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Sex

smile009.gif This is a female vs male sexuality comment/question. Evolution vs intelligent design puts a whole new perspective on the subject of sexuality don't you think?. Do you find that sex after child bearing age is far less important to females than to males? Do you find that divorce often happens in later years because of sexual differences and desires?

25 comments

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Disagree that sex might be less important to women than men after child bearing age. More of my male friends have complained that sex (specifically lack of it) was in some way responsible for their divorces. I feel that a lot of divorces simply result from unmet expectations in a variety of areas.

Everyone is different.

7

Female drive can fluctuate later in life in response to the hormone swings of peri menopause, in EITHER direction, at least in my experience. It helps if her partner understands that approaches might need adjusted as these hormone changes result in very real changes in her body.

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Seriously? If anything, I'm more interested in sex postmenopause! No more worries about pregnancy, obsessing about childrearing, money, etc... (Well, I STILL obsess about having enough moneysmile001.gif )
But the QUALITY of sex is more important to me now...but the quantity has to be there too. As for the divorce aspect, I couldn't say. I've been divorced for quite some time.

4

Different libido can be one element in breakups,
women seem to enjoy sex more after 40,
they seem to want more, until about mid fifties,
just one persons perspective.

Last desperation?

I think you are right. It breaks my heart.

@Akfishlady For a while it can be delicious fun but eventually realisation dawns that more than sex is needed - let's face it if sex was all that drove men they would simply make sufficient income to visit the brothel at whatever frequency their libido necessitated.

I agree that what is sad is the failure of men and women to be simply able to say "I've got a sexual itch that needs scratching. I like the look of you. How about we go right now and see if we can mutually enjoy and pleasure each other?" without being accused of sexual harrassment.

Edited

@FrayedBear I wish that were the way, I have a visitor this weekend, very attractive, she even sleeps in my bed. Sadly, I sleep in my other room when she is here. She is on medication that stops all such itching.

@Rugglesby Meds! No wonder my young acquaintance ran a web site "drugs no more" for many years.

3

I think you are right.
I was a highly sexual woman for most of my life and now I just can't seem to care that much.
Hormones change, I want to want it but it is not a driving force for me anymore.
It does bum me out though. I never thought it could be like this.

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My most recent long-term relationship ended because she lost all interest in sex after menopause. She stated that that was the reason, and it was her choice, not mine.

I had the exact same problem in reverse. My ex boyfriend was mid60s, I was 59. He had little interest in physical intimacy. After a year and a half I moved out.

2

In my experience, it has been about the physical attraction between the sexes.I am 62. I started dating my fiance when I was just going through menopause. I found I had little sex drive with him but chocked it up to going through menopause , and that was just the way it was. He was my best friend and we had a lot of fun together, but I had little to no interest in sex. It did cause some issues between us. He would always tell me he "needed reassurance" to feel he was still a man.Well, he died, and I started doing dating again, and low and behold, guess who got their mojo back....me. But I have dated a couple guys who were super nice and would be good prospects, but I had no physical attraction to them, and I don't want to get into that mess again of just being with a good guy but having no desire to have sex. But with a couple others,,hubba hubba, bring it on. I had blathered on incessantly while with my fiance that any woman who said she was hungering for sex after going through menopause was just lying, because my drive had disappeared. Well, I was wrong. We still have it. We just need to have the right partner who we are super physically attracted to. IMO.

I think everyone is different. Many of my friends never got their mojo back unless they went on hormone replacement. Many not willing to take that risk. I guess you were lucky.

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I think that I would avoid sex with anyone who believes in intelligent design. In the interest of the species. LOL

1

I find children cock block their mummies way to much. sex is very important for men and women. women tend to love the child more and forget the male

1

I guess my point was that intelligent design is a joke when it comes to sexuality. If there was a god involved in designing it... he messed up. Male vs female peak at different times. Females take longer to climax which often frustrates both. Males never lose interest unless they have a health problem. Many women lose interest and body parts shut down after menopause unless they go on hormone replacement or have more circulating hormones than others. So many unfortuanate differences IMO. (of course there are exceptions) If there were intelligence involved in the creation of sexuality it could have done so much better. Evolution/natural world makes so much more sense in how we are the way we are...

