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Why do men lash out at women after a polite rejection?

Yesterday I replied to a man from Detroit, 2,000 miles away:

"Thanks for your compliment. We live too far apart to develop a relationship. I suggest you focus on women who live near you."

He replied:

"LoL. You have no idea who I am or how I live to even make such a statement... It Amazes me the stupidness of seemingly intelligent people. Thank you for curing me of thinking you were possibly not small minded... How about you focus on people who are on your level. Because clearly you are way below mine.... LoL"

My reply:

"Shame on you for lashing out and calling me mean names. Insulting people is against Community Guidelines. You are blocked."

LiterateHiker 9 May 4

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odd how he did the exact same thing he accused you of...neither of you know each other well enough...obviously...the LOL's are also stupid while insulting someone...


LOL stupidness?! Is that even a word? Is it not stupidity? πŸ˜•


I thought the same thing. "Stupidness" is not a word. It's "stupidity."

I refuse to sink to his level.

@LiterateHiker meh. I am beyond being the bigger person. I will sink to their level and make them feel like the idiotic twats they deserve to feel like. heh


Not sure why anyone lashes out like that. The message was a little terse but in all honesty you don't know each other so WTF? You dodged a bullet.

Good point


Real men don't.


Not everyone is a asshole


Please do not judge all men by the louts among us.


I refuse to let a few bad men ruin my opinion of half of the human race.


You have remarkable restraint LH. lol. All I can say is be grateful he didn't live around the corner. It might have taken you a couple of dates before you figured out he was an arsehole.


Thank you.


Suggestion: Don't'll drive this nitwit "BONKERS".
Why Did He Lash Out? As a male, I got a suspicion that this nitwit is suffering from insecurities,
where a "remedy"(superficial) is to lash out folks whom he does not know. i.e. "Insecure Bully".


I do think he went to far, but some people would move if they met the right person long distance so think it would have been best to say you don't want to meet anyone far away and leave off suggestion he should focus on those near him. just my take.him calling you small minded was out of line and well, small minded of him.

Would you move if you met the right person?
Asking for a "friend". Lol.

@Unity I did 17 years ago, or wouldnt be in NJ, but back in the Keys


So many men are insecure, which is amazing since we've been running and messing things up for such a long time. You'd think we'd have more confidence by now. Lol.


I thought of this post yesterday and thought I'd share my latest hate mail. (I'm still laughing to myself.) I did edit screen names & fixed his picture. πŸ˜›


Rejection hurts a man with poor self image, and is generally unpleasant. Perhaps a masochist would enjoy it. In response some women will avoid rejecting except by stopping all communications, which I dislike more than an honest answer. But I understand that a rejection can result in a man assaulting a woman, or worse. It is a difficult situation for both.


Another nice reply: OK, no nice pussy for you babe!

zesty Level 7 May 4, 2019



@LiterateHiker Yes. Makes the nice guys even more mad!

I differ. A response like that lowers you to his level.

@Mitch07102 Lol It depends on the environment. On a swingers site it works.


The guy is an asshole. To initially respond with something like "stupidness of seemingly intelligent people" - is a sign of an insecure mind. He can't handle intelligence...


Ego defense mechanism to soften the blow of being rejected. Men aren't suppose to show signs of weakness and feelings of being hurt, but the expression of anger is socially acceptable.


Even a polite rejection hurts. Now some men make it tit-for-tat: you are hurting me, so I am hurting you.
Introverts just return to their loneliness and get drunk; extraverts vent their feeling.

There are many of us that say thanks for letting me know, good luck in your search, and move on.


Scary to think so many of these are among us...


A real sweet talker.


Sounds like a scammer...


Sounds like he had a chip on his shoulder and was just looking for a reason to lob it at someone.


Hey, don't include all of us in the same basket , please and thank you !


I refuse to let a few bad men ruin my opinion of half of the human race.


Likely because most Amerikans stop their emotional and intellectual development sometime before or at the latest, in high school. Combine that with you being brighter than about 95% of the people you engage with (those not pre-selected).

But hey, look at the good news. This is like a Darwin award. He has self-selected out of the pool. Good for you.


Because the good one’s aren’t rejected πŸ™‚

Varn Level 8 May 4, 2019

good ones can be rejected, incorrect assumption.

@gigihein ..she got it ~


Was he 16 years old?


From his photos, he looks to be in his 30s or 40s. It's a little hard to tell with black men.

He did not show his age on his profile.


It seems you two aren't for each other. Oh well. No one's loss.

Unity Level 7 May 4, 2019
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