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If you knew that if you came out as an atheist that you would lose everyone you called family would you?

MayRebel 5 Mar 9
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56 comments (26 - 50)

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2

YES! But we are all atheists, they are just a-holes...

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2

I've come out to family members as an Agnostic. They have accepted my decision (sarcasm), THOUGH one nephew has told me that I am going to hell because I've TURNED AWAY from God. I'm compelled to be honest. I don't expect my family to completely accept me, they are arrogant and will not change. I'm hoping to reach some "middle ground" with them. Oh, there is one more thing that complicates this situation, I have been in and out of psychotherapy for decades and my response to my family's behavior has not always been the best. I believe that life is a continuing project, so I continue to work on the relationships with family members.

2

Probably not, but fortunately I did not have to deal with that as there are more A-theists in my family than theists.

2

Yep. It is the Risk I will take to avoid Losing myself because being me is Worth the Risk.

2

Unfortunately, many Mormons, Scientologists and Jehovah’s Witnesses struggle with the same question. I think being honest with yourself is most important. I personally don’t mind standing alone in any circumstance where I’m challenged to defend my convictions. I totally understand why many would rather hide who they are, but I have one question to ask them. If your family and friends love you, why not give them the chance to love the real you? The more people who come out, the more acceptable it will become to do so. Those who can, should, so that those who can’t, may someday be able to.

Marz Level 7 Mar 9, 2018
2

No. I doon'tlet certain people in my family know for that exasct reason 😟

1

Being a family includes acceptance. I agree that your family either has to accept something about you or break that bond.

It is true whether the family accepts it or not. If they don't know about it now, it's inevitable that they will learn sooner or later. I'd rather be disowned than live a lie

1

They are way too afraid of missing what I'll do next.

1

I'm coming out incrementally. (I can only consider myself Agnostic at this point.) My extended family has been (at least somewhat) told (though they don't seem to believe it). Most of my wider social sphere doesn't know, some do. I don't think I'll loose my family even when it all really sets in for them, but I'm not ready yet for it to be basic common knowledge about me.

1

Yes, I would. Coming out as an atheist, in my opinion, isn't much different from coming out as gay. My son's gay and he was accepted by everyone in his family except for his dad who finally accepted him only because he was dying of a malignant brain tumor and he didn't really recognize his own son anyway.

1

This is a hard one. If it wasn't for my dad, who is super religious, I wouldn't have a place for me and my son to stay. I would probably keep it to myself if I knew he would shun me. But if having a place to life and such wasn't an issue, I would still come out because I don't need people who will leave me in my life.

1

If they can not accept me for what I chose not to believe in. I can not change and live a lie to have people accept me.

1

Lol I've been open about my atheism since I was a teenager, and never considered losing family over it. I did lose family over some other issues, though.

1

Yes. Find your own tribe. In the end, the people that matter are the ones that care about you as a person in the here and now.

1

My family already knows my beliefs. It doesn't make any difference to them, just like their beliefs make no difference to me. Unless there's proselytization going on.....

marga Level 7 Mar 9, 2018
1

If I didn't already know that my family would still love and support me as they do, I would not tell them. Assuming I would not have to attend services, I'd keep it to myself.

1

Definitely not . What reason would I have to tell them anyway?

1

"COMING OUT"? do they bother you about your beliefs or are you just feeling rebellious? I feel strongly that my beliefs, or lack of them, are Nobody's business & that is what I would state if asked.

1

I don't know. Fortunately, I've never been in this position, because by the time I mentioned my atheism, I pretty much knew that my entire family was either atheist or didn't care.

1

For some people, labels mean everything. Saying you are an Atheist will sound different to them than if you say you no longer accept the Bible as science or history, you no longer wish to associated with the people who want a pedophile for president and a vice president who calls his wife "mother."

1

Interesting I don’t hv that problem bcuz I lived in bigger cities. I noticed most in this group live in small town America.

1

Yes if you lose friends then they where never really friends. If you lose family then the don’t truly love you.

1

Hmmm I only came out to my immediate and closest family members. I had very mixed results. None disowned me, though some that I did not tell probaby would. At worst they thought less of me as a person, at best they didn't care. It is clear that I'm a much better person than the ones that thought less of me. I stopped trying to prove myself to them because I know that they are the ones with issues, not me. But if I had a bad feeling about telling anyone then I could probably see myself keeping quiet (I don't think I could do that forever) or start by asking them what they think about atheists and try to correct them if something they say is inaccurate, then if that worked, I'd tell them.

1

Yes.

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