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Monogamy

Do you desire monogamy? Is it something you search for? Is it a personal choice? Are there building blocks to monogamy or is it a building block to, say, polygamous relationships?

ashortbeauty 8 Mar 18
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42 comments (26 - 42)

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2

I try not to seek it but to build a strong trustworthy, loving relationship would be alright. Til then I'm on the rental market 😉.

2

Love is not pie. I won't run out. No one person has yet met all my needs. Nor have I ever been the one to meet all her needs. I am in deep, intimate, loving relationships with more than one person, and they with others. We are all very happy with the arrangement.

2

I am for polyamory and monogamy, any of those two works for me. Polygamy is not fit for me. I believe in equal opportunity.

Good answer 🙂

2

I personally have a hard enough time with trust and relationships that I tend to be monogamous. I have friends who are polyamorous, and more power to them.

2

This is root core question. To have a mate and be true gets down to the id, where fear comes into play of losing your companion (not jealousy). From a health standpoint single lover is by far the least risk of infections.

Interesting viewpoint

1

I will not be in anything but open or poly relationships, and marriage is out of the question. Which leaves me here:

Monogamy? No.
Polygamy? No.
Ethical non-monogamy? Yes.
Polyamory? Yes

1

I believe in monogamy. My problem is that in most cases that lasts about 12 years or so. There is something that comes along at about the 12 years together span that makes one of us want to go a different way. It isn't always another person either. I'm still trying to figure it out.

My average lies at 6 years...been through it 3 times. Once married the other two times not married.

@ashortbeauty In LTR's 4 times all were married except one. Even so, we lived as married and told others that we were.

1

I would rather an open or polygamous setup then cheating in a supposed monogamous one.
I am old now, I do have some lady friends who want to grow old with me in a non sexual arrangement. A couple know each other, I guess they consider me one of the girls, none of them are at all interested in sex with me or anybody else. Hence, I am not moving in that direction just yet.

1

On some levels, yes. But when it happens, I find it rather restrictive. I was with one guy who wanted to go monogamous from day one of dating. I stuck with the arrangement. I didn't so much miss seeing other people as the thrill of the chase (or the thrill of being chased.)

It might be different if cohabiting and having sex reasonably often. But when I'm on my own and 'in that mood', a bit of online flirting often scratches the itch.

1

Monogamy is the only way to go fir me. I wouldn’t be able to share my woman with anyone else.

1

I just recently started a relationship with someone, and after just a few weeks, she told me she may be sending me to the friend zone and she cheated on me with another guy. She said it wasn't supposed to happen and she had told this guy she wasn't interested in him that way, but it ended up that way. I have always believed that if you are with someone, just dating, or in a commited relationship you should always be monogamus. If you just want to be friends with benefits, say so. I personally like the benefits, but I prefer some kind of emotional connection before the benefits part. It makes the sex much better

1

I like the idea of monogamy. Ideally, I would like to give someone all of my attention, and have them give me all of theirs. The idea of being in a relationship that lasts over the years is appealing: knowing that other person would always be there.

Of course, at my age that is almost flat out impossible.

1

I believe in monogamy just not monotony.

1

I'm slightly fluid on this. I have a little give on which direction to go. I think everyone has their own decision or range on what they are comfortable with. For me I'm good with monogamy. But if I was with a bi woman I wouldn't mind if she brought another woman into the relationship on a long term basis that is acceptable to both and loves both. More women would be acceptable if it was their desire and could be found in which all partys involved had love and adoration of all parties. My hard limit is that I am the only male as I am completely straight, and if they want to be the only female thats absolutely fine too. Thats just my range though, I think its something you have to communicate and work out with each individual partner, and have to keep in mind the more you add to the boat the more you increase the risk of it tipping over. I'm also personally against open relationships but understand it works for others. Thats not polygamous but some get confused about it.

That's a pretty controlling definition of polyamory. You realize that,right? The whole idea is that you're NOT dictating your partners choices to them. Ugh

@Blindbird Thats open relationship not necessarily polyamory. Like I said each relationship has their own comfort zones. I simply stated mine.

@Pernbronze dude you're still placing limits on your partners life. That's entirely contrary to the whole spirit of polyamory. Yuck.

@Blindbird This is about polygamy not about open relationships, they are not the same thing.

@Pernbronze no. It is about POLYAMORY. Polygamy is guys keeping a stable of women because they think they're entitled to special priveleges that their partners are not. I suggest you go find yourself a dictionary and someone to explain what equality and mutuality means. Also in case I didn't make this clear, I think you're the worst sort of misogynist. The kind that hides behind a thin veneer of liberality. I see you are correct in that the OP did state polygamy. I suspect that was a mistaken term however, knowing what I do about @Ashortbeauty.

@Blindbird pol·y·am·o·ry
ˌpälēˈamərē/Submit
noun
the philosophy or state of being in love or romantically involved with more than one person at the same time.
No where in there does it there should not be limitations or that everyone cannot love each other. Also polygamy is married to more than one person, gender doesn't matter. Your sexism is obvious. Its fine that you like open relationships, I however do not. And I am far from a misogynist and happily a feminist. At no point did I say she had to do anything I wouldn't do. This was all on her choice and interests that I was willing and able to accept in a romantic partner. Its quite shameful that you bash someone for their sexual and romantic. preferences and being willing to yield a little extra to the person he is with so that they do not have to choose between male or female to spend their life with but can enjoy both sides of their sexuality freely and be accepted for who they are.

0

Monogamy is an admirable goal. I personally do not expect it because I do not anticipate owning or be owned by another person. I expect devotion and love when we are together. That's it.

0

If a relationship isn't monogomas it can't last. I don't tolerate cheating. I'd rather leave than be put in that position. I have 2 ex wives so I know from experience.

Polygamy doesn't involve cheating. I was in a polyamorous relationship. It lasted just as long as my monogamous relationships. It may not be right for you, and that's ok, but saying it's wrong is like saying LGBQ+ is wrong.

0

I think we should date established couples

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