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Is there a lesson to be learned from a "failed relationship?"

If the answer is yes, what lessons have you learned from a failed relationships? Did they help you towards making a happier relationship?

Aralt 7 Feb 26

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23 comments

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6

There are always lessons to learn from a bad/failed relationship. It's being wise enough to realize those lessons by not falling into the same patterns and routines over and over again.

5

Oh there's always something to be learned. Don't marry a jackass is top of my list now.

4

Tons. It took me three failed engagements to learn getting married was a bad idea for me.

For all the other lessons...don't get me started...

4

Recently divorced after 20+ years of marriage. I’ve definitely learned what I do and don’t want in a man. I’ve learned I need to speak up if something is bothering me or I’m unhappy. Countless other lessons. So my answer is yes!

3

I think the danger is when something thinks there isn't something to learn from a failed relationship. I think it's natural and unavoidable to be angry at the other person (regardless of who ended the relationship), I think it's important at some point to reflect on what you did in the relationship that you could have done better.

3

God I hope so.

3

Yes but no one ever gets it...they just continue to make the same mistakes over and over again

@ArashL well we get hurt from someone and transfer that hurt to the next relationship.
just a bunch of damaged people looking for love!

2

The thing to be learned is that all relationships have a beginning, middle and end. Don't look at it as a failure. It's an opportunity. The end of a relationship is a time for reflection - what worked, what didn't, and what should "I" do differently?

2

Yes, and yes.

"Lessons learned are like bridges burned, you only need to cross them but once." ~ Dan Fogelberg

2

Only if you're paying attention, and choose to learn the lesson offered.

1

Yes. I am divorced after 33 years of marriage. I'm just getting to the point of starting to date, but I have a lot of "I don't want"s when it comes to men, but I'm only starting to learn what I do want. Also, communication is a lot more important that most people give it credit for.

1

Always; and if you claim you haven't learned, or you weren't about 50% responsible for it not working, then you're destined to repeat the same mistakes.

1

There are lessons to be learned from everything.

marga Level 7 Feb 27, 2018
1

My first relationship was a year and three months. She cheated on me while my mom was dying because I wasn't paying her enough attention. Yes, she ripped my heart out and I lost my mom, my house, all of my belongings, in a matter of months. But, having dated her, I later used the knowledge I gained. She'd been homeless when we were dating. Three years later, I became homeless. I needed that knowledge. Every relationship I've had has some kind of "lesson learned" similar story.

1

There sure is, every failure finetunes our senses to what we think were looking for. As for the second question....... I haven’t gotten out of the land of failed relationships.....these lessons are kicking my ass.

1

Yes. My second husband was a thousand times better than my first. learned what signes meant it wouldn't work out, and I don't keep dating guys who it won't work out with nearly so long because of that.

I've even improved my looking process. I've gotten incredibly better at spotting gay guys (I barked up just a few too many wrong trees, and had to learn to avoid mutual embarrassment).

1

I learned that I am the most important person in my life. I spent too much time trying to make my partners happy and taking care of them instead of pursuing my own happiness. I can't say that this has made subsequent relationships "happy," but is has made me happy.

1

There better be.

1

I am resisting learning anything from failed relationships. The lessons make me more cynical and skeptical, distrusting and so on.

1

No it was fine, but it didn't push me into another marriage either. I don't know, been sivirced 12 years now...too independent for a man.

0

A failed relationship is an opportunity to look at what worked, what didnt, the qualities of the previous person & the qualities you want in your next relationship

I like to think of relationships as math equations there is the constant(you), thevariablle(the other person) & the outcome. If the outcome is always the same, the issue is not with the variable. You can't make different, wiser choices without close evaluation.

0

None of my relationships failed.

They just changed and we decided it was time to move on. I still have good relationships with ex-partners, they are just different now.

0

Yup. What not to do again.

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