Humor always works. Anything to divert the conversation works. Of course, the atom bomb of comebacks is to start talking about your health problems. They will quickly find an excuse to leave.

Most definitely. You seem to be doing fine on your own. Not sure you need help.

I get this one all the time; " Wow are you ever tall." My answer usually goes; "I hadn't noticed, I just thought you were really short."

I don't put any weight into things people say about me. It makes these responses unnecessary.

"Do you play basketball?"

"No, are you a jockey?"

Love these. For me, those would be conversation starters (depending on your affect at the time of delivery), not enders. Same for me, being humorous usually leads to a long conversation, even when I am being a bit blunt.

If someone askes an invasive question I raise an eyebrow and say, "Why do you ask?" Then I change the subject before they can reply.

However, when some rude, crude, creepy dude on this website asked a horrifyingly sexual question about my being transmale I immediately flagged him, and his post disappeared. I wish getting rid of jerks in real life was that easy..

I like to make people who make things awkward even more awkward, if not downright vile. I see your invasive question and raise you. Your move, chatty kathy/karl!

you're funny! one i say that nobody gets is when somebody says "dam it's windy"... i say "it's not wednesday, it's (whatever day it is)"

I think both jokes and blunt refusals work.
It depends on my mood which I'll use.

Humor kind of defuses it a bit. If that doesn't work, I've had to resort to blunt assertiveness. If you have to get to that level, it doesn't matter how the other person takes it.

Only when it is at their expense!