I visit churches for weddings, funerals, and as a tourist. And when you think about it, I'm kind of a tourist when I'm at the weddings and funerals as well, observing the customs of an alien culture from the viewpoint of my own much different one. I don't participate, I just observe.

Well, I have to take that back--I did once participate in a Catholic funeral. It was my father-in-law's, and he had requested that everyone in the family be involved in it. I could have been dogmatic and refused (and thereby alienated all of my wife's family), but I realized that my father-in-law was a real iconoclast, and that was the reason he wanted me included. He knew better than to force anything on me. Appropriately enough, I was given the wine to take up for the communion. My brother-in-law had the wafers, and on our stroll up to the altar, he mumbled over at me, "Don't drink it all, Cuz." After the ceremony was over, the look on the priest's face when he learned I was an atheist was worth the whole experience.

The important thing, though, is that I was able to honor my father-in-law and stay on good terms with my in-laws while they knew full well that it did not affect my status as a nonbeliever one iota.

As a modern mystic, I would say that a church is just a building. To give it any sort of magical power is similar to believing in relics. The only power a relic has is that which it is given by its believers. Go wherever you want. If you don't give inanimate objects meaning or power than they have none.

Thank you all for your advice and comments, a meeting was had and a concensus was reached. it was decided that i would not enter the building but that i would wait outside. works for me and no-one will be upset.

Although the ceremony itself may be held in a religious venue and there may be trapping of religious nonsense and tradition in the wedding, it is about your daughter and her hearts chosen. You should be there for her. You are not paying or giving any respect to the church by being there, because you are there for them. Do not miss out on an important event in your child's life. It is easier to deal with a moments discomfort than a lifelong regret.

Refusing to attend a special moment in your child's life is extremely petulant. If I had a child that bowed to Satan and they were to be married in front of the altar of evil, I would be there to support them.
I've noticed that quite a few on here are aggressive when it comes to beliefs and I am instantly reminded of Christian missionaries. Some have put it forward that 'we' must fight to show them that they are wrong. I will now quote from the book of Larry, chapter 2 verses 3-5. And it came to pass that I gaveth not one shit. And I tarried forth for a bit. And then I still gaveth not one shit what altar others may flock to.

It's your life and decision, but my daughter had a JW wedding. I don't believe in their theology, but she does and I respect that. To me it was more important to be there for her on a very significant day in her life that was centered around her and her husband, instead of me forcing it to be centered around my beliefs. I would attend the event, after all it's just a building, and I don't see how your entrance through the door will negate or undermine your beliefs or integrity. It's not like it's being held in a Nazi themed auditorium or KKK seance. That's just my 2cents...

I don't know why not go in. It's a building and you are going to celebrate the love between two people, hopefully regardless of what they believe. I personally love the architecture of holy buildings, particularly the old cathedrals as artwork rather than some place of worship. It's a building. Different people are allowed to feel differently about the buildings. As long as you don't decide to break out in hymns or praise God yourself which would be the real hypocrisy since you don't really believe, who really cares?

I would like to add if anyone invites you a simple "No thank you" is plenty and if they persist just remind them you are there for the sake of your daughter getting married and to please respect that.

To the OP, I've seen the reply where your meeting was had and you are going to stand outside.

I am appalled at how anybody can be so selfish regardless of what they think. I might say different if it was a Christening or Baptism but it's a wedding!

Minus the hymns, prayer and the addition of religious words in the vows there are no other differences to being married in a registration office!

Your daughter may say now its okay, but believe me her views will change on the day when things get emotional. When it comes to the crunch you have refused to be at her side at the most momentous occasion of her life. I'm not saying you are a despicable person because I don't know you, but what you have agreed to is despicable.

I hope that you can have a change of heart.

If they were having a star trek wedding, in a themed restaurant, or the ceremony was in a Superbowl themed restaurant, you would attended, despite not being into that subculture?

I think you should go, because they have chosen to have the wedding there. I am sure you won't be the only atheist in the church.

Yes you are being silly. You are also acting like a believer who fears the church will have some power over him. If you are an atheist then a church is just a building. Your daughter’s wedding is an event you will regret missing for the rest of your life.

Go to your daughter wedding. This isent about a belief in a god. This is about a major event in your daughter life and i'm assuming she would like you to be there.

Whatever you wish to do has nothing to do with your beliefs. Hell go , it is your daughter, Inner moral policy should include compromise for our loved ones, However , I for one never attend funerals as I see them as disgusting But this is different

It's just a building. Don't give it any more importance than bricks and mortar. Enjoy your daughter's wedding. XXX

I don't consider it disrespectful to enter a religious building as an atheist, as long as you BEHAVE respectfully. It's your daughter's wedding, and you are there for HER. Weddings are a celebration of love, not necessarily religion. Your daughter's marriage is important to her, and it would be best if you could attend if possible. Just make sure they know not to pressure you if they are particularly religious.

Sure ... as long as your skin doesnt start to burn as the church's shadow falls across your skin.

Yes you are being a bit silly, but let me explain. We need to live with people who are religious. They are religious and follow, often, strict principles. Why would you want to have strict principles also? Who cares because it is only a building? I would enjoy meeting people and having fun. You did not convert to atheism, it is not a religion where you have to prove anything. I think you are carrying religious baggage. Let it go and be thankful you are not taken in by religious superstition.

If you like the people enough then why not? You don't have to pray or sing though if it's Catholic and they all kneel and you remain standing you might look like a right prune so you might have to kneel lol
No need to upset other people for no reason. I know some really nice Christians actually and I don't hold it against them. If they are your friends then why upset them? They must already know you , right?

Before I made that decision I would need to know if and what sort of food is being served. That may sound petty but compared to your self centered obsession with your image and how people see you that you would dis your daughter that way is beyond words. However, in the long run you may be doing her a favor. This all begs the question, " who do you think cares so much about what you think concerning god"?

Attend your daughter's wedding. A church is brick and mortar, just a building.
A wedding is special to all who attend. Please don't miss the celebration because of principle.

All my relatives are strict RC and I am an atheist but that doesn't keep me from going into a church or temple to look and learn and broaden my horizon.

It would be a great wedding present for your daughter to to her wedding. I think marriage of a child should be an exception.

Should and Ought s are incredibly slippery articles, I go into churches withot feeling that I am betraying my principles -I tend to base myself around the idea of love, and for me going to my daughters wedding would be where I relax my principles but seriously its your call

Please don't miss your daughter's wedding because it's happening in a church. A church is just a store where they sell something they can't prove exists. You won't be forced to buy anything, but you'll regret not being a part of this super important moment in your daughter's life, and it could taint your relationship with her forever. Your policy is not worth that.

Sure! Go, go! I've found that keeping one's beliefs or disbeliefs private is just as easy as keeping one's sex life private. Why should it be an issue?

no, your not being silly. I vowed never to set foot in church as long as I live. If I get married it will be outside or at a courthouse. be true to yourself.