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If the person you were most hurt by was suffering in front of you and you could do something to stop their suffering, would you?

Why or why not?

AMGT 8 Feb 25
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29 comments

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5

My ex-to-be hurt me well beyond what I ever could have imagined. But, despite that, I do not want anything bad to happen to him; and I would do what I could to help ease any physical suffering he might be going through, if I were able. Now, as far as mental anguish he claims to feel for what he did to me--he can suffer with that for the rest of his effing life-- and I feel no obligation to try to make him feel better about it.

We have that in common. ...my ex is so obviously suffering from guilt staying loyal to her ex and their 3 teen children than honoring our marriage and our then 4 yr old daughter. .....betrayal has a psychic price to pay and only her confessions can possibly heal her ....I "forgave" her tacitly 10 years ago guiding our child through prep school and University of Iowa Mechanical Engineering. ...washed my Pontius Pilate hands in my closet. ....it's impossible to "save" her ....she must save herself rationally not escalate old religious brainwashing she never modeled during our Atheist marriage. ...her ex is an Atheist also with zero ethics only manipulative cruelty like Joe Stalin. ...avoiding all child support payments for children 13 15 & 17 only possible with the coerced consent of his ex she collected only the first 10 years when children were 3, 5 & 7

4

In a sense I've been in this position and yes I did everything in my power without a second thought.

It really depends on the context and severity however and in some cases I can't say how I'd react.

4

I would help.
I'm not a petty monster.

3

That depends on whether "stop their suffering" is a euphemism. evil laugh

Yes, I would do whatever is reasonable to end their pain, as I feel there's a moral imperative to do so and would feel ashamed of myself for allowing anyone or anything to suffer needlessly, but I wouldn't stick around afterward.

3

The only person who fits the criteria is my ex. Would I stop her suffering, yes I would, and only because of my daughters, it's their mum. If we had no kids, in all honesty, I'm not sure. I like to think that when push came to shove I would but in her case I'm really not certain.

3

Depends on how evil they are.

3

depends on how well they begged.

3

Yes, I would. I am a soft touch, and I have a little Charlie Brown in me. On a slightly different subject, your picture reminded me of one of my favorite of those drawings that used to be passed around at work.

3

Depends. You could dial-in variables that could argue for either choice.

2

I know what I did when it happened to me.

There are a lot of bad feelings between me and my exwife, mostly because she got engaged the same day I signed the divorce papers. Tried to forgive, people don't mention how long that shit takes when they say it's a good idea. Now my daughter goes to a therapist and we have that 45 minutes where we both have to sit in this tiny waiting hallway while she has her session, usually in icy smartphone silence. Then her dad died.

She had the same face on she always did, just without the smartphone out. I remember when she lost her mom, then her brother. Now this. I remember her dad was a lot like me (kind of useless, but with a good heart). And, for the first time in years, I asked after her, and engaged in how she was doing. It wasn't a grand dam breaking, but it released a lot for her. It was a good talk, and I know that doesn't sound like much. But it was a big thing for us. Don't know if I helped much, but in the end that little bit was enough.

2

There are a number of people whose suffering I would witness without mercy. I’m just not a very forgiving person. If it was someone who is not a horrible person, they merely wronged me, I would help them. I’m not without compassion.
But there are BAD people out there, and I strongly believe they should not be allowed mercy. If the man who took my girl out of this world were drowning, I would throw him a big ????????just like the picture. If the cretin who took your son out of this world were on fire, I would gladly toss him a container of gasoline.
I don’t believe that it’s virtuous to help everyone.

All those question marks are supposed to be a middle finger emoji.

2

No.... and screw her.... that's my sister.... she tried to put me and my kids in jail.... over crap my mom and dad gave me and my kids. She was never around to care for them..... screw her. Oh yeah ... this ain't an emotional statement. It's a go to hell, crash and burn one towards my sister. Screw her!

2

When I think of someone suffering, I think of of a mortal threat. If they were not a mortal threat to me, I would help. I grew up where allies meant everything. I had 2 friends killed by biker clubs, and I carried a fie arm just in case. If I could have helped my dead friends, I am sure I would have.

2

Not if my hurt was irreconcilable

2

Probably.

2

Idk who that would be. The ex, for example, didn’t really hurt me, just tortured me. If a large object was crushing its leg, I probably would go ahead and remove it. I think I would, anyway. In that sense, I could turn and walk away, not really feeling anything that I can predict. I could image a different outcome if someone was suffering that had hurt someone I love. I’d still want to end their suffering, but I don’t think I’m speaking in the context of this question.

Oh, wow, the graphic wasn’t there when I first saw this

1

I probably would , but I d have something to say about it.

1

Yes absolutely, I have done it before and have been shocked by those who have refused my help. Apparently they are suffering far more than I, but I let things go.
But then there are some that if they were standing in the middle of the street I can not guarantee that I would slow down my car.

1

Probably would. They are human too and make mistakes. Might be a chance to make amends and a learning situation for them.

1

I wold reluctantly help, but that's how I am.

1

Yes because it does not mean I should not be a good person.

1

It would depend. My dad and I were estranged for a long time. After lots of talking I've forgiven him, and I have and will continue to help him.

OTOH, I have two malignant narcissists in my orbit, my son's father and my own brother, and I don't know what I would do. I'm a nurturing type person so my guess is if they were right in front of me in a medical crisis, I would call 911 for them . That's about all I would do.

1

Nope. Watching this particular pile of shit suffer would be one of the greatest pleasures of my life. I often wonder how bad someone could have been hurt if they say they'd help or forgive. I have forgiven a lot of pretty terrible things (I got robbed by a friend who was using heroin, and even without restitution, I was able to forgive him) but there are a couple people that have wronged me so hard, I could stand by and watch the most horrible things you could imagine happen to them and drink a glass of lemonade.

1

I have, and would still do something. Then, maybe drop a word or two so they really feel like shit that you were the one who was there for them

1

My ex hurt me and now she is hurting herself. ....I can't help her though I often ask our daughter if there is something I might do to help. ....mental illness is no excuse for crime or mea culpa

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