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Guilt Trips

How do you handle the disappointed looks and guilt trips that people give you when you say (or they find out) you're a non believer?

Amyg23 5 Mar 12
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28 comments

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9

I'll let you know if I ever experience that guilt

5

I treat those look and guilt trips with pity as they are still lost in their self delusion.

4

I guess I'm just weird because this has never been a problem for me.

The closest I ever came was that my older brother, who is still a fundamentalist, asked me point blank if I didn't believe in god anymore. I said no. He said that's too bad. And never brought it up again and did not treat me differently. He's an unusual fundamentalist -- belongs to a fairly diverse inner-city church for example which is rare in fundamentalism which is normally suburban,rural and very white. He's also a slum lord -- er, Section 8 landlord -- and deals with gritty reality of poor people's lives and so is far more "street" and not as naive and bubble-ized as most fundies. I would say that the way we were raised (unconditional love from our parents) means we were protected from the most unsavory qualities of fundamentalism.

Beyond that, I deconverted well into adulthood, and never lived in the Bible Belt.

4

In the vernacular ...I couldnt give a monkeys !

4

Not my problem.

3

I generally cut those people out of my life. Judge me by my character, not some arbitrary label of my beliefs.

3

I have had lots of practice at ignoring guilt trips. My mother used to resort to guilt shoves off the cliff. I called her out and told her to stop wasting effort.

3

I don't take guilt trips. The tickets are too expensive!

3

I remind them that in our country people are allowed to believe or not believe anything they want. Say for instance you wanna have an imaginary friend in the sky who you think controls your life rather than taking responsibility for the choices and actions you have chosen. Well then do you boo but stop telling me I have to do the same. 💁

Becks Level 3 Mar 13, 2018

Our country has a severely lack of empathy problem, because so many expect you to live by their own personal standards like somehow you magically had their experiences.

3

What exactly do you feel guilty about? I'm not sure I understand. Is it that you are disappointing believers? If so, I guess I can relate because I eventually had to tell my kids there was no Santa Claus. They got over it though.

3

I ignore them, assuming I see them at all. Mostly I'm too busy giving them pitying looks for being brainwashed.

3

I have nothing to feel guilty about. It's their disappointment not mine. It does not bother me.

3

Doesn’t bother me.

3

I never notice them.

2

I wonder how they handle my disappointed and bewildered look when they tell me they believe in a god as I follow up with which one and why...

2

A chuckle usually works for me. If that doesn't do it I'll go to full on belly laugh.

2

Honestly, I shrug it off unless they get belligerent about it, then I usually rant until they back off

2

I don't allow them to put a guilt trip on me. The standard thing that I hear is something like "everyone knows there is a god." Why is it that everyone knows that? It's because the buybull told me so.

2

Live your life for youself, not for their approval. Don't let their lack of vision and understanding get to you.

2

Guilt trips don’t work on me. I know enough about the Bible what’s in it and how it came about I can’t rip it apart. And will if someone pull that shit with me.

1

I generally don't notice unless they comment. Responses vary with what they say, and may include profanity if they're rude, or a simple application of logic if they are not.

1

When people try to make me feel guilty about being me I tend to put on a show just to mess with them

1

I feel no shame or guilt in being a non-believer. What irks me is when people of faith think that I can be "sold on" their beliefs, like I am undecided on religion. Which always reminds me of this quote:

"As a philosopher, if I were speaking to a purely philosophic audience I should say that I ought to describe myself as an Agnostic, because I do not think that there is a conclusive argument by which one can prove that there is not a God.

On the other hand, if I am to convey the right impression to the ordinary man in the street I think I ought to say that I am an Atheist, because when I say that I cannot prove that there is not a God, I ought to add equally that I cannot prove that there are not the Homeric gods."
Bertrand Russell, Am I An Atheist Or An Agnostic?, 1947

0

I am a believer.

I am a believer too ... I believe in gravity, electromagnetism, strong and weak nuclear forces ... May the Force be with you.

0

What few I have had (the passive aggressive, 'I'll pray for you', to which I respond and sinister as I can 'I'll pray for you, too', since most people used to equate agnostic to atheist to satanism...haha) are just amusing to me. I have been known in the past to begin a dissertation on the changes in xstian belief systems over the centuries, and how they would be perceived by their predecessors, and if the christian mores are not continuous, then when does the hellride begin or end?

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