!’

7

Every person is an individual in this world... Your past experiences have nothing to do with a new love... Often , people tend to stereotype men or women in general based on past experiences... But how many past relationships have you had to make such a generalization? Certain not thousands, not hundreds, maybe a few dozen? That wouldn't be scientific at all...

I concur

@PalacinkyPDX not ignore but certainly not to the exclusion of everything else

1

I wonder is there any value in running the script of past experience(s) in this matter. "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." William Shakespeare. Tis interesting to note that even love is likened to a game, a poor analogy.

Its Shakespeare lovey

@Amisja I thought so maam but when I Googled it Alfred lend us a tenner son popped up.

I suppose that the works Willy Shakespeare was not a bad attempt at literature, however, it took someone of the calibre of James Joyce to revolutionize literature. Hamlet's soliloquy is a mere 33 lines compared to Leopold Bloom in Ulysses.

William Shakespeare left his wife their 'second best bed' in his last will and testament, probate records show. I wonder who got the best bed, was it the The Dark Lady of the Sonnets?

@ASTRALMAX Go with your instincts.

@Amisja I agree with you, however, I think that the current term in psychology is 'drives' giving the illusion that something new was discovered.

@PalacinkyPDX True..😉

4

Every experience of love is an opportunity to learn about yourself. This I'm understanding more and more, and being able to do that gives me more confidence moving forward. That being said, even the best possible potential partner means taking a chance. And that's all I got on this.

2

That is a ‘head,’ full of possibilities! What if it is lop-sided, one person is smitten and the other one not so much? Is the whole thing...just a fantasy, anyway? (As a realist, fantasy leaves me feeling lonely and on the sad side!) After the ‘crazy period,’ will there be anything left to work with? Maybe this romantic pairing is a modern day invention ...glorified after a few love stories were handed down long ago? Stories can be whatever we want them to be, that’s the ‘rub!’

6

Fall in love and ask questions and deal with pain later. Because if you really think about it, just wondering if you should or shouldn't is pain in itself.

Go ahead. Fall in love. What do you have to lose? Nothing you can't gain back. Yeah, it might take longer, but live for the moment.

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