Oh I have been cussed out by a couple girls for not being interested, but it's different for men, I just rolled my eyes and went on my way.

May be it has to do with mommy tell you guys -always- that you are the best after spread butter?

You couldn't have said this better.

So much this! A valid point.

I fully agree with this assessment. I didn't consider this post to be about the incels though. Just men being jerks when rejected. Incels are a completely different beast than the general population. Women have much more to be concerned with in general where rejection happens. I didn't address that with my comment simply because I did not read that as part of the original question in the post. I don't feel that it's a level playing field at all. I do believe that women are as easily pissed off though when they do make advances and men reject them. The aftermath can be much worse where men are rejected. There is no doubt there. In my experience, it's much more rare for women to actually be the one rejected. The number of times I rejected women is far fewer than the number of times I've been rejected. I have never been insulting with my response. I've always been pretty gracious and expressed flattery. Still, it didn't always end nicely. Some just don't know how to handle rejection regardless of gender.

One of the sweet things about being male is that you don't automatically have to take your personal safety into consideration when dealing with the opposite sex. This is something most women do so constantly that it often becomes unconscious habit. Something as simple as walking outdoors alone can be a huge risk for us, and the risk escalates if we have pissed off a man for any reason, intentionally or unintentionally, or even without realizing we have done so. As you say, although I have experienced sexual/romantic rejection and am familiar with how painful it can be, it hasn't happened very frequently. But most women are accustomed to being rejected often in arenas other than romantic, we are accustomed to being interrupted when we speak, we are accustomed to having it assumed that we don't understand things and need to have them explained to us by a man, we are accustomed to waiting our turn even when our turn keeps getting pushed back by the priorities of someone who considers his own far more important, we are accustomed to being assessed for merit purely on the basis of how we look, and hell, we are even accustomed to having to quickly step out of the way of the path of an oncoming man in order to keep from getting body slammed on the sidewalk.

I was thirteen years old the first time a guy tried to rape me in a parking lot after saying I wasn't interested. That same week the lady downstairs was raped and her stomach was cut up. I'd be shocked if most men lived with this type of fear

Haha yes you would.

Agreed. Does it happen a lot to you?

I wouldn't say a lot, but I've definitely been there.

I'm sure some women do get really nasty but I would say it's not uncommon for me to get death threats, rape threats or just called nasty names. "It goes both ways" is accurate technically but it paints a picture of equality which I'm pretty sure isn't the case.

@klang72 I do not believe for a fucking minute you are getting inundated with threats of death and rape. It goes both ways is more than accurate, it is fact.

@Sticks48 You can believe whatever you want to but if you read more of this thread you'll find that treatment isn't uncommon. You have to remember you were dating before the internet and things have changed a lot.

@Sticks48 But you're here I assume as a man of science so don't take my word for it. I invite you to make yourself an online dating profile with a picture of a woman and start talking to men and eventually rejecting them. Record your data and let us know.

@klang72 On line is all bullshit. If they don't know where you live it doesn't matter. People say shit on line because of anonymity. All this crap on line is not the real world. I am talking face to face rejection, not this make believe world.

@klang72 This isn't the real world. This is whatever people want to pretend to be.

@Sticks48 That's probably exactly what the men doing all that BS think. But I'm a real person with real feelings and having a computer in between doesn't change that. I had a guy use my photo to find my facebook to find my place of work and show up there. I was a kindergarten teacher at the time so it really freaked me out. I could probably find you with not all that much effort. (I never would because that's messed up- just to be clear.) People have been fired for what they say online. Your online persona is an extension of yourself, especially when you attach things like your picture to it. Just be careful what you say. (Again, not a threat. Just friendly advice.)

@Sticks48 Also- is your argument that it's perfectly fine to threaten people online because online isn't real? Just trying to figure out what you're saying here.

@klang72 You don't have to be on line. if you are on line you don't have to put out any more info than you want to. You see it here all the time. Say what you will, this is not real life. Hence the use of "IRL" continuously online. If this is a persons "real world", they have some very deep issues. This is meant to be a tool not a lifestyle.

@klang72 I'm not saying it is fine. I am saying it is to be expected because of anonymity. People get awfully brazen when you are not face to face. I see people on here all the time saying shit they would never say if they were face to face with people. Face to face these men probably would not even approach you to ask you out. I am not saying women don't have to be careful, but that is a different subject.

@Sticks48 What are you actually trying to say? You're avoiding answering my questions. If women get harassed online it's their own fault for being there? Is it ok to threaten people because it's "not real"? If you had a daughter or a wife and she was online and some stranger was sending her messages saying he was going to find her and kill her would that be cool with you? Should women have to give up using the internet because of the behaviors of men? Because that's what it sounds like you're saying and I'd like some clarification.

@klang72 No, you just want to argue. You can walk down a dark alley at night if you so desire and live with the consequences. There can be consequences to putting too much personal information online. That is up to each individual to decide. You aren't going to change it, I'm not going to change it.It is what it is. You can get involved online as much or as little as you like. As with most things in life, there are tradeoffs. You have to decide which tradeoffs are worth it.

@Sticks48 Just because I'm not letting what you're saying go, doesn't mean I just want to argue. I'm going to call you out just like I'm going to call out any guy perpetuating rape culture and victim blaming. Your "dark alley" comment makes your stance pretty clear. You've really made an example of yourself.

@klang72 good idea. People who have commented here should run a test such as that. From both sides. I have to say, vulgarites often come to my profile in a first message from men. Many times a first contact is a horrible personal attack based on my photo or a coment about why i am single. I always block them with no reply. But why would some one go out of their way to attack someone whom they didnt even know. Baffles me.

Thank you so much. It's so true and yes not all men but a lot of times these things occur. It sucks and can turn a woman bitter real quick. So again, thank you and you keep yours up as well. ?

That is so freaking common. I had a guy threaten to rape me within an inch of my life when I didn't respond to his message online. I feel like real world behavior has been a lot better but online I almost expect to be abused.

That's a great point. It seems like many romance movies or romantic comedies hinge on a guy not taking "no" for an answer.

@Litefoot555 do you not realize that spinliesel was saying that her replie to rudeness was to tell them fuck you? So she was not instigating the rudeness just giving it back to him.

@Litefoot555 You bring my next question to the plate: Is a woman obligated to like any man who approaches her? Somebody told me "Yes, she is."