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9 comments

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1

Let them huddle in their little prayer circles and pray. It occupies their time and keeps them busy enough that they stay out of rational peoples hair and effect less damage.

1

It's sad and mad, you bet, but it's just an extreme version of the way ordinary conservatives speak about her.

2

The scary thing about these people is when you meet them they seem perfectly normal. I've met some of them, until they start spewing crazy there is no way to recognize them.
SMH

It is upsetting to realize that people I know and love are basically followers with little ability to form an opinion of their own. They never leave their safe little delusional lives where they are the hero of the story.

1

Explain to them how all cures for diseases are witchcraft and let nature take it's course.

1

I'm sure they would like to know if she floats or sinks in water. A few of them might also believe that she can fly on a broom. That mentality is still around unfortunately.

1

Peasant 1: A witch! We have found a witch! Can we burn her?
Belvedere: How do you know that she is a witch?
Peasant 2: Because she looks like one!
Witch: I am not a witch! I am not a witch! They dressed me up like this, and this is not my nose it is a false one!
[Belvedere pulls off the false nose and opens his helmet]
Peasant 1: Well, we did do the nose, and the hat.
Peasant 2: She has a wart.
Belvedere: Why do you think that she is a witch?
Peasant 2: Well, she turned me into a newt.
[Belvedere gives him a disbelieving look]
Belvedere: A newt?
[Silence]
Peasant 2: Well I got better.
Peasant 3: Burn her anyway.
[Yells of "Burn her!"]
Belvedere: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch. Tell me, what do you do with witches?
Peasants: Burn them!
Belvedere: Now, what do burn besides witches?
Peasant 3: More witches! [receives a punch from Peasant 1; silence]
Peasant 2: Wood?
Belvedere: So, why do witches burn? [more silence]
Peasant 2: Because there made of wood?
Belvedere: So, how do you tell if she is made of wood?
Peasant 3: Build a bridge out of her!
Belvedere: Ah, but can't you also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 3: Oh, right.
Belvedere: Tell me, does wood sink?
Peasant 1: No, it floats.
Belvedere: What also floats in water?
[lots of yelling and many wrong and random answers including very small rocks]
King Arthur: A duck!
Belvedere: Exactly!
Peasant 2: So if she weighs as much as a duck she is made of wood.
Belvedere: And therefore?
Peasants: A witch!
Belvedere: We shall use my largest scales.
[Having been revealed to weigh the same as a duck, therefore proving her a witch, the crowd goes insane]
Witch: It's a fair cop.

2

"Eye of weasel! Jackass brain! Bring the orange con man pain!"

1

You know the idiots are way way off the rails when they call the people they fear magicians or witches. If anyone knows what spells these witches are incanting, I'd much like to join in.

3

The best they can come up with is that she's a witch? What century is it? Time for them.to grow up.

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