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Why did you get married?

And if you are not married but would like to be - why?

I ask this in a non-judgmental way. I am merely curious. In my experience, many of us are conditioned by society to believe it's necessary. As I've aged I've realized that isn't true for many of us.

Personally, I do not feel the need to get married. However, if I were to end up with a life partner who felt it was important, then we could go down to city hall and sign some paperwork. But by no means will I ever have a wedding!

NicThePoet 7 Mar 4

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44 comments

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9

I was 21 years old. Still married to the same gal 44 years later. Sometimes we get luckyπŸ™‚

I admire and appreciate that. I aspire to someday have that level of stability and security.

6

I was drunk

6

We wanted to spend almost all of our free time together, even during the mundane.

I now realize we could have done that without a license. Back then, though, married couples were treated much more kindly socially than couples "living in sin" were. If I was to meet someone now, I am not sure about the license as I deeply resent others thinking that they get to decide whether or not my living and loving is legit or not.

The only hesitation I might have would relate to the legality of any inheritance preference following my demise. Sometimes that piece of paper greatly simplifies the estate/probate process.

Zster Level 8 Mar 4, 2018

Yes I agree about inheritance. Also health insurance is something to think about

5

I think you nailed it. Because it was expected by my family and society. I told my last wife when I married her, "I don't even believe in the institution of marriage," but still did it.

Now I'm extremely done with marriage. It's stuuuuuuuuuupe.

4

Had been living together for years in a committed relationship. She quit her job to student teach. Since this is fucking America and we don't have universal health care she needed to get on my health insurance so we got married.

4

I would say have the reception and not the legal part ! Anyway, I got married at 27 because he was a nice guy and we got along great ! Turns out he was a mamma's boy, no spine, and I wasn't IN love with him. So I left him when my son was a year and a half, when I was 31. I'm 55 now and still single. No regrets. My son is awesome ! <3

4

I wanted to raise a family.....and the sex wasn't bad. You have to remember, for me this was a long time ago.

3

If Lisa was still alive, today would have been our 43rd wedding anniversary. (See my post on that) At first, on my 25th birthday, we talked about just telling people that we eloped, even though we weren't going to get married. I thought it would be better if we actually did marry. We were young and in love.

My opinion today is that, either way, if you love someone and commit your lives to each other, that's what marriage is. A wedding is more for the declaration of love for each other to be made in front of witnesses so that they can acknowledge your commitment.

3

As a father, my rights are much easier to assert if I am married to the mother of my children when they are born. If something happens pre- or post- birth then I have a much better claim on what happens from a medical and legal standpoint.

We didn't have a church wedding or church vows. We got married on a sailboat by the captain.

God sent us dolphins, a overflight of jet aircraft, a beautiful sunset, great friends, and pleasant weather.

Well, scratch the God part, lol. But it was pretty cool that things worked out that way.

3

Crazy in love + health insurance= practical.

3

The first time I was twenty four and I didn't know any better I suppose. The second time happened because I knew it was important to her, she wanted kids. So she got off the birth control and on to the prenatal vitamins and once she was pregnant, I asked her to marry me. The kids being the biggest reason to get married I suppose. Would I do it again? I don't think it brings anything to the table but if it was important to who I was with and if I'd decided that yeah, I'm planning on staying with this person then yeah, I'd do it again.

3

Not important. I want to be with someone. I don't need a contract.

2

I was pregnant and we had been living together for some time - so we got married in a registry office it was pretty much for the child to not be called names 1967 not particularly enlightned times.

2

First time it was to prevent her from being forced to return to rural Queensland and the restraints of a Catholic family (we were in love, just not fond of the marriage institution). Second time was because we loved each other. If I do it again it will be to raise more children. It is still easier if you're married.

2

Because I was in an abusive relationship with myself. I was the one saying "you'll never find anyone better, this is the best you can do, no one else will want you so take what you can get." Depression sucks. Why did I get divorced? Because I had finally had it. I tried. I tried hard. But it got to the point where it was go down with him or cut him lose. I chose me. And I'm so glad I did. Would I ever get married again? Maybe for the right person, but it is no longer a goal. I no longer think there's something wrong with me if I'm single. I wish we weren't brought up with the idea of you have to get married when you grow up and that getting married will fix all your problems. It won't.

Remi Level 7 Mar 5, 2018
2

The first time I was a senior in high school and pregnant. Our moms put their heads together and decided we would sneak off to the county court house to be married. 1964. Against the rules to be pregnant in high school then, so it was a secret. After graduation, we set up housekeeping. I lost the child at 7 months pregnant as a result of an auto accident. Marriage lasted maybe 3 years. I ran away to NYC in the middle of the night while my husband was away on duty at the Naval Air Station. Second marriage: This man said we should get married for tax reasons. We went to court house again. NYC 1966-7? That marriage lasted maybe 5 years? I had 2 sons in that marriage. Geesh! I was so duh...Third marriage: I was told by an attorney in Illinois that I couldn't win custody of my kids if I was living with someone. Off to the courthouse, once again. it was1977 I doubt that I'd marry again. I'm 71 years old, and learned a heck of alot about who I am and what my needs are. Walking the fire, I call it. I believe in commitment, if I were to find another mate. I can't imagine meeting anyone who could tempt me to join up with them.

We all have those crazy storIes, don't we? πŸ˜‰πŸ™‚

2

I have never been married. I have dated but nothing really series. No kids in fact when I had to go through chemo (long story but if you want I’ll tell you.

2

Rode that bike at 19. Found out 11 yrs later that it had no seat. I try not to speak in absolutes, nothing is certain except death and taxes. But, I don't aspire to be married again. And won't consider it until anyone can marry who they want, across the globe. Otherwise, the institution of marriage is meaningless.

2

I married more because it was looked down upon to have children out of wedlock. This is also because of religion in a way. I married a second time because I believed that I should not be a single father. With no love in the thought process it’s no wonder these things failed. I see no reason to marry again. We value connections. β€œWhen your with me be with me, when your with them, be with them”

2

I was young, naive, and had low self-esteem.

2

Never did, never want to be.

grabs popcorn

1

The first time was because we were young and his parents insisted. And I wasn't against it. The second time? People in the community where we moved were rather ugly to us because we weren't. There were also concerns like getting him health care and such. In retrospect, that was a huge mistake to let myself get pushed into.

1

I've not been married. Still, it's someting I desire, but I think that's my upbringing coming out more than anything. I don't believe anyone needs a piece of paper to tell them they love each other.

d_day Level 7 Mar 5, 2018
1

Umm, probably because I did not think I was worthy and I'd end up alone unless I did it NOW.

I was wrong on every count.

1

I never had any pressure that I had to get married. I met a lady and we hung out as friends. The more time I spent with her, the more I wanted it to be more serious. I married her in 1985, and we're still together. She is a wonderful person.

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