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Ever feel ashamed of not believing?

I feel that I am a free thinker or agnostic. I constantly feel like people force believing on me (ie family and society) so I feel guilty about having thoughts that don't align with others. How do you own it?

ZaddyP 3 Mar 26

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I gave up guilt before high school. I'm a grown woman, if I don't wanna get out of my jammies, no one's gonna shame me into my yoga pants. Same policy on religion ?

(How do you own it? You do. It's that simple.) ?

@mzbehavin Eeew! Be naked all you want but I don't want that image in my head.

So wise and explicit. Believers are shameful Atheists do it without guilt. Empathy is wasted upon believers loyal to their pain.


I have never been ashamed of being an atheist. I feel sorry for the drones believing in fairy tales.


About like I feel guilty for not believing in the Tooth Fairy. That's not really shame or guilt in any way I can process. You just are growing out of it.


Brene Brown wrote: "Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Owning our stories is standing in our truth."

Do you feel guilty or just uncomfortable because of the pressure you feel from others? As I see it, you''re already owning it by standing in your own truth, and not running from it. That's nothing to be ashamed of. Change your perspective. You beat the odds. Chin up. ??

“One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.” ~ Carl Sagan

Seems to apply to Trump as well.


My son’s father’s side of the family try to shame me. It’s not even worth arguing with them anymore. They all need to see mental health professionals, but they don’t believe in that either...


I never feel that way at all. I am embarrassed for them.


Nope. Only thing I'm ashamed of is being the same species they are.

1of5 Level 8 Mar 26, 2019

No. But I'm constantly met with anger. People are trying but failing to push their monster on me.


It sounds like you need to understand that aligning your thoughts with the thoughts of others is not a virtue. If anything, it's a vice.


I am proud of not believing . . . and the whole point of religion is to make you feel guilty, then claim to have the cure for it, both of which are complete bull shit. Ever seen a week old baby that was a sinner? Yet they try to tell you we are "born into sin", it is nothing but a fucking hack job to try to control you.

THHA Level 7 Mar 26, 2019

No! People that have the need to try to make you feel embarrassed for not following their own make believe fantasies are the ones that need to feel ashamed.


I feel no guilt whatsoever. Why should I? I don't feel guilty for myriad differences I have from those around me: not looking to score with as many women as possible, not into loud music, don't care about fast cars, don't eat meat, don't get drunk on the weekends, don't believe in God or gods, don't believe in free will, don't align with any political party, don't follow my family's extreme conservatism, uninterested in sports. I'm at odds with basically everyone I know in some way that they would consider important; none of those differences weigh on my conscience.


The hard part for some people is that without religion, you feel as if you are not accepted. And as humans we somewhat crave acceptance.

I have never felt ashamed of my atheism....I have never been embarrassed by it. I don’t broadcast it to the world as it is a personal choice....but I also do not shy away from it if I am blatantly asked my beliefs.

Own your beliefs. You got to where you are in your own way, so it is the right path for you. Continue on it.


The real thing anyone should feel ashamed of is believing absolute nonsense without evidence.... Faith is the real "F" word....


I believe many things, but am proud that I can separate what is my belief and what I actually know in myself.


No. I think it stems from my childhood voyeurism. When i was about ten my 4 year old brother died of cancer. I was kind of in the shadows watching. People came, prayed loudly, sang hymns, some found the time vent their superstitions and attack and apportion blame my mother in some weird way. Blood tribalism of some sort, between different sides of the family. I was pretty much a silent observer and listener all the way through young adulthood. I found the whole thing be perverse. Even through times when i questioned, am i missing something. ...... Nup ! I haven't shifted much from that position but i do make a distinction between simple minded and judgmental rote expression of unquestioned dogma and some of the speculation that arises in fields like physics about the nature of reality, matter and the beauty of the language of mathematics in it's attempted portrayal. I lack the background really go there with any real depth of understanding, but it is tantalising, and even now, in my late sixties provokes an insatiable childlike curiosity in me. The word "God", in linguistics is known as an absent referent. I.e that which it refers does not present as an objective self evident truth. ( Always a good point of contention in discussion with religious folk i find ) I think that innate childlike curiosity and being comfortable and accepting of not knowing ( or believing ) is a good place be. Certainly no shame involved.

No...not ashamed. I have to be true to myself. Things have got to make sense to me.


I am proud I am willing to use critical thinking and reason to make decisions. Our beliefs should never be determined by others otherwise they are not our own.


It doesn’t matter what others believe or think. Gather the facts and make your own call. Your beliefs may take a while to bubble up and take form, but don’t fear or feel shame to take a different path.


Being the only sane person in a collection of deluded dimwits is nothing to be ashamed of.
Would feel ashamed of not being a perverted deviant in a room full of paedophiles just because your thinking did not align with theirs.


When I was way too young to explain myself. But I don't think about it anymore, no value.


I think for me because im super indifferent I have mixed feelings. I think I just have to work through it and create a clear opinions for myself.


I have never felt ashamed of not believing. There have been times where the thought, "so many people believe" has crossed my mind. But then I remember that every believer I have ever met has done religion slightly differently then every other believer. It's a small thing but it reminds me that no one has everything all figured out. We are all learning in our own way.


Great question. You are the victim of both believers and false definitions of Atheism. You can know if a religious allegation is false or irrational. Agnosticism wss invented by Huxley to avoid the beiiever firestorm directed at his friend Darwin in 1859. Owning this history and your Feminist Atheist birthright is easy. Letting go of your feelings towards family or friend believers is hard. Just stand your ground and demand evidence for their alleged gawds. Their "g o d" sound is not a word, it is gibberish like unicorn .... horses that fly with long spikes sticking out of a head is no different from Pinnochio or the alleged Jesua Nasoret bible character.....mere fiction on scrolls and 500 year old books.....shame on them are a free thinker they are slave talking shame merchants


I understand the pressure of attempted shame, but I'm fairly resilient to it. I deal with it by trying to bring empathy to them and to myself. (While that might sound meek, it seems to make me stronger.)

I consider a parallel to a racist community that shames a person for being friends with someone who has different colored skin. (Sometimes I see things more clearly by changing the context.)

So, if the person being shamed is an innocent child, I understand how the child would feel distressed and maybe guilty for not pleasing others. (So, I can forgive myself for any hint of wanting to placate those putting pressure on me; we never outgrow being social creatures, after all -- even as adults.)

If the person being shamed is an independent adult, a reasonable reaction is "fuck you; you're being ignorant and obnoxious." (This helps me see I don't need to be cowered by an ignorant person.)

Finally, considering the side doing the shaming: I can understand they're comfortable with the status quo, and they like feeling superior. For the great majority, that will be more important than getting to know you as a person. And if they don't care about you as a person, how much power should you let them have to shame you? There may be a very few willing to get to know you, and listen to your point of view. They might never change their minds, but at the least they won't be shaming you any more.



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