Thank you for commenting on your post. It makes more sense now that you explained it. But I do agree. I think evolution would be the main reason as to why women don’t climax as easily, because it’s not needed for reproduction. But I don’t know, maybe that’s part of our punishment for eating a damn fruitsmile001.gif

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I’ve never combined sex and intelligent design in the same sentence before. No, I have found that it is equally important. I agree that differences in sexuality can be a contributor to divorce, but at any age.

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I don't believe you can generalize about either question. I'm sure it applies to some folks, but not everyone.

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I don't know about female sexual desire fluctuating, but I know it finds a new function and often continues post-menopause. We have evolved to carry out different functions at different points in our life. Part of getting older, especially on the female side is securing the relationships you have. That's why menopause exists. There's more of a reward to care for offspring, and women can focus more energy on their family rather than generating new family members

0

Reasonable "design" for the times.

Humans were evolved to exist in a very different environment than that in which most of us live now. At a time when the current prohibitions on sexual activities did not exist.

Since the historical age at death was around 25 to 35, the changes in levels of desire were of little consequence.

That women can "endure" multiple partners increased the likelihood she would become pregnant. Good design for women's pleasure and probable procreation, survival of the tribe.

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The passion dwindles although it doesn’t have to more based on the length of time in the relationship. I really don’t think age has anything to do with libido. I feel women as they age just need more fore play then their partners are willing to give. I still feel that if intimacy is heated, and spontaneous no matter the age it can be mutually beneficial. Of course this can’t be forced and if there is no interest then that is a different issue. Open mindedness to play and experience have always been my way of thinking.

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I think it's a "mistake" to conflate sex with childbirth. Yes, sex is how we procreate, but there's so much more to sexuality that just procreation. In fact, sexuality is one of humankind's strongest drives most of the time. in fact, using an MRI, scientists have determined that several places in the brain kick in during sexual arousal, meaning that there’s much more going on than just babies. Sexuality also seems to have a ‘bonding’ affect on people, bringing them closer. I say, if it's possible to keep having sex, then keep doing it until your body runs out.

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Sex is not the answer. Yes is the answer, sex is the question.

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Sex after kids is still important tomen/women alike.

DivorcesI've gone through-2-nothing to do with sexual differences. Nor friends of mine.

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Was dating a woman back in 2013 she was really into me. She knew that I had had a vasectomy and I think in the back of her mind that this somehow ruined me. That was the last time I had dated any one. Lots of people have a stigma about sterile partners they want to leave their legacy on this planet is all I can figure.

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I clicked on it but didn't see anything related to this topic. What was I suppose to find?

@Paddywalker The water that the horse was led to. Have a fun weekend. smile002.gif

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I think females want sex just as much as men do when they have found a partner that actually knows how to please them but I could be wrong on that but women are the ones with a body part that is only for sexual pleasure and nothing else. the problem is most men never care enough to learn how to operate that body part. as far as divorce goes I wouldnt have a clue but for the most part I see adultry and financial problems as the leading cause with the ppl I know first hand.

Possessions, possessions and more possessions. When will people stop thinking that they own spouses and children. At best children are on loan and spouses are only there for as long as their benefits exceed what they put up with from the other spouse.

don't see what u are gettin at, i didnt say anything about anyone owning anyone

@jorj No shit. Where did that come from?

Agreed..so much is in the approach and definitely, the physical attraction. With my late fiance, I evidently had no sex drive anymore, thinking it was my menopause, but now realize, I lacked physical attraction to him. But I could always enjoy myself with my vibrator. Now that I'm dating again, I still have no drive with men I am not physically attracted to. But strong drive with men who have the physical characteristics that I am attracted to.

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