Too funny! Glad I'm single. I'd dump him so fast he'd get whiplash.
"Dear How to Do It,
"I am a 35-year-old woman in a hetero marriage and could use some help figuring out how to communicate with my husband about foreplay. Once we get to the sex itself, he’s an attentive lover, happy to go down on me and make sure I come.
"However, he usually initiates sex by asking if I want to suck his penis, or telling me I want to suck his penis and just taking it out and shaking it at me. He also focuses on my breasts and vagina to the exclusion of the rest of my body. Sometimes I feel like I’m just the sum of my parts!
"Also, he is my boss, so if he’s gotten mad at me for something work-related, it can feel like my personhood gets shuffled aside. I am attracted to him, but I don’t always want to feel like a bird eager to swallow a fat worm.
"He has no problem telling me I’ve hurt his feelings if I don’t immediately glom onto his penis. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated."