Agnostic.com

23 7

How do you Develop a Personal Drive?

I'm part Introvert and also have Generalized Anxiety. There are times it would benefit me to exercise or just get my ass up and do something constructive. I have no real drive. I have no desire to advance at work and very little drive other than my advancement in Toastmasters and finding more items for my collection. And even then... I'm not exactly driven to complete these goals.
Is there some way I can force myself to be more driven or is it just not part of my make-up?

MrLizard 8 Mar 14

Post a comment Reply Add Photo

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

23 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

5

So I used to be an extremely lazy person. I half assed everything and watched TV when I didn't absolutely have to do something. I struggled to clean, pay bills, and myriad other things we are supposed to do as adults. The key for me was to learn how to enjoy doing those things.
For cleaning, I put on music that gets me moving, or I'll listen to a podcast while I do it. Working out is all about feeling your body. I think the best way to do it is to just give yourself an hour or so a day to notice what's going on in your body. You don't have to go ham to get fit. Just start off with whatever is comfortable and try to engage muscles you aren't used to engaging with increasing intensity based on what's comfortable. You will eventually get stronger, and especially pay attention to joints and sockets. Dieting helps, but I understand why this is hard to do. I did not grow up liking sweets or pop, and my eating was more for anxiety reasons than flavor, so I don't mind what I eat, and I have a pretty strict diet. But I think everyone should research to take the time to find out what to eat, and for me, making it easy and simple ensures that I will do it consistently. I don't make the meals too complex, and I know exactly what I'm buying when I go to the store.

I've also learned that no one is truly lazy or doesn't have drive. I finally stopped feeling bad about doing things I wasn't necessarily compelled by society to do, like watch videos on and read about as many topics as I can. I've invested a lot of time and money into my hobbies. I am still looking to invest even more time into my work, because while I've gotten better, it still remains that I am a much better consumer than producer, and the only thing I can do there is to just stay off of media sites, but I'm only currently trying to retrain my brain to do this. For this, a zero tolerance policy has worked best.

5

Little steps...
For years I kept telling myself that I wanted to play music. I got a guitar but i didn't really practice, just every now and then. I kept giving myself targets but never achieving them and then giving myself a bit of a hard time over my failure....
Now it's many, many years later and I do play quite a few instruments. Some better than others 😉 i practice almost everyday and have done for years. But I have real incentives now. I play in a couple of bands, run a session and my social life pretty much revolves around playing music at events and festivals. So I enjoy practice and know that I'll get rewards from it.
Sure it would benefit you to exercise for example, but if that excersise is not fun or enjoyable, it's unlikely to happen. If you like Toastmasters (i don't actually know what that is 🙂 ) then go for it. Find some other people that like that stuff and those endorphins will start to kick in.
Reward yourself. Best motivator I know

4

Do you want to?
Why do you need to be more driven?
If you are content, stay content.
I totally lack any ambition, I am not greedy,
I just do what I enjoy doing as far as possible.
I just prefer being outdoors and can't stand watching TV.

4

Stop looking for something that isn't there or never will be. James Dickey used the great phrase "When life gets boring, go out and take a chance" Pack a bag to no where if you have some time-like two weeks or more to a place you have never been or would have wanted to visit. Your closed in and need to reach the beyond your immediate arena and meet others whom you do not know or have ever met.

4

You care more about Toastmasters and your collection than advancing at work. What's wrong with that? Most people are looking forward to retirement not advancing at work.

that sounds like the drive to me- what he likes

3

I feel a lot like what you are describing yourself as! Here is the conclusion that I have come to! Get up and do some serious excerise, preferably everyday and if you are only doing it a few minutes at a time...then excerise more than once each day! If you miss a day, then get back at the next day...don't argue with yourself, just get up and do it! Because...if you don't want, what little 'get-up-go' that you still have at this moment to ATROPHY ...you better FORCE yourself...when all else fails! Just imagine what it would be like... to creep around, hoping someone will be handy, if you should fall or need someone to think for you...and you will be more motivated! You don't need to be perfect at excerising, just good enough!

3

Some meds will sap your drive, I'm always asked how I feel when I go to the V.A. for my psychologist or medical.
If you are seeing a psych doc perhaps tell them about the lack of drive.
If not meds then try things you might be interested in, take small steps and feel it out. I took a couple of drawing classes in college and discovered I had a talent for sketching. I also tried my hand at fly fishing with an inexpensive rod and reel, loved it and upgraded my equipment.
In both these examples I had a small desire to try it and found skills I didn't know I had.

3

No offence intended but what the hell is a Personal Drive?

Mine is a Hyundai Elantra.

I tried to discuss that in my above comment as the question begs itself?

3

The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time. Ride along if you don't want to drive.

3

This is how my depression manifests, a nearly paralyzing lack of desire (definitely not a "sadness" ).

All I can do is just force myself to keep moving. I don't know what to say if it was like that all the time.

3

I have no clue. I believe it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird.

2

Well, I suspect the answer you are looking for is the latter - it's not part of your makeup. I also think that is true. If you are unmedicated and not in therapy, try that. But hey, you're in your late 50's, you are unlikely to suddenly become a different person.

I wish I could be like you but I'm too driven. It's how I am but I am getting closer...

2

I don't know what to tell you. The say just do it. I have always been one that jumps in and give it the experienced/educated try.

2

I am military with myself.

@MrLizard When I was young, I sucked my two first fingers of either hand. (I'm ambidextrous.)

My grandmother told me I would be buck toothed if I didn't stop.

From that night on, I refused to even inadvertently put my fingers into my mouth.

If I was leaning on a table while sitting and happened to absentmindedly rest my face on my hands/arms, I would slap myself. I slapped myself because I was too close to my mouth.

I was four years old.

@MrLizard I'm no better now.
If I decide something is bad for me, I cut it out.
Cold turkey, no mercy.

2

I don't know, partner. You and I are at opposite ends of the spectrum.

2

If it’s severe, just getting through the day is adventure enough… I was married for a long (long) time to ..your condition. It was up to ‘me,’ the mate, to initiate (all) adventure. Wore me out, too.

If you’re not drug into adventure against your will, you’re likely too averse to seek it. Volunteering for adventure is against your nature. I suspect you’ve worked your life toward not being ‘forced’ into new situations… It’s a definite effort for a mate, so I hate to advise you to find someone adventurous ..then pretend it’s something you’ve always wanted to do ..that’s how I was hooked.

Dang ... Drugs? Boredom usually brings me out, though it might sound quite cozy to you 🙂 Yah, drugs, and a network of wild friends 😉 ...sorry ~

Varn Level 8 Mar 14, 2018
2

Maybe set a goal and give yourself a reward after completing various items on your "should do" task list? There will be natural positive consequences for completing those goals or tasks, but sometimes we need a little added incentive.

Maybe choose not to allow yourself on social media until you complete one task on your list each day.... Or buy yourselve a new shirt or outfit that you won't wear until you reach a particular goal. Or treat yourself to a movie or dinner out, and various other rewards for yourself.

It takes willpower not to cheat on whatever goal/reward you choose, but it's one way to create motivation. These are tricks I use to help myself, when I find myself not meeting my own expectations of how I should be living my life.

2

I have the same problem. I think mine comes partly from dystemia, but also partly from not being competitive. I've never been into status, power, money or acquiring material possessions. However, would be good to keep my apartment and car cleaner, and keep up more with research in my vocational field

1

For me this is depression. I do the same thing and beat myself up for it. I’m always wondering if I’m just lazy or I’m sinking into depression. I’m a strong believer that if your house is full of clutter and other stuff it reflects what’s going on mentally. If you think you’re lazy there’s probably more going on.

@MrLizard I’m having to go through my crap also because I moved into an apartment that is smaller. But last apartment was similar to hoarders but with regular amount of things. Too many books. My sewing collection. And I love to cook so many utensils. Clutter really does something to you. One thing I learned is the phrase “Do you NEED this or WANT this?” And that’s a really great point. I’ve sold about $500 worth of stuff on Facebook. And every time an item is gone I feel better. Clean hone is a happy home.

1

Complacency is a part of the human condition unfortunately. I am an introvert and use to suffer anxiety in public too which is why i still don't shop at walmart till this day...Its like a zoo!

I figured out that chewing gum works for (me) and it gives me something else to focus on.
You should force yourself to do things (alone) like go see a movie, take a walk in the park.
I like to shop so that is my therapy.

If you make enough money and are content with your profession, this mimimizes the will to excel professionally. Many people are like that.

1

I don't know...but I'm wondering if we become room mates...will we inspire each other to activity?

1

Maybe step back and look at the big picture. do you want to regret what you could of done?

do you want more?

0

Deep interest and personal meaning

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:37091
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.