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How do you meet people?

I have never had a girlfriend and have no close friends because I don't know how to do this, and dating sites haven't worked for me

crookedrain94 3 Mar 16

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14 comments

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3

Dating sites are a tool. You still gotta do the work.

Yup.

4

I recommend meetup.com. Find a group that interests you and go to some activities. Go out and do things and be open to conversations.

4

I am possibly the very worst person in the world to give advice on this.
But I will anyway.
You meet people every day, most days anyway.
That's 1 down.
oh, you mean you want to meet a girl? date etc?
Like others have said, "meet up"
it's not easy,
you have to join,
you have to join groups
you have to make contact
and to have to actually turn up at the meets.
I say this because I didn't. There was a group I was interested in, a few hours away, and they actually had a weekend meetup in my town,
I checked it out but didn't go.
At these groups, if you talk to 10 girls and one doesn't yell and scream for you to leave, that's a win.
Talk to 100, based on that 10 will talk back.
Hopefully your rate is higher than mine.
Talk to girls who share interests, meet one at a concert, not necessarily take her as a date if it is too soon,
ask to meet one after work for coffee.
No, not potential girlfriends, just girls to talk to, share ideas,
maybe some have single friends who knows.
Don't see every girl you want to ask out as the future wife,
just a potential friend.

Told you I am not very ggood at this, but good luck, hope you make some new friends, all genders.

2

If happen to make it past two fences and a wall then get by the dogs. If all that happens if isee them on one of the 13 cameras. I can call the sherif if he is busy. I can shoot them in the and talk to then while the ambulance is comming.

That works too.

2

Yup, I agree with the others.
Join up, show up, talk to people who seem to have similar interests, and if she seems to like you (pushes back her hair playfully, laughs at your jokes, looks at you while you are talking together instead of at her phone) ask if she'd like to meet for coffee some time.

If she agrees, have a conversation, talk about mutual interests, but let her take the lead and show interest in what she's saying, then remember it later. If she says she hates video games, don't invite her to your Halo game night, for instance. If she says she loves flowers and walking, invite her to see a nearby botanical garden with you, etc.

On this forum it will give you points, and help people get to know you, if you finish writing your profile and answer the rest of profile questions.

This is good stuff, I am taking notes!

2

Never pass up a chance for a conversation. It doesn't matter where you are. If someone interests you, figure out something to say. Compliment them on their clothes or their hair, or do the usual "You been coming here long?" line. If they're wearing a t shirt with a humorous or political message, you've had the subject of your conversation handed to you. Just get to talking. If they're interested a conversation will start.

And eventually you can use my standard line: "I'm enjoying this. I'd like to keep in contact with you. Would you like to trade phone numbers?"

4

When my wife was sick, most of my friends drifted away. I don't blame them, I just wasn't there. After she passed I knew I needed to be around people, so I joined several Meetup groups (meetup.com) engaged in different things for my various interests. Things like digital photography, independent film, or just social groups. The idea was not immediate romance, instead I was looking for people that I shared common interests with. Eventually some relationships have formed, and we have some interests in common.

once you join, you still have to go, that is the hard part.

4

I looke d at your profile: you work as a produce clerk in a store where women not only work but, also flock to to buy Produce. Put it together, there son, start talking to them for a start.

Produce clerk? - my dream job.. And yes, beside the Garden Center, women central 😉

2

Don't bother with dating sites especially if you have always been single. maybe you need to boost your confidance? have you got interests like hiking or star gazing etc? the best way to meet like minded people is to do what you like doing with other people who also like doing the same thing. you will instantly have something in common.

2

You are young. Do you not hit bands or places where music is played? That's a start.
Do you dance? Being willing to get out on the floor and dance will give you an edge every time.
Are there coffee shops in your area? IDC what anyone says that is the dry day persons in to having conversations with ppl that might interest you. Bring your laptop and work on something interesting.

1

I'm guessing you now how to do it but have defined yourself as somebody who doesn't know how to do it. Sometimes our thoughts really screw with us.

Yup, even when we'd rather be screwed by someone else...

@Donotbelieve yah I've been there

1

I’ve a longtime friend in the same situation who seeks my advice... I asked a more successful friend on his account, she suggested he pursue a group activity he enjoys, thus meeting like-minded people..

Problem is, my friend discounts his abilities and attributes to the point he undercuts his confidence ..thus removing himself from opportunities faster than he can get into them.. Then asks for more advice… If I suggest he ignore those fears, he’ll argue to convince me how crippling they are.. Online dating hasn’t worked for him, either.

How do ‘I’ meet people? Without pretense. Pay attention, say what I feel, it’s usually relevant, a conversation may ensue ..no pressure or expectations. Men, women, young or old, just be yourself, honest, relevant … and if someone finds you worthwhile or attractive, smile back 🙂 ..it can lead to greater things ~

Varn Level 8 Mar 17, 2018
0

I have a certain confidence but I am different than the average Joe. When it comes to movies, music, and TV I have to know names. I'm sort of a self taught historian and I have studied many things. Once I was a walking encyclopedia.This doesn't interest anyone today as language and times have changed. I'm not giving a damn about eating Tide, and I had to look up "gaslighting" to see what it meant. I'm an imperfect self educated dinosaur. I don't dance well and I no longer hang out at bars. It's a big waste of time.

Getting someone to come over to my place for a Netflix evening would be great. I'm not even sure today how you do that. I'm at a stage where I really do not know what I want out of life.

0

You have to hang out where people are. Go to school, meetup.com, find common interest with other people. Growing your network helps you communicate better.

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