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Death without God

How do you respond to well-meaning, loving people who refer to God and angels caring for you when you are dealing with a death?

UtahDragonfly 3 Mar 1

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24 comments

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9

I let it go. They are well meaning, and you know its nonsense. Write it off as you would a six year olds imaginary friend.

8

Platitudes, just placate them. They are crippled by their beliefs, taught by parents, and incapable of escaping as you have. Don't dwell on them. Take care of yourself, first.

I'd expect family members to be somewhat aware of your position, but maybe in denial. In any case, they are trying to make you feel better, and maybe grieving with you.

It's a bad time for confrontation. Wait a while longer, you will need emotional strength.

8

I would respond with a thank you. They had good intentions. Although they didn't consider your values.

6

To be honest I just want to thump them.

6

You have your beliefs, I have mine.

6

Funerals are a time for religions to preach their crap to a captive audience. When my mother died I had to listen to countless people tell me that "she was in heaven now". I had to shut my mouth and not tell them what I thought of their comment. Her funeral was LDS and that was a PR program for the church. Total crap

what really gets me are those people who only know enough to say...."well you can take comfort in knowing that she's in better place now."... i was looking at my facebook friends and one of their friends said that to several people who had lost loved ones..... said it like 5 times in a week to different people. I CAN'T TAKE COMFORT WHEN SOMEBODY DIES! it'as not a happy day for me!. i sure the hell am not going to take comfort and know somebody that died has gone to 'paradise'....it's a nice sentiment but totally bullshit in my opinion.

Jehovah's Witnesses do the same thing, They don't even allow eulogies so they can spend more time on the religion's infomercial.

5

27 years ago when I was dealing with a very painful death, a lady told me "God needed another flower for his flower bed, and he picked Jason". I had to walk away. it made me want to throw up. Those cutesy sayings seem just so stupid to me. Even when I was religious, I wouldn't use those little memes.

5

Thankfully the few people I've had do this were much older - and I knew their religious backgrounds - and because I liked and respected them I could give them respect.
They meant well.

People are awkward as heck around deaths to begin with. (not all but most). I would cut almost anyone some slack up to a point.

They start trying to convert me to their brand of religion? All bets are off.

5

PIers Anthony "On a Pale Horse" has a great scene in which Death (the main chracter) comes upon a suicide (if I recall correctly) who doesn't believe. Death appears to this person who is in the process of dying, PROVING that there is an afterlife and arguing to help him cross over... I won't ruin it any more than that. It's a very thought provoking scene... this book is part of a series which covers several 'god' aspects (war, time, etc). A worthy read and gives interesting thoughts on this very subject.

I had a conversation with my dad, about a year before he passed. He turned to me and said "I'll bet you are one of those cremation people!" He was a mortician, and his bread and butter was funerals, cremations weren't very profitable. I replied "I won't care dad, I'll be dead." He did a double take (would've been a spit take but he wasn't drinking) and it dawned on me that he'd nefver thought of it from that point of view. Funerals, etc, are for the living, NOT the dead.

From the other angle: if there is an after life, we will be too busy learning the new rules and exploring to be worried about what we left behind... or we'll be asleep. Either way, things/worries here are left behind.

Not sure this answers your question but hopefully gives you some thoughts in that direction to ponder. Me? If someone talks like that to me, I just smile, think my own thoughts, and silently move along. They are allowed to have their beliefs, and happiness, and so am I. 🙂

4

Pity the poor fools who have had voluntary lobotomies.

4

I just blow it off if they mean well.

JK666 Level 7 Mar 1, 2018
4

Part of me thinks they are seeking converts and whats even worse is that they're trying to do this when a person may be at their weakest mentally and emotionally. Response would probably be if you keep it to yourself then I'll keep my thoughts to myself as well.

4

It depends on who died, and who is talking. Having dealt with too much death one way or another, I know everyone has their own way of dealing with grief, and as long as a belief in a big sky beard and eternal playground isn't shoved down my throat, I'll accept it. Up to a point.

3

I try not to respond to them. I do not elaborate on what they have said to me. Some at a cemetary know the body is lowered into the ground and immediately tell you the dead person is in heaven now. If wind rustles the trees the wind is immediately that same dead person. Then we have that awful line "they are in a better place now." WTF? I'm living in an insane world.

3

Irrelevant, either I am wrong or they are wrong. 50-50 chance of precipitation on a cloudy day.

@france7 Sure why not... I belong to the specie that created god. But come on in... I got the marker in my pocket, but I will only show it to you... what you give me in exchange for showing you the marker? You won't even show your face in here, that is never a good sign of being pleasant to the eye. But you need to pay as you go since you want to see the marker. I reckon there is a 50-50 chance you don't watch much the weather channel.

@france7 Mind you... you mentioned "valid pole"... a "valid pole" now days in america is a "strippers pole"... but I will give you benefit of the doubt being 50-50 sure you meant "valid poll", But if you really meant Valid Pole... We will make it Rain... 100 percent probability. he, he, ha, he, he.

2

I try to imagine what it is like to be them, and to keep it in mind that we are not the same sort of people so that I can respond in an unhurtful way just to get tehm off my back. thank you and I'm really must dash here! Get yourself a list of excuses to get off from people.

2

It depends on who died, and who is talking. Having dealt with too much death one way or another, I know everyone has their own way of dealing with grief, and as long as a belief in a big sky beard and eternal playground isn't shoved down my throat, I'll accept it. Up to a point.

1

Lip bighting time

1

As long as they're not batshit crazy like Margaret White, I'm okay with it.

balou Level 8 Mar 1, 2018
1

It depends on the situation, if we're talking about someone actually dying and if I feel like pointlessly arguing or not.

Usually just a smile and subject change work for me.

0

I have told people that I am atheist and it's not nice when they KNOW that to inflict their religious beliefs in my time of suffering.

0

I tell them I am going to become a tree when I die. I explain, I want no funeral and want to be created and put in the Bios pod I own ( my hubby has one too). Never really address my disbelief. BUT if I was pressed, which I have been, I simply say, I don't belive in god, angels, heaven.

0

Smile pleasantly, and thank them for their concern. It's not the time for arguement or education. They mean you well and are saying so in terms they rightly or wrongly understand.

0

Death without God I'd think that'd be like death with God as both regardless of you're belief system is just death it's final......

